To Those Who Wait (standard:romance, 2227 words)
Author: Snow White	Added: Sep 20 2000	Views/Reads: 4808/2631	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Ronnie and Dean learn that sometimes what is right in front of your face is sometimes the hardest thing to see.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

greedily absorbing every word.  With each passing syllable, I saw how 
she had dishonored me and lied to me every step of the way.  There had 
been no aspect of our friendship that hadn't been soiled by her 
duplicity.  My heart exploded, now I would be justified in telling Dean 
the truth.  There was nothing sacred about Melissa; the knife she used 
was dull, rusty and sticking out of my back.  So then why did I still 
feel bound to her? 

"His name is Steve, isn't it?" 

*** 

Pushed away by the rumors and lies, I didn't speak much to Dean anymore.
 I had lost my best friend and the man I loved in a matter of weeks.  
So I did the only thing anyone could have done, I went on with my life; 
returning to college with my head hung low and my shattered heart 
locked safely in a mountain of ice. 

In time men, liquor and dreams floated in and out of my existence.  With
each new passing romance I tried desperately to convince myself that I 
was in love.  Each time, the bitter truth held in my heart floated to 
the murky surface.  I was haunted by images of a familiar face blurred 
by the events of the past. 

*** 

Over time we stopped talking all together.  Dean had gotten married, or
so I heard and had no time for an old friend from high school.  I was 
living my life, searching for the only true thing I had ever lost. 

Have you ever searched diligently for something when you didn't know
what it was?  I had worked so hard to tell everyone around me that I 
had never loved him that I actually fooled myself.  What is it that 
they say about fooling a fool? 

My life was chaos, I had no direction, no purpose and I prayed for an
end to this life.  Five years and several states later, I found 
direction in a man who loved me, or at least thought he did. 

Mike was sweet, wonderful and kind.  He was everything that I wanted in
a man.  We had a whirlwind romance and when he asked me to marry him I 
said, "yes."  It made sense and I was supposed to be happy, these were 
happy times.  So why was I still left with an empty feeling inside of 
me?  There was something missing from this state of perfection, and I 
didn't know what it was.  I didn't want to know. 

*** 

I can still remember the day that Mike took me to the airport so that I
could go home for Christmas one more time.  Little did I know it was 
going to be our last happy time together.  We had our whole lives to 
look forward to, or at least five years.  Everything was `I Love Lucy' 
perfect, all smiles on the surface and storms brewing underneath.  Mike 
made plans to shop for a wedding ring the old fashioned way, online. I 
made plans to sleep with an old lover of mine.  With my bags packed and 
a hopeful look at the future, we got in the car and headed towards the 
lights of the city. 

Somewhere along the way, I heard Vanessa Williams sing of snow in June,
and for an instant I thought of Dean.  I wondered where he was and if 
he was happy.    For just a moment I said a little what if and then let 
it go, like a butterfly in the spring. 

*** 

Later that same evening I arrived in Baltimore for a routine Christmas
vacation.  My mother took me out to dinner and I told her of my plans 
to marry Mike and live for a while.  She took a deep breath and held 
her tongue.  There were so many things she longed to tell me, so many 
truths she wanted me to see.  But how does someone reason with a person 
who has lost her reason? 

Somehow we managed to get all of my luggage in the house and calm down a
dog who was tripping over her tongue to see me.  I had just started 
unpacking when the doorbell rang.  It was late at night and I had no 
idea who it was.  Like a kid ripping the paper off an unexpected 
Christmas present, I ran to the door opened it, and almost fell into 
his arms.  There was Dean standing on my doorstep looking down at me.  
Had it only been two years since I had seen him last?  My heart came to 
life and began to beat in a way I had nearly forgotten.  We hugged like 
old friends often do and regrets began to flood my mind.  As soon as 
they were formed I pushed them away, like I had done so many times 
before. 

We sat there in the entryway of my house and talked for a while about
the weather and friends we hadn't seen in a while and how about those 
Mets? 

"I'm getting a divorce.  Tracy left me months ago." 

"I'm getting married."  Now where did that come from?  A little voice
inside my head told me to take it back.  But this was the path we had 
chosen, Mike was the right one for me.  He was what I needed, and 
besides I didn't love Dean, I never had, had I? 

Dean took a deep breath and looked at me, "married, huh?"  His eyes
plummeted to the floor and silence filled the house.  "Do you love 
him?"  Once more he looked in my eyes and saw straight to my soul.  
There was no lying to him. 

"Oh Mike is a wonderful guy.  You should see the way we work together,
and he loves me so much.  He works for a big corporation and makes good 
money, so he'll be able to take care of me.  And he's so sweet."  The 
words poured out of me and flooded the room, drowning out my true 
emotions. 

*** 

When Dean walked out that night I breathed a sigh of relief as angels
above groaned in exasperation.  There was no way I was going down that 
road again.  I had Mike in my life and that was all I needed.  Things 
were going to work out just fine.  I made false promises, telling Dean 
that I would call him so we could talk.  For a reason I didn't quite 
yet understand, I was afraid of him.  I had worked so hard to build up 
a sense of security, and on some level I knew Dean would disrupt the 
house of lies I was living in. 

*** 

The day after Christmas, Dean called.  It's funny how such a little
thing would change my life so profoundly.  My thanks to you, Ma Bell.  
He wanted to see me.  Not the next day, or next week, it had to be at 
that very moment.  My eyes closed, I took a breath and walked to the 
edge of that cliff when I heard myself say yes. 

We spent all night driving around the city, looking at Christmas lights
and dancing around the unspoken words that were wrestling beneath the 
surface. 

Somehow or another we wound up parked by the ocean under the icy moon. 
Each of us waited for the other to speak.  The silence finally became 
so thick I was drowning, I couldn't breathe.  I closed my eyes and 
grasped on to a memory of Mike and the laughter we shared.  He was the 
man I was going to marry.  Anything that might go on between Dean and I 
that night was going to stay in Alaska, right where it belonged.  That 
was just the way it was going to be, there was no disputing that.  I 
couldn't let my heart rule my life; logic was the path for me.  There 
was no way I was going to jump into the pool of molten emotion that 
Dean laid out before me. My mind was made up, the final decision made. 

And then he said he loved me. 

*** 

By the time I got home everything that I had based my life upon was
yanked out from underneath of me and I found I could fly.  My faith, my 
hopes, my dreams and my love had all been handed back to me on a silver 
platter wrapped neatly in three little words.  I stood in the entryway 
of the house where Dean had come a week before and laughed out loud.  
This time I heard the angels laugh along side of me. 

The sun was rising in the east as I slid out back for a forbidden
cigarette.  I lit up and took a deep drag.  Somewhere I heard a bird 
sing and a voice from the past echoed through my mind. 

"Ronnie, I just met the most amazing guy." 


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