Katy, Bar the Door. (standard:Satire, 936 words)
Author: Oscar A Rat	Added: Jul 16 2020	Views/Reads: 1444/964	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
When James I, King of Scots was cornered at an inn, his enemy stormed upstairs to the King’s chambers. Catherine is said to have barred the door with her arm until James’s knights rescued him.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story


*** 

Soon, she and her mother were approaching a large three-story stone
building.  It was an expensive inn where she was employed as a maid.  
That weekend, King James was staying inside with his wife, Queen 
Joanna.  She was vaguely aware that she was in Scotland and that the 
year was 1437.  Stranger and strangest, she thought, knowing but not 
knowing all those mundane tidbits. 

She also knew that the king wasn't very popular with anyone -- which was
why he was hiding there from his enemies. 

She also recalled that the bastard had been trying to pinch her ass all
day the day before, so she had her own reasons to dislike him.  But he 
was the king, after all. 

*** 

Later that day, in an upstairs bedroom, the bastard king was trying to
grab her, yet again, when they heard armor clanging in the front yard.  
His enemies had arrived. 

In a cowardly panic, he hurriedly tried to lock the door, but the bar
that went across the two halves of the door to secure them was missing. 


“Save your king, lass.  Stick your arm through the latches.” 

“Screw you, I'm not that stupid.” 

Looking into a corner, Catherine reached into her cleaning bag.  She
quickly extracted a hand grenade and rolled it down the stairs.  The 
explosion cleared the stairs of brigands.  Then, Catharine grabbed an 
Uzi machine-gun out of that same bag and sprayed the front yard, 9mm 
rounds easily piercing iron armor, killing the invaders and saving the 
King. 

After all, she considered, why break a limb?  It was HER dream. 

The End.


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