The Future Of Advertising. 1,600 (standard:humor, 1545 words)
Author: Oscar A Rat	Added: Jun 19 2020	Views/Reads: 1352/995	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
In the future, everyone will have communication chips inserted at birth, allowing a steady stream of targeted subliminal advertising.

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Mike Edward's law division next door.  He comes storming out of his 
office and down the hall. 

“What's wrong, Mike?” I call to him as he passes my cubicle. 

“Another damned hacker victory,” he tells me, face red. “We have to do
something about that damn Federal Judge, John Evens.  He ruled that 
using one of those ‘Adaware' programs was defined as legal.  Now 
hundreds, even thousands, will rush to buy the devices.” 

Adaware is one of about a half-dozen anti-ad-implant manufacturers we're
suing.  They're accused of hindering free enterprise by selling devices 
that block our advertising.  The clincher, in our defense, is that we 
provide many free services sponsored by our ads. 

Our devices, inserted directly into a subject's brain -- with their
implied permission, of course -- saves many thousands of lives a year. 

When we first released the details, the invention had been lauded
highly.  It includes a small electronic chip thingy with benefits like 
global positioning, free telephone service, provisions for emergency 
broadcasts directly into or from a subject's mind.  Squeezing your nose 
hard will summon emergency services.  The device and operation are 
expensive, too much so for the government to buy for all citizens.  Or 
for many to buy on their own. 

Our CEO mentioned that private industry could take up the cost ... if
our customers allowed us to include a few unobtrusive advertisements 
into the mix.  At first, it was at the rate of about one every three 
hours, with elected officials getting free advertising.  Over the 
years, we've been forced into accepting more clients, meaning almost 
constant subliminal advertising. 

Our bill passed almost unanimously. 

Since then, we've improved our services.  Phone calls and texts are
filtered for information on what customers would like to buy.  That 
information is used to target ads to specific individuals.  Our large 
staff does pick out only the best products to proffer to our customers. 
 Our public relations experts are very good at seeing that the ads are 
effective, and our profits are huge. 

“Now, in regard to anti-ad devices, we have to bother with the Court of
Appeals, which we control.  It's a royal pain in the ass,” he tells me. 


And, he's right.  We furnish our services for free, parents agreeing at
birth.  If they find ways to avoid advertisements, it's the same as 
stealing from us.  And the device is expensive to take out. 

The cheap anti-ad-devices are a real and growing threat, though.  Have
it on your person and it emits a field that filters out advertising but 
allows the other services -- taking money out of our pockets.  Some 
people are afraid of us. I can't figure that one out. 

Why, even wars are now obsolete.  We, and other companies world-wide,
get together every week. We agree that destruction would be bad for 
business.  If any country prepares for war, we know it and send 
subliminal messages to its citizens to refuse to fight.  You can't have 
a war if the populace rebels and soldiers ignore the order. 

*** 

Lunch time.  I stop at Mike's office on my way out. 

“Come on.  It isn't all that bad.  I'll buy you lunch?” I offer. 

He gets up with a sigh, a smile, and a shrug of broad shoulders. 

“Yeah, guess so.  Worry won't get me anywhere.” 

We walk to the elevator, then outside. 

“Where you want to eat?” I ask. 

“How about Elmer's?  You got the money?” 

“I'm rich,” I tell him.  “Just gotta stop and buy some pads, I received
a reminder this morning from MaxiePads that I'm about out, and my 
period will start in a few days.”  I give him a pointed look, as if to 
say he'd better hurry if he wants to sleep with me, or be cut off. 

We finally make it to Elmer's Restaurant.  Mike probably chose it
because of its damper.  Even I have to admit that sometimes the ads get 
to me.  A lot of businesses have dampers, most so that they can use 
their own transmitters to help sell their own products.  Of course we 
also have control of their transmitters -- a profitable subsidiary of 
our company. 

No need for a menu.  From the moment we walk in the door, even before we
sit down, our minds are inundated by a series of advertisements for 
their meals.  It will stop once we order, and saves time for everyone. 

After a good meal, we go back to work.  Mike promises to come over
tonight after work.  I beat the service – ha-ha – by reminding him to 
shave and take a shower first. 

For myself, I have to pick up groceries.  On the way home, I stop at my
favorite supermarket and put the service to work.  It keeps track of my 
pantry, freezer, and refrigerator.   As I shop, the ad service prompts 
me on each needed article and suggests a few new items. 

Finally, tired from work and shopping, I get home and sit in my favorite
chair.  I switch on the holovision and turn to a favorite series of 
mine on the History Channel.  It turns out to be a two-hour show on the 
history of advertising in the US.  Sort of a busman's holiday. 

The End.


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