Brandy's Autobiography (standard:non fiction, 4710 words)
Author: Rudy	Added: Apr 23 2001	Views/Reads: 3377/2273	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A story about the life and loss of my Toy Yorkshire terrier after 3-1/2 short years. This story is written through "her eyes". I wrote this story to help myself heal from her loss.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

It's getting dark outside.  I hate the dark.  It's scary.  Maybe not,
something smells good.  Mommy's in the kitchen doing something.  That 
doesn't smell like my food.  It smells like it should be my food.   
Hey, I can hear mommy putting food in my dish.  There are some things 
you learn fast.  Boy, am I hungry.  Purina, chicken and rice, my 
favorite. 

There's nothing like a good meal to make you feel better.  Except maybe
a visit to the bathroom.  Like clockwork, 15 minutes after a meal and, 
well you know.  Where was it that I was supposed to go?  I wish I paid 
closer attention to mommy.  It can't be too far.  In here, no.  What 
about here, no.  I can't believe this.  Why is this happening?  This 
looks like it, it's about this big, yeah, this must be it.  Whew, just 
in the nick of time.  Oh boy!  Damn!  This isn't the place.  This is 
the bathroom, but it's theirs not mine.  Why do they make bath mats the 
same size as wee wee pads?  What do I say this time?  Sorry, mommy! 

Hey someone's coming in the door.  Quick, back to my house.  One can't
be too careful.  I wonder who he is?  I wonder if he likes dogs? He saw 
me; I guess I'll find out.  They call him by two names, daddy and Rudy. 
 That makes no sense.  Which one do I use?  Good idea.  Mommy has me 
and is helping me get acquainted with daddy.  Hey, he's nice too.  Oh, 
I like how he feels.  I can tell he loves me already.  That didn't take 
long, he was easy.  I guess he can stay. 

Boy this is my lucky day.  I wish Tiffany could be here.  She would love
my new home.  I miss her so much.  I hope she is safe and warm.  If she 
gets a new family I hope they will love her as much as mine loves me.  
I'm gonna stay here forever. 

Wow, this really is great; I'm on the couch with daddy (I like that
better than Rudy), watching TV.  Hey, where's everyone going?  
Goodnight?  What does that mean?  Just when I was getting relaxed.  Do 
I have too get into that cage?  Why can't I get into bed with you guys? 
 I don't think this is a good idea.  In case anybody cares, I'm scared. 
 I guess they didn't hear me. Boy, it's quiet.  I'm not sleepy.  I want 
to play.  I know, I'll call them.  How do I do that?  This is great, 
it's dark, there's noises I don't like, and I have to pee again. 

Maybe if I cry as loud as I can, someone will come for me.  I'll try. 
Nope, no good.  Not loud enough, I hardly heard it myself.  You know 
what, I have no voice.  I better work on this real quick.  Yelp, cry, 
bark.  That's better.  Hey, not bad.  Now make it sound scared.  Good.  
Hey, here comes someone. It's daddy!  He looks half asleep.  Maybe I 
should have toughed it out?  Nope, everything's ok.  He's got me in his 
arms and is taking me inside. 

This really is the greatest day of my life.  I really feel safe now,
lying next to mommy and daddy.  Aaah, nice and warm, what could be 
better.  I know what could be better, remembering to pee before you go 
to bed.  I'm not gonna mess this up.  I'll have to hold it, I can do 
it! 

The next few months were lots of fun.  Starting with Christmas.  My
first Christmas!  Mommy and daddy were putting this stuff all around 
the house.  They called them decorations.  There was stuff on the 
fireplace, on the windows and this big tree in the den.  Aren't trees 
supposed to be outside?  Wow!  Look at that.  They put a great big 
ornament on the tree that says "Brandy's First Christmas".  I like 
trees!  When's Christmas anyway? 

Christmas morning was great.  Everyone was opening presents, even me.  I
got lots of new toys.  I got everything I wanted.  A giant hot dog, a 
giant cheeseburger, a giant soccer ball.  When your only 2 pounds and 
6" tall, everything's giant.  To be honest, I had the most fun eating 
the wrapping paper.  I guess I should tell you I had this problem 
eating bits of paper, tissues, lint or anything I found lying around.  
But, I grew out of that habit.  Mommy and daddy were so patient with 
me.  I don't know why, but they never yelled at me.  I know why, 
because they loved me. 

During my first winter, I figured out that I don't like the cold
weather.  I'm a warm weather kind of girl.  One day mommy and daddy 
decided to introduce me to this white cold stuff they called snow.  
Sitting in the foyer, looking out the glass door, this snow looked like 
it could be fun.  So, they dressed me up in my sweater.  Doggie 
sweaters are definitely not cool.  I remember thinking, boy; I hope the 
neighbors don't see me.  Ok, I'm ready.  Let's go.  I jumped into this 
big pile of snow.  At first it seemed ok.  All of a sudden it hit me.  
This stuff is freezing!  Get me outta here! 

By the time they got to me I was covered from head to tail with snow. 
It stuck to my hair (we Yorkies have hair, not fur) like snow to a wet 
mitten.  I had snow everywhere.  Even in places I couldn't reach.  I 
found out the hard way that doggie sweaters don't cover your belly.  
That makes no sense since my belly is the only part of me nature didn't 
cover with hair.  You know these weren't invented by dogs.  It must 
have taken hours to thaw me out.  Ok, minutes, I wasn't old enough to 
tell time.  They dried me off and after I stopped shivering, they gave 
me some yum yums.  Thinking back, it was worth it. 

Well, I made it through my first two seasons.  Now spring had arrived. 
It was getting warmer outside.  But, no matter how much I fussed, I 
couldn't convince mommy that I didn't need my sweater. She must have 
thought I liked sweaters cause by the end of that first winter; I must 
have had six of them.  I have to admit, one was pretty cool.  It was 
brown and beige and had a little hood and pom poms.  I know it looked 
good on me because other dogs would stare at me. 

My parents would take me everywhere with them.  I got to meet so many
people.  They would take me on rides and to the stores.  I loved 
shopping.  I was such a girl.  They would sit me in the shopping cart 
and take me all around the store.  Sometimes strangers would come up to 
me and try to pet me.  I would first look at daddy to see how I should 
act.  I knew he would never let anything bad happen to me.  So I let 
the people pet me.  They would say such nice things.  Compliment me on 
how well behaved I was.  I tried real hard to make mommy and daddy 
proud of me.  I knew they were. Spring turned into summer.  Summer was 
my favorite season.  We had a really nice deck and a great big pool in 
our back yard.  I would stay outside with daddy all day while he 
cleaned the pool or swept the leaves off the deck.  I used to chase the 
leaves and sometimes the butterflies. I would chase them until they 
stopped, then they chased me.  Careful, daddy would say when I would 
get too close to the pool.  Since I really wasn't crazy about baths, I 
had no desire to learn how to swim.  So I was very careful. 

Daddy liked to lie in the sun.  I would lie next to him, but he would
cover me so I wouldn't get too hot.  It was hot, but I wanted to be 
next to him, so it was just fine.  The other reason I loved summer so 
much was that's when daddy introduced me to fruit.  I know dogs aren't 
supposed to like fruit, but no one told me that.  Daddy would eat fresh 
strawberries every morning.  Every morning I would look up at him and 
wonder if I could have some.  He always knew what I wanted. So he gave 
me a piece of strawberry.  I loved it.  Can I have more, daddy?  He 
always said yes.  I went on to taste all kinds of fruit.  Each morning 
we would share strawberries, blueberries, and cantaloupe, even 
grapefruit.  Grapefruit was pretty sour, but I ate it anyway, just to 
be like daddy. 

We shared so many experiences, my family and me.  They taught me so
much.  Come to think of it, they taught me everything I knew.  My next 
big experience was my birthday.  When October 17th rolled around, I 
woke up that day and there were balloons, presents and special treats.  
Everyone said "Happy Birthday"!  Birthdays are special, there just for 
you.  You get to eat a lot of people food, watch TV and stay up late.  
I also had my first bellyache.  Too many birthday treats.  I ate so 
much, I threw up.  That sounds bad, but dogs have no problem with this. 
 In fact, we can start eating all over again. Anyway, birthdays are 
cool. 

Little by little I was becoming a big girl.  After my first year I
weighed almost three pounds.  I outgrew my appetite for dust and lint.  
I figured out that with all that good stuff to eat, why fill up on junk 
food.  I would sit right next to daddy every night at dinnertime.  I 
would eat before he got home.  He would always sneak me some of his 
food. Even if I weren't hungry, I would share with him because he loved 
that.  I could tell.  You know what was really cool.  Sometimes I would 
share my food with daddy.  No kidding!  He would taste my treats.  He 
said he wanted to know what I liked.  Sometimes I worried about him.  
His favorite was people crackers.  He liked them so much; I pretended 
they were my favorite too. 

Daddy loved to take pictures of me.  Mommy sent a picture of me to a
puppy calendar place.  They liked me so much they put my picture in the 
New Millennium Puppy Calendar.  Yep!  I'm May 10th, 2000.  I have to 
admit; I kinda liked picture time.  Except for the part of dressing me 
up.  I liked Mother Nature's outfit just fine.  Speaking of Mother 
Nature's outfit. Mommy decided to take me to be groomed.  What was 
that, I wondered? 

Just when I was getting use to my weekly baths in the kitchen sink. I
have this new experience.  So, we go to the groomer.   Mommy dropped me 
off, and left.  Do you believe this?  What was I to think?  Was she 
coming back for me?  Did I do something wrong?  Was this some kind of 
punishment?  I asked all these questions but no one here paid any 
attention to me.  First they gave me a bath.  They weren't as patient 
as daddy.  Then the worst thing happened.  They had this giant noisy 
buzzing thing that cut off most of my hair.  This was horrible.  In 
thirty seconds I was naked. Or at least it felt that way.  They put 
perfume on me and this silly bow on my head.  I prayed I wouldn't bump 
into someone I knew.  Am I gonna give mommy a piece of my mind when I 
get home. 

Mommy picked me up and I didn't look at her all the way home.  I was
mad.  I went right to my bed when I got home.  After a little while I 
got up and waited by the door, as I did every night.  Daddy would be 
home any minute.  Wait till he sees what they did to me.  Wait till I 
tell him how scared I was.  Daddy's home!  Well this is not what I 
expected.  He loved my haircut.  He picked me up and kissed me and 
tickled me.  He took me over to the mirror and said, "Look at Brandy"!  
You know what.  I kinda liked it.  I guess it grew on me.  Anyway, now 
I could stay out in the sun longer with daddy. 

The months passed by and each week brought a new experience.  Mommy and
daddy taught me so much.  They taught me how to chase after my favorite 
yellow ball.  They taught me how to play hide and seek.  They would 
include me in everything.  Each night I would sit next to daddy and we 
would watch TV.  Mommy and daddy would have coffee.  Daddy would give 
me two milk bones and right before bed, he would give me two raisins.  
I loved raisins.  Daddy would share most everything with me, except 
chocolate.  Chocolate is not good for dogs. 

Life was great.  I couldn't be happier.  I loved where I lived, my mommy
and daddy and Denise.  I loved going for walks down the block.  
Sleeping on my deck.  Mommy even got me my own baby carriage.  They 
would laugh so hard when I poked my head out of the carriage.  Maybe it 
was silly, but I loved seeing them laugh.  I was so happy; I wanted 
them to be happy too.  I felt safe.  I felt loved.  I felt special. 

I remember, one August day I woke up and didn't feel quite right. 
What's the big deal, I thought.  Every day can't be perfect.  Maybe it 
was the weather.  I'll shake this off.  What I need is a good 
breakfast.  Hmmm!  Breakfast doesn't taste the same.  Hey mommy!  Did 
you change my brand of food?  Of course she didn't answer me.  I'll eat 
it anyway.  Maybe my taster is off. 

I began to realize other things were different.  My toys tasted funny,
and smelled different.  Suddenly everything seemed different.  We 
doggies rely on our taste and smell like humans rely on their sight.  
Gee, I also feel a little shaky.  Maybe I should sleep some more.  I'll 
take a nap.  That'll straighten me right out.  After a few days I felt 
better.  I wonder what that was?  Oh well, maybe its growing pains. As 
the months passed, I had some strange feelings.  I would get dizzy and 
even would accidentally run into things.  I had a pain in my right ear 
and daddy would try to help me by cleaning it.  Mommy and daddy took me 
to my doctor.  Dr. Garretson.  Even though I didn't like going to the 
doctor, I liked Dr. Garretson.  He was a big man but so kind and 
gentle.  I knew he would fix me right up.  If I knew I was going to get 
a shot in my hiney, I would have refused to go.  But too late.   The 
shot fixed me up.  I was back on track.  My appetite came back and I 
was walking straight again.  I guess I had a little bug or something. 

Right after the holidays I felt sick again.  This time it was worse.  I
was really dizzy and had trouble with my balance.  Playing was not fun 
any more.  The worst part was the worried look on daddy's face.  Don't 
worry daddy, I'll bounce back. 

On a cold snowy day mommy and daddy took me back to Dr. Garretson.  He
examined me and said I should see a specialist.  He said I might have 
an infection in my ear making me sick.  Mommy and daddy took me right 
there.  The new doctor was nice.  He was talking to mommy and daddy and 
said I needed some tests.  He called it a cat scan.  Does he know I'm a 
dog?  Why not a dog scan?    Oh well, it's up to mommy and daddy.  I 
had to stay overnight.  That stunk.  I got scared when I watched daddy 
leave.  Couldn't he stay with me?  Please. 

Mommy and daddy picked me up the next day.  The doctor was saying I
might need an operation because I had something wrong in my head.  He 
wanted me to stay in the hospital then.  But, mommy and daddy took me 
home.  They were real quiet all the way home.  I was exhausted.  I 
couldn't wait to get into my bed.  Hey, all I need is some rest.  I 
don't need an operation.  I'll just take the pills the doctor gave me.  
You'll see, I'll be just fine.  Promise! 

I had to take two pills three times a day.  Boy, did I hate that.  In
the beginning it was kinda fun.  Daddy would give them to me.  He would 
coax me to open my mouth.  It would be funny because he thought I 
swallowed them.  Sometimes I would hide them under my tongue.  When he 
would go to work, I would spit them out.  Mommy would find them in my 
bed.  I didn't get away with that for too long. 

One day early in the morning mommy and daddy packed me up with my stuff
and took me to a very special hospital in Pennsylvania.  It was the 
University of Pennsylvania Veterinary Hospital, in Philadelphia.  It 
was a long ride.  I loved to ride in the car.  I loved to look out the 
window at the sky.  I met two really nice doctors.  A lady and a man 
doctor.  They examined me.  They were nice to me.  I could tell they 
loved dogs. 

I had to stay overnight again.  This time they gave me an M.R.I.  I
don't know what that was like because I was asleep.  But I had to get a 
needle in my arm and that hurt.  I remember I was so excited when mommy 
and daddy came the next day to get me. The nice doctors carried me all 
around the hospital and introduced me to everybody.  They were very 
kind.  They said I had to take my pills for a little while more.   We 
went home. 

The pills seemed to work for a long time.  But I still didn't get back
all my energy.  Things also didn't taste the same as before, or smell 
the same as before.  Mommy and daddy treated me extra special.  One 
thing was for sure; these pills gave me some appetite.  I even gained 
1-quarter pound.  I was up to 4-3/4 pounds.  Mommy called me chubby.  
Oh yeah, I also had to pee al lot.  Even though I didn't feel right, I 
always hit my target. 

Things were ok for most of that year.  Then around Christmas of 1999 I
didn't feel good.  I had a hard time keeping my balance.  I slept a 
lot.  I didn't play a lot.  Daddy was afraid I would hurt myself.  You 
see, I was bumping into everything.  I would get confused.  Sometimes I 
would get lost inside my house.  Once I even got stuck behind the 
couch.  I had to be careful.  I felt scared.  I also felt sorry for 
mommy and daddy.  They would worry about me so much.  I tried so hard 
to be well, but couldn't.  I didn't know what was happening. 

Mommy and daddy increased my medicine.  That didn't help.  It made me
sicker.  Daddy told mommy that I would say when I had enough of those 
pills.  I did.  I wouldn't open my mouth. Daddy understood.  He didn't 
force me.  With my eyes, I told daddy it was ok.  Little by little, 
each day I grew a little weaker.  It was winter.  I wish it were warm 
outside.  I would love to sit on the deck like we used to.  Or, go for 
a ride down to watch the boats by the water. 

Suddenly, everything hurt.  I could hardly walk.  I couldn't eat or
drink.  I didn't know what to do.  When daddy came home, he tried to 
get me to eat.  He gave me pieces of my favorite, Boars Head honey 
roasted turkey.  I forced it down.  I ate it just for him.  He was so 
sad.  I couldn't stand up.  I was crying.  Please help me daddy, I 
thought.  Daddy, I think it's time.  Time to go. 

I woke up the next morning.  It was snowing.  Daddy, mommy and Denise
were already up.  Their eyes were wet.  Daddy held me all morning.  I 
heard someone at the door.  I couldn't lift up my head to see who was 
there.  Hi, Brandy said Dr. Garretson.  He came to visit me with his 
assistant.  My doctor examined me and looked at daddy.  No words were 
spoken. 

Daddy took me aside.  He walked me over to the sliding glass door that
looked out onto the deck.  We watched the snow fall.  Daddy explained 
that I was really sick and he was going to send on one last trip.  He 
went on to say he was going to send me to a place where the sun was 
always shining, where I would have lots of new friends and there would 
never be any more pain or fear.  He said I would even get to meet his 
mommy and daddy, and that they would take care of me.  He promised me 
one day we would be together again.  I knew what he meant.  I wish he 
could go with me.  I never saw daddy so upset.  I wish I could have 
told him it wasn't his fault and that he was doing the right thing.  I 
needed him to be strong.  I needed him to love me that much.  I needed 
him to let me go. 

Daddy stayed with me and held me tight right to the end.  We looked into
each other's eyes.  I wish I could have kissed him one more time.  I 
wish I could have told him I understand.  I wish I could have thanked 
him.  I love you daddy!  I just fell asleep.  In just a moment I woke 
up in a most wonderful place.  Daddy promised it would be beautiful.  
He was right.  It is! 

On January 25th, 2000 we had Brandy euthanized.  She had incurable
inflammatory brain disease and hydrocephalus.  Not an uncommon disease 
among small breeds.  It was the worst day of my life.     Part of me 
left with Brandy on that cold snowy morning.  As painful as it was, I 
believe it was our only choice.  Her doctor was so kind to come to our 
house that morning, in a snowstorm.  Brandy's life ended with her 
looking at me, holding her in my arms, every moment.  Thinking back on 
that morning, it was my love for her that gave me the strength to end 
her suffering.  I owed her that much. 

So I could be with her every day, I have Brandy's remains in an urn on
my desk.  On top of her urn is her small gray squeaky shark, the one we 
would play with every day.  Next to the shark is one of her favorite 
yum yums.  Inscribed on her urn is a rose.  How fitting.  Brandy was a 
remarkable little dog.  She was  my special friend.  She was part of 
me.  I will miss her always.  I love you Brandy! 


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