Relationships and Commitment (standard:Editorials, 1288 words)
Author: GXD	Added: Dec 17 2010	Views/Reads: 3605/2314	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
The tradition of commitment has served humanity for millenia, but it's not cut out for a fast-changing twenty-first century, like now and tomorrow. Think about it.

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one place, maximizing food production by cultivating gardens every day 
(chores), expressing their loyalty to a community or belief system 
through rituals, like  communion, serving in the military, or playing a 
role in "government".  When writing became common, and records of 
property were kept, these provided the structure for "commitment" in a 
marriage. This has not changed over time, like the real world of 
feelings. 

I speak of commitment as an instrument, because it served Kings well.
Commitment in marriage meant you had something to lose and would be 
willing to fight for it (patriotism).  It meant you would be completely 
responsible for the upbringing and conduct of your offspring, 
regardless of your capacity to do so, and despite how external changes 
affect you emotionally.  It meant you would be in one place, and could 
pay your taxes.  As an instrument that can be taught in church and 
school, "commitment" is control,which serves the purposes of 
leadership, from the Crusades to Vietnam and beyond.  It means 
conservative, unchanging loyalty to an obligation -- which is taken 
happily at the beginning of relationship and bonding, and which becomes 
a strangling restriction on individual growth as the world moves 
onward, over a long lifetime. 

F. I came to see that the organic and natural formation of relationships
for a time (short or long) is as much a human characteristic as it is a 
property of animals or insects.  I also saw how fidelity to a 
commitment in the face of perpetual change -- change that demands 
adaptation if the individual is to survive-- is a powerful, 
human-created tool that is at the root of all dis-ease and conflict.  
Emotional bonding to a fixed commitment like marriage is in direct 
conflict with the changing nature of the naturally-bonded relationship. 


A time comes when each individual has grown to the point where moving on
to new relationships is the optimum choice -- but  "commitment" 
interferes with this.  As strains arise between what each individual 
truly longs for and what each individual feels constrained to adhere 
to, more and more energy gets poured into attending to this conflict -- 
and less and less energy is available to share with a world community.  
Anger erupts from frustration, as with Pavlov's dogs trying to decide 
between square and round apertures – one with food, the other with an 
electric shock.  Animals and people go crazy, like Hitler, Stalin, 
suicide bombers and other brutish terrorists. 

We cannot afford to continue this path into the 21st century because it
leads to extinction. 

G. Our world now has a goodly collection of wise people from many
cultures and many facets of experience.  One day perhaps,  you may want 
to bring  up the issue I have discussed here. Understanding this issue 
(freedom from  obligation and commitment = freedom of individual choice 
and destiny), is essential for designing future values in relationships 
between and among people.  It is now the most compelling issue of our 
time.  Furthermore, it opens an opportunity for thinking/feeling people 
to gain insight for themselves about forces that influence their lives. 
 Statistically, on a global scale, it has the potential to provide 
enough love to go round.   That's something Christianity has tried to 
do for many centuries, with limited success. 

What to do? 

Your mission -- should you choose to accept it -- is that of "NODE" in a
world of minds and hearts -- electronically networked and available to 
address issues of this nature.  Global mind-working and brainstorming 
-- through dialog, film, Jazz, bubble-blowing, whatever --  needs  
"receivers" like you, to judiciously evaluate the enigma of 
“commitment” for worthy people.  This is the moment to lay new 
infrastructure for tomorrow's social contracts. 

Upload your insights to key people and encourage them to divulge their
own views.  Make it all easy to find on the electronic table -- 
hopefully with some publisher keeping a careful eye on what is 
happening -- and do your best to encourage the enlightened shaping of 
an intentional future. 

Seattle, December 19, 1997 - Gerald X. Diamond - All rights reserved


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