SKYTREK - CHAPTER 8 (standard:humor, 3820 words) [8/15] show all parts
Author: Danny Miami	Added: May 19 2010	Views/Reads: 2283/1638	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Chapter 8 of the comedy.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story


The mist solidified and Zall took shape – a four foot high, semi-human
creature with a shock of black hair and an expression of permanent 
surprise on his face. 

He watched Silas with interest then grinned maliciously. He picked up
one of the candles, crept forward and set the bottom of his robe on 
fire then retired to a corner to watch the fun. 

Just then the door opened and Stella, the long suffering wife of Silas,
came in. She was a small fat woman and was wearing a scruffy black 
robe. Her hair was greying and her once semi-attractive face was now 
lined and wrinkled. 

“Hilda!” she was shouting as she came in. “Cooee, Hilda!...You useless
bastard!” she yelled, seeing the flames. 

She rushed back out and returned moments later with a bucket of water
which she threw over Silas and the flames. 

“You useless prat!” she screeched. “What the hell happened?!” 

“Something must have gone wrong during the spell,” muttered a puzzled,
smoking Silas, brushing at his still smouldering sleeves. 

“Gone wrong!?” scoffed Stella. “When does it ever go right? Call
yourself a Sorcerer – you couldn't disappear up your own arse!” 

“Yes dear,” muttered Silas, hauling himself to his feet and replacing
his peaked cap. 

“Oh my curtains!” moaned Stella and rushed over to examine them. “Look
at the state these are in and we haven't even paid for them yet. When 
are you going to get a proper job?” she nagged. “I'm fed up with all 
this scrimping and saving. I can't remember the last time I had a 
decent holiday. The Korabs are off to Mars again and what do I get? 
Stuck in this bloody cesspit with you!” 

A strange looking animal wandered in through the open door. It resembled
a cow but was thinner and had black and white horizontal stripes. 

“And look at that!” Stella ranted on, throwing the bucket at it. “I
asked you to invoke a cow and what do I get? That thing! Call that a 
cow? It's the only milk I've ever seen with black and white stripes in 
it!” 

“Oh we all make mistakes,” Silas said lamely. 

“Yeah but you make them all the bloody time!” screeched Stella. 

“Well what about him?” Silas asked, nodding at a crib in the opposite
corner of the room. 

In the crib a jet black baby gurgled away happily to itself. 

“Oh that!” muttered Stella, wringing her hands uncomfortably.
“Well...you were away.” 

From his hiding place behind the open door Zall continued to peep out
now and then, waiting for the right moment so he could create more 
havoc. 

“What the hell's this you've been scrawling on the floor?” Stella went
on, glancing at the large six-pointed star. Then she caught sight of 
the dead black rat. “Aw Hilda!” she wailed, picking it up. “Aw she's 
dead! The best friend I ever had and she's dead!” She glared at Silas. 
“Was it you!?” she screeched. “Did you kill her!?” 

“It wasn't me, dear,” Silas said quickly, shaking his head vigorously
and trying to look innocent. “First I've seen it.” 

“If I find out it was you,” Stella ranted, waving Hilda in his face,
“there won't be any nooky for you this year.” 

Silas shrugged resignedly. “Be a bit like last year then won't it?” he
muttered. 

“Did you say something?” Stella asked, looking suspiciously at him. 

“No dear,” Silas replied. “I was just clearing my throat.” 

Behind them, Zall crept forward and groped Stella's lumpy rear. She
screamed, whirled round and smacked him across the head with Hilda. 
Zall recoiled then changed back into a mist and floated away out the 
door. 

Stella turned back to Silas. “Wipe that bloody smile off your face,” she
snapped. “I suppose that was another one of your spells. Well get rid 
of it. The place is bad enough without that pervert hanging around.” 

Before Silas had a chance to reply there was a thumping on the ceiling. 

“Oh that'll be Mother wanting her supper,” Stella moaned, glancing
upwards. “I don't know, it's just work, work, work round here all the 
time.” An idea occurred to her and she looked at Hilda then back up at 
the ceiling. “Wonder if Mother likes stew?” she muttered to herself. 

PART TWO 

“It's all right for you,” panted Giraffe, “you can just drift along.
With my little legs I have to run to keep up.” 

“Come on,” rasped Kharg, “we're almost there.” Reaching into his robe he
withdrew a small directional scanner. He flicked it on and checked the 
numbers under the red arrow. “The co-ordinates from the Krystals lead 
to somewhere in there,” he rasped, pointing at a dilapidated cottage a 
short distance across a field. “Let's go.” 

Kharg and Giraffe had followed the co-ordinates from the Krystals across
space and had landed on a quiet area of Clumzy an hour ago. Kharg was 
now about to seek out the next clue in his quest for the mysterious 
substance which would allow him to destroy Earth and rule the Universe. 


Followed by a puffing Giraffe, Kharg drifted across the grassy field and
up the winding path to the cottage. As Giraffe leaned gratefully 
against the wall and caught his breath, Kharg rapped on the door. 

A harassed Stella answered. She took one look at Kharg with his domed
hairless head, glittering yellow eyes and long flowing dark blue robe 
then turned away. “It's some weirdo for you, Silas!” she yelled. 

Still brushing at the burned patches on his robe, Silas came to the
door. “Evening gents,” he said, smiling. “What can I do for you?” 

“I wonder if you might have a room to rent?” rasped Kharg. 

Silas shook his head. “Sorry, we're a bit crowded in here as it is,” he
said apologetically. 

“I'll pay well,” Kharg told him. 

“Show the gentleman in!” yelled Stella. 

Silas shrugged and held the door open for Kharg and Giraffe. 

“How long d'you want it for?” asked Stella. “Course we'll have to charge
you double if your son's staying,” she added, seeing Giraffe. 

Giraffe glared at her from under his top hat. 

“I have some business to attend to in this area,” rasped Kharg. “We
would be here perhaps for a few days.” 

“All right. I'm just going up,” Stella said. “I'll show you the room.”
She placed a bowl of steaming, dark brown liquid on a tray and shoved 
the tray into Kharg's hands. “Take that for me, will you?” she said, 
removing a rat's tail from the bowl. “I'm just taking Mother her 
supper.” 

Kharg glanced in irritation at the tray then he and Giraffe reluctantly
followed her up some rickety stairs and along a short dingy passage. 

“In here,” she said, opening the door. 

Propped up in a large double bed in the centre of the room was an
ancient crone – Stella's mother. She was wearing a floppy nightcap and 
a voluminous flannel nightgown. As soon as she saw them she lifted a 
huge brass ear trumpet to her head. 

“Is he the doctor?” she asked, seeing Kharg. “What? What?” 

“No it isn't the doctor!” Stella shouted to her. “It's the new lodger
and his son.” 

“The doctor's lodging with us?” her mother asked. “Hasn't he got a place
of his own?” 

Kharg drifted over and set the tray down on the bed. 

“It's me bowels,” Stella's mother told him, grabbing his arm. “They've
been bunged up for weeks.” 

Kharg's face wrinkled in disgust and Giraffe sniggered in the
background. 

“Eat your supper,” Stella told her. “It's a nice stew.” 

“Eh? What?” her mother asked, moving the ear trumpet round to try and
catch what was said. 

“Eat your stew!” Stella shouted into it. 

“I have not!” her mother replied indignantly. “Me hot water bottle
burst.” 

“Oh shut up,” Stella told her. 

“Eh? Eh? What?” 

“Ignore her,” Stella said to Kharg. “Well, d'you like the room?” 

“I haven't seen it yet,” rasped Kharg in irritation. 

“This is it,” explained Stella. “You don't mind sleeping with Mother, do
you? She won't bother you...you know. Not at her age.” 

“I need something on the ground floor,” hissed Kharg. 

“This is all there is!” Stella snapped. “The only other room downstairs
is mine and Silas's. Been there thirty years we have and we're not 
moving for you or anybody else.” 

Kharg reached into his robe and brought out a diamond. He held it up and
it sparkled brilliantly in the candlelight. “I want a room on the 
ground floor,” he repeated. “Would this cover it?” 

“Any luggage!?” Stella asked, grabbing the diamond. “Want to move in
right away!? Give me ten minutes to move our stuff!!” 

PART THREE 

“Clear away this rubbish,” Kharg rasped to Giraffe, indicating some
cheap furniture. “Somewhere below us lies the next clue.” 

After Stella had removed her few meagre possessions, Kharg had brought
out his direction scanner and re-checked the reading. A red square was 
displayed continually and the figure below it was zero, indicating he 
was on the exact spot that the co-ordinates from the dissolved Krystals 
had given on Dulcodaz. 

Giraffe removed his jacket and top hat and laid them on the bed. He
moved aside a rickety table and two chairs and cleared the straw away 
from the floor. Beneath the straw a layer of dust had gathered and he 
got down on his hands and knees to brush it away with a rag he'd found. 


As he worked his way across the floor he uncovered part of a strange
looking diagram which had been carved into one of the floor's stone 
squares. At Kharg's insistence he concentrated on it, cleaning away the 
thick dust which had gathered in the lines of the carving. 

When he'd finished Kharg drifted over and removed Captain Kork's Pendant
from under his robe and compared it with the elaborate diagram on the 
floor. 

“They match exactly!” he hissed, his yellow eyes glittering. “This must
be the spot! Stand back!” 

Before he could do anything further the door opened and Silas came in.
“Cocoa!” he announced, grinning and setting down a tray. He caught 
sight of the carving on the floor and whistled in admiration, thinking 
Kharg had drawn it. “Oh you're doing a spell are you?” he asked. 
“Thought you were a fellow Sorcerer when I first saw you. Mind if I 
watch?” 

Kharg groaned in exasperation and shook his head. “Stay well back,” he
rasped. 

Silas and Giraffe took their cocoa over to the bed and sat down. Kharg
drifted back from the centre of the room, closed his eyes and extended 
his fingers. 

“Great!” said Giraffe. “The floor show!” 

As they watched, several long blue lines shot out from the tips of
Kharg's fingers and fastened themselves onto the points of the carving. 
Kharg opened his eyes then slowly raised his hands and with a grating 
noise, the stone block began to lift. 

When it was clear of the floor he moved his hands to the right, shifting
the block and setting it down. He flicked his fingers and the blue 
lines vanished. 

There was now a gaping hole in the floor and the three of them stared at
it expectantly. For a few moments nothing happened then a dull glow 
began to emanate from the hole accompanied by a mild wind which licked 
its way round the room. 

The dull glow gradually became brighter and brighter until it was a
shimmering blinding white and they had to shield their eyes, peering at 
it through their fingers. 

At the same time the wind increased in strength, hissing and howling,
ripping the curtains from the window, smashing the rickety table 
against the wall and throwing Silas and Giraffe backwards across the 
bed. 

Kharg held his ground, staring at the blinding light through narrowed
slits as the wind whipped his robe around him. 

Then from out of the hole a large golden Sphere slowly floated up and
hung in the air. When it stopped moving, the blinding light died away 
and the screaming wind gathered itself into a column and disappeared 
into the hole. 

Silas and Giraffe crawled back over the bed and stared at the Sphere. It
was still hanging motionless and the glow from it lit up the room in a 
warm golden light. 

“The second clue in the legend!” hissed Kharg triumphantly. “It will
lead me to the Black Hole and guide me through it!” 

He reached out and stroked the Sphere lovingly. As his long tapering
fingers were caressing it, a mist floated in under the door and Zall, 
the mischievous Spirit, appeared. 

He saw the Sphere, liked the look of it, grabbed it and crashed out the
window. 

“The Sphere!” rasped Kharg. 

“The window!” wailed Silas. 

“The special effects!” said Giraffe. 

Outside, Zall raced away from the cottage with the Sphere and half-way
across the broad grassy field he dropped it and started kicking it 
around like a football, squeaking happily to himself. 

He ran along the grass tapping the Sphere in front of him and swerved
past a bush then awarded himself a free kick when one of the opposing 
team, a large rock, tripped him. 

The free quick was quickly taken and Zall passed the Sphere to himself.
He raced down the wing, easily beating a couple of fence posts and the 
crowd leapt to their feet, roaring. 

There was only half a minute to go in this no-scoring Cup Final as Zall
began weaving his way towards goal. Only two defenders remained between 
him and glory. 

He ran at the first defender, a mound of earth and sold it a beautiful
dummy. The crowd roared him on as he approached the centre back, a 
large boulder. Zall sent the Sphere one way round it and nipped round 
the other. 

The crowd were screaming. Zall collected the Sphere and without breaking
his stride sent a crashing shot towards goal. The Sphere flew past the 
outstretched arms of the goalkeeper, a small tree and smacked into the 
back of the net. 

The crowd erupted and Zall ran over to salute them, arms in the air,
squeaking with joy. Which is when General Draygo casually stepped out 
from the edge of the forest and squeezed off a burst from his stun gun. 


Zall dropped in mid-squeak. From Cup Final winning goal scorer to
unconscious Spirit inside a second. Such are the caprices of Fate! 

Draygo strolled over and picked up the Sphere and examined it. “So this
is what Kharg was after?” he muttered. “Why?” 

The Mother Ship had followed Kharg across space and the General had
beamed down to Clumzy just after him with a few troops. They had 
shadowed him to the cottage and waited to see what he was up to and now 
their patience had been rewarded. 

Draygo took out a small hand scanner and ran it over the Sphere but
nothing special showed up. Wondering if there was anything inside, he 
was about to smash it against a rock when it shot out of his hand and 
flew into the air. 

One of his warriors raised his laser rifle and sighted on it but the
General quickly knocked his weapon aside. 

“Don't fire!” he barked. “I want to see what it does.” 

As they watched, the Sphere floated along parallel to the ground then it
gathered speed and shot diagonally into the sky, zooming higher and 
higher till they lost sight of it. 

Draygo took out his Transceiver, flicked it open and contacted the
Mother Ship. “There's a golden Sphere heading up from the planet,” he 
told his First Officer. “See if you can pick it up on one of the 
scanners.” 

Moments later the First Officer reported back. “We've got it, General,”
he said. 

Draygo's face creased into an ugly grin. “Where's it heading?” he asked.
“On its present course, somewhere out into space. It's just leaving the 
planet's atmosphere...now!” 

“Beam us back and get the ship ready to move,” ordered Draygo. “We're
going to follow it.” 

PART FOUR 

Shortly after the Klingers left, Zall came to. Groggily he sat up and
looked round. The crowd were gone, the Sphere was gone and there was no 
sign of the Cup after he'd scored the winning goal. Dejected, he 
trudged back to the dressing-room – Silas's cottage. 

Kharg, who had been taken completely by surprise when Zall had stolen
the Sphere, was just on the point of leaving with Giraffe to look for 
him when a mist drifted in under the door and he solidified. 

He walked over to Silas and started jabbering away to him in a language
only he seemed to understand. 

“Where is the Sphere!?” hissed Kharg, his yellow eyes flashing. 

Zall jabbered away and Silas translated. “Somebody took it,” he told
Kharg. 

“Who?” 

Silas asked Zall and he was about to relay the answer when a crafty
smile crossed his face. “What's in it for me?” he asked Kharg. 

“What do you mean?” Kharg rasped impatiently. 

Silas tapped the side of his nose. “I do something for you – you do
something for me,” he said, grinning. 

Kharg shook his head. “Anything you wish,” he rasped. 

Silas's eyes lit up. “Anything!?” he asked. 

“Anything,” agreed Kharg. 

Silas strolled over and whispered a couple of things into his ear. Kharg
nodded and Silas grinned and gave Zall the ‘thumbs up'. 

“Now who took the Sphere?” Kharg rasped. 

“Some strange looking men,” Silas told him. 

“Describe them.” 

Silas listened as Zall jabbered away to him. “Long black hair, black
leather uniforms, really ugly,” he told Kharg. 

“Klingers!” hissed Kharg. “The Klingers have the Sphere. Where did they
go?” 

Hazarding a guess Silas raised a finger to the heavens. 

“Space!” rasped Kharg. “They must be following the Sphere! Come Giraffe,
we must get after them!” 

“Hold on! Hold on!” said Silas. “What about our bargains?” 

“Oh all right,” rasped Kharg. 

Silas grinned and waited expectantly, rubbing his hands together. 

Kharg sighed wearily then pointed a finger at Zall. There was a blue
flash then a silver football Cup appeared in his hands. Zall squeaked 
with joy and held the Cup aloft then paraded triumphantly round the 
room with it. 

“Hurry if you wish the second part of your bargain,” Kharg told Silas. 

Silas nodded and trotted over to the door. He opened it and cupped a
hand to his mouth. “Oh Stella!” he shouted. “Stella my love!” 

Moments later Stella appeared. “What the bleedin hell d'you want?” she
asked, coming into the room. “My floor!” she yelled, seeing the gaping 
hole. “Look at the state of my floor! And my window!” she screeched, 
seeing the torn curtains and broken glass. “Who did it!? Who did it!? 
Were you doing one of your spells again!?” she yelled at Silas. 

Kharg raised both hands towards her and she was instantly engulfed in a
glowing purple mist. When it cleared a few moments later Stella was 
gone and had been replaced by a scantily clad blonde. 

She turned to Silas. “Oh Master,” she purred. “Master, I am yours to
command.” 

Silas grinned and rubbed his hands together again. 

“Come Giraffe,” rasped Kharg as he drifted off. “We must go.” 

Giraffe put on his jacket and top hat then wagged a finger at Silas.
“You saucy Sorcerer!” he said, grinning at him then he turned and 
trotted after the Boss. 


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