Uncle Melvin (standard:humor, 2757 words)
Author: stanley mcqueen kentucky backwoods writer	Added: May 10 2009	Views/Reads: 2854/1964	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Back woods tales of old days and times passed

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only means we have making and honest dollar , and  Melvin has been 
trying to talk paw into making corn whiskey at least maw suspect this 
and has mention it to me several times. Maw just had a bad opinion of 
Melvin paw always told me and Red, paw name me Arvin because it had the 
sound like Melvin and that always bothered maw she just didn't like 
Melvin because of his ways of doing things, and being a lazy kind of 
man that always had some kind of aliment explaining why he is not able 
to hoe corn, or help in our crops which he is here visiting. Little Red 
name was  named Clovis he was the lucky one not being name after uncle 
Melvin, paw name was Frank and mammy is called Sara they were the first 
Bishop to settle here from Virginia back before me and  Clovis was 
hatched out,  what got me about paw he just couldn't see no wrong in 
Melvin , he took up for him on ever direction and that made Maw so mad 
at paw because he would never agree with her on the topic of Melvin, it 
come Friday and paw and Melvin was setting under the oak that evening 
when a Turner come riding by our shack and he sees Melvin and paw under 
the tree setting in the shade , and instead of going on by like a good 
neighbor should with just a howdy or something of a greeting , he hauls 
off and calls Melvin a flat nose son of a bitch, and Melvin come up 
from the straight back chair that he had carried off the porch stoop to 
set under the shade on and he picked up mammy chair and run and knocked 
the young Turner off his mule into the dusty hard road. Paw couldn't 
stop him from jumping on top of him and whamming him good about the 
face, Paw manages to get him off the young Turner and gets his back in 
his right mind, Melvin is mad and that Bishop temper was boiling over. 
Paw, paw grabs gets Melvin by the arm and pulls him away from the young 
Turner lad who now is dusting himself off, don't you know that you 
cannot go whopping up on young lads like that paw scorned him , and 
Melvin hollered  back at paw and said , he is big enough to call me a 
flat nosed son of a bitch he is big enough to take a whipping Melvin 
declared” The young Turner jump back on his mules and tells paw and 
Melvin that he is telling his Paw about being assaulted, and Paw warn 
him that if he does that will cause a feud between the Bishop and the 
Turners, then he called p aw a brother to a flat nosed son of a bitch 
and paw picked up a wagon road rock and threw it at the Young smart 
mouth Turner, as he speed away back toward the Turner homestead.. Now 
you have done it he tell Melvin you've started a war right here in our 
peaceful country side for sure he added” now see here my brother Fred I 
never ever called no man a son of a bitch and I be dogged!! If I going 
to be called one by a half grown Turner sprout” and let someone treat 
us Bishops with ill respect” it just isn't right he added”!! Well 
brother he is just a young man and young men might be a might more 
cocky than and older man paw explained to his mad brother, Melvin has 
been here now just three days and trouble has come to the hills, Paw 
and Melvin took their place under the giant oak again and it was no 
more than a half hour passed when, paw and Melvin  sees   coming down 
the wagon road the whole clan of  old man Turner boys and they was six 
of them and the oldest was twenty years old and paw and Melvin stand to 
their feet and approach the riders that now are stopped at the wagon 
road, old man turner is cradling a shot gun and his boys all have hand 
guns , old man Tuner motion for paw to come closer to him that he 
wanted a private talk with him, and paw asked Melvin to go to the porch 
stoop while him and old man Turner talk things over, Melvin minded  paw 
and paw went close to old man Tuner , 

Fred Turner me and you have always been good friends until that brother
of yours show up here on his summer visits to our county , and you know 
that this is a fact that I am declaring, and that stump that he claimed 
my boys rolled on your side of the land boundary just rolled down the 
slope, and  the boys never bothered to pull it back to our side of the 
land line is all that happen, you brother Melvin is a trouble maker and 
 I want him out of these parts before he starts and all out war old man 
Turner explains” well that be a fact about a war, but your boy their 
called him and open faced flat nosed son of a bitch, and that why he 
whipped up on that son of yours that is setting astraddle of that mule 
there' paw point at Denver Turner like old man Turner is not aware of 
his own son presents here in the road before our shack' well that was 
not right of my son and I am sorry that he did such a thing, Turner 
acknowledged “ well I will try and think of a way to get Melvin to go 
back to Taylor county , paw promises old man Turner, and the group 
reins their mules and turns them back toward their homestead, and now 
its” up to paw to get shed of his brother before real trouble erupts. 

Maw was right as rain about uncle Melvin he was a trouble maker and that
was a fact, and now it was not going to be easy to figure a way to get 
him to head back to Taylor county where the likes of him belongs, 
Melvin asked paw what old man Turner had said to him on their private 
discussion and paw 

Told Melvin to never mind what they talked about that the hatchet was
buried for now and that the Turners want no more trouble between us and 
them is all paw told his curious brother. Paw would have to come up 
with a way to shed Melvin from Muddy fork, before trouble brewed again 
with the Turners, Melvin is not such a bad sort of man but just a 
trouble maker is his worse vice, and they was just no way to heal a 
trouble maker Maw said he just cannot keep that nose out of other 
people business and a man like this could cause neighbors to fall out 
and kill one another over some lie that a trouble maker told. I had to 
agree with Maw about Melvin she never hated him just hated his trouble 
making ways, paw knew the truth about him but hated to hurt his feeling 
and  run his own flesh and  blood  off... it was the next evening at 
the supper table that paw popped the question, Melvin he said how much 
longer are you going to be visiting and staying around with us paw 
asked? Why Brother Melvin asked? Well I was figuring on getting you to 
help me clear about a acre of land down alongside the river, and I will 
pay you five dollars a day paw told him. Now brother you know I have a 
bad back and cannot work  hardly at all, he reminded paw” well I have a 
remedy for that paw snorted back, all I want you to do is  snake the 
logs we cut off the land with old mike my mule , that want be hard on 
your back paw tells him. I could tell Melvin was not at all liking the 
sound of any kind of labor whether it was work or just walking behind a 
mule pulling logs, well brother I better head back to Taylor county 
tomorrow and check on my shack those ridge runner Virginians may pack 
my few belonging off if I don't head back to home he tells paw” 

Well I hate you cannot stay and help us , but if you have to go I
understand paw tells him, paw is a smart man I am thinking and I knew 
paw had no plans on doing any clearing land down on our river track of 
land this was just paw easy way of getting rid of a trouble making 
brother, that next day Melvin spoke his goodbyes to us and paw and paw 
and I watch the trouble maker straddle his mule and ride away back 
toward Taylor county where the trouble maker calls his home, maw said:” 
well things will be ok till about this time next year, till we see that 
brother of yours coming striding back here for his yearly visit Paw 
cannot read or write nor figure numbers but I declare he is smart in 
common smarts as any man I ever knew , if Melvin was not such a 
troublemaker we would more likely hate to see the cloud of dust boiling 
up behind his mule as he leaves our shack, but that not the case maw 
says “once a trouble maker always a trouble maker , and I do trust my 
Maw judgment on things she is hardly ever wrong , things around the 
place is peaceful again and Melvin is back there in Taylor county  
making trouble in his own country , I often wonder how many killings he 
has cause there in Taylor county, maw said he is going to have a mess 
of trouble when he stands before the judgment bar of God, knowing God 
despises trouble makers like she does, and I do expect maw and God to 
be on the same sides concerning trouble makers.. THE END... 


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