Trusting a Subtle Lie (standard:Inspirational stories, 2281 words)
Author: Eutychus	Added: May 17 2008	Views/Reads: 3487/2079	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Life, death, regrets and new beginnings all explored at a high school reunion.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story


Leslie showed up midway through the meal. A longer than expected wait on
the tarmac in Denver had put her three hours behind schedule because it 
made her miss a connecting flight in Oklahoma City. 

“You look exhausted but good,” Kyle offered as he pulled out a chair at
their table. 

“I'll take whatever compliments I can get,” Leslie said nervously and
immediately engaged Maddie in conversation. 

Knowing that he would only be in the way, Kyle gestured to Maddie that
he would be mingling around the room for a while. 

As the initial parts of their discussion progressed into deeper levels
of thought, they relocated to the deck. Other than themselves, two 
couples and a group of three people had moved outside. 

While Maddie shared some details about her work for the church in
dealing with victims of domestic violence, somewhere in the parking lot 
a car door slammed. Leslie reacted as though the sound had come from a 
shotgun blast. Maddie coupled that fact with Leslie's discomfort around 
Kyle and presumed both reactions to be stemming from an old trauma. 
Such responses were typical of the women the church counseled and 
sheltered. 

“So, do you and Kyle have any kids?” 

“Just one.” 

“Boy or girl?” 

“We won't know until the next ultrasound, and even then it will depend
on how cooperative the baby is.” 

“Congratulations,” Leslie said and quickly turned away. 

Maddie prayed that instinctive one word prayer and touched Leslie's
shoulder. Even in the subdued lighting, the tears were obvious. “Hey, 
what's up?” 

“I kind of wanted to discuss something with you but I didn't want it to
come out quite like this. Would you believe that a girl who could carry 
a pro-life sign with the rest of the church on Right to Life Sunday 
could also allow herself to be pressured into having an abortion? Ten 
years ago I killed my son. I killed an innocent baby.” 

Maddie clearly remembered the beautiful, devout, loving girl Leslie had
been in school and church and contrasted that image with the woman 
before her tortured by guilt. What could she possibly say that would 
help? 

“I've confessed it a hundred times and feel no sense of forgiveness. I
can't get past this obsession over what I've done. And on top of that, 
I've given up talking to God about it. My heart can't take the 
silence.” 

Maddie wrapped her arms around Leslie and held her tight for a moment.
“I doubt I have the words you need to hear, but I can remind you of 
something. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately 
wicked.” 

“Do you think I don't know that? How do you suppose I ended up where I
am now?” 

“Yes, the accepted understanding for that verse from Jeremiah is your
heart will lead you away from God.  I'd like to offer you a secondary 
interpretation. If the heart is deceitful above all things, then it is 
as likely to tell us things that will keep us from getting back to 
where we know we should be as it is to get us off track in the first 
place. Perhaps your heart is keeping you from God by saying things that 
only seem true. By listening, aren't you honoring the sin that causes 
you such crippling guilt over and above the work Jesus did to lift that 
burden from you?” 

“I suppose that's true, but think about what I did. I took an innocent
life. How can I be forgiven for that?” 

A dangerous question popped into Maddie's head and she hesitated to ask.
But she'd been out on a limb before. 

“Which time, the first or second?” 

“What do you mean?” she asked with surprise and stepped back half a
pace. 

“Leslie, we've all participated in the death of an innocent. If killing
an innocent is the worst sin that your mind can imagine, know that you 
have done far worse than killing your unborn child. We all had a hand 
in killing the only one in whom there was no sin. Our sin drove Him to 
the cross. And if the cross reveals our worst sin, it also reveals that 
that sin has been forgiven. On the cross, Jesus absorbed the power of 
sin so that it might not have any authority over us. If God forgives 
the sin that sent His son to the cross, then there is nothing you can 
ever do that can't be forgiven.” 

“You really think so?” Leslie asked, looking more hopeful than Maddie
had yet seen her that evening. 

“I know so. Don't believe the lie that you are beyond forgiveness. I
realize it can be an easy lie to believe because it feels so honest, 
but it denies God's thoughts where sinners are concerned.  Think about 
your savior's name for a minute. Immanuel. Remind me what that name 
means.” 

“God with us.” 

“Yes. God is with us. That statement implies He's not against us. He is
on our side in this battle. He's already shown us the lengths He's 
willing to go to bring us back to Himself. In the cross, God shows us 
ourselves as worse than we could ever imagine. But He does that in 
order to leave us without any doubt that our sin has been forgiven. He 
answers the deepest of our psychological needs, and that is if we are 
to feel truly accepted, then we must know that we have been accepted at 
our very worst.” 

“Is that the bottom line?” 

“No. The bottom line is there is nothing you could ever do that will
keep Jesus from loving you. That's the point we all begin from, even if 
we must begin from that point a hundred times.” 

Leslie slowly took a deep breath and just as slowly let it out. She
looked out across the lake at the moonlight dancing on the water and 
said almost absentmindedly, “I remember.” 

“What do you remember?” 

“I remember what it felt like when forgiveness seemed so real instead of
like an abstract concept that's just beyond my grasp.” 

“Ah, the silence you mentioned. I think that silence is just the sound
of God being confused. When God forgives, He also forgets. So, when you 
ask to be forgiven for something He's already dealt with, He's sitting 
in heaven going ‘Huh? What? When?'” 

Leslie laughed at the image as Maddie had hoped she would. But there was
something else she desperately needed to hear from someone. 

“You know, our evangelical mindset lacks a certain something that would
be really useful in a situation like this. When we confess our sins, we 
tend to leave it at that and trust the matter has been dealt with. I 
think sometimes we need to hear that it has been dealt with as well.” 

She placed firm hands on Leslie's shoulders and said in the most solemn
tones she could muster, “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to 
anger and abounding in mercy. He has not dealt with you according to 
your sins nor punished you according to your iniquities. For as the 
heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward the 
woman who fears Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He 
removed your transgressions from you. Though your sins were as scarlet, 
they have been washed white as snow. He knows your pain. He has cried 
with you, longed to comfort you, and if you let Him, He will restore 
all the years the locusts have eaten away.” 

Though the tears were undeniably real, they had a very different feel to
them. For the first time in many years, they didn't burn. “Thanks, 
Maddie.” 

“For what?” 

“For not condemning me as I thought you should.” 

Maddie raised her hand and said, “Sinner saved by grace here. And as
such, my mission in life is to extend that same grace to others who 
need it.” 

“Does church still begin at 10:45?” 

“As always, yes.” 

“My flight isn't until mid-afternoon on Sunday. I think maybe I'd like
to attend.” 

“I'm sure everyone would enjoy seeing you again.” 

“Everything all right?” Kyle asked when he reconnected with Maddie
fifteen minutes later. 

“Oh yes. In fact, better than expected. Why?” 

“You look a little puffy around the eyes.” 

“Nothing in the Kingdom is ever wasted. Especially tears like these.” 

“Leslie?” 

“Yes. She took off for her hotel but promised she'd see us at the
softball game tomorrow. She was very tired from her airport ordeal 
today and I don't think she's ready for a chance encounter with Cal. 
Did you see him?” 

“Did I ever. He's as self-important as I remembered and his hair is
three shades darker than it was in school. It looked ridiculous with 
the nearly white moustache.” 

“I want you to know that I like this,” she said and touched the gray at
Kyle's temples, “so stay away from the Just For Men. Did he settle 
matters with you?” 

“All debts are repaid,” he said with a not so innocent grin. 

“What have you done?” 

“I informed him that I would be donating the money to a local charity. I
made that decision after he mentioned he was staying at the Days Inn. I 
asked him to do me the favor of dropping the money off at the charity 
himself since he's staying so close.” 

“What charity do we support that's located in that part of town?” 

“Gift of God Ministries. I made it a sure thing he'd follow through by
telling him if he delivered the check in person he could have the tax 
write off. And you know Adaline will give him the grand tour of the 
facility.” 

“I can't believe you sent him to the maternity home. I think it would be
nice if you'd make sure the gift is given in memory of Josiah 
Michaels.” 

“Is that anybody we know?” 

“Only as an empty cradle,” she said, subconsciously protecting her own
midsection with folded arms. “I'll tell you all about it on the way 
home.” 


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