A Couple Years of Gardening (Chapter 8) (standard:romance, 3365 words) [8/10] show all parts
Author: kmr412002	Added: Mar 22 2008	Views/Reads: 2248/1659	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
The courtship and marriage of a detective as told by hiswife.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

stares at her reflection in the mirror, “Jack is doing great. You know 
he got a commendation for solving this case. Of course, he's in the 
middle of that hearing right now, but I've never seen him do so well.” 

I stare at my hands as I wash them, “That's great, Megan. I'm glad. He
deserves it.” 

“Oh, yes. He's got it all, but you.” 

I look at her in the mirror. She laughs in a girlish manner like we're
sharing friendly gossip. She leans against the sink counter and folds 
her arms.  “He calls me wanting to get together for lunch. He wants to 
talk and I thought, great, he wants to get back together.” 

“I don't know what to say.” 

She shrugs her shoulders. “Hey, I made a mistake and just when I'm
pleading my case, like I've done hundreds of times before. I see it and 
then I knew I didn't have a chance.” 

“See what?” 

“It was a grocery list tucked in among some bills and letters. It was
dated two months ago and it had a heart drawn on the bottom of it. I 
didn't recognize the handwriting so I assumed it was yours. The list 
didn't bother me, but the fact that it was still here. A man who is 
pretty good at keeping things in order is holding on to some useless 
piece of paper. I handed it to him and rather than tossing it, he puts 
it in the pocket of his jeans.” 

I try to act like I don't know what she's talking about, but in my mind
it feels like yesterday when I made that note. He had to go out on a 
call Saturday. Before he left, he asked me to make a grocery list so we 
could stay in Sunday. 

“Megan, you said ‘plead your case.'  What do you mean by that?” 

She blushes ever so slightly, “You mean he didn't tell you?” 

“Tell me what?” 

She picks up her purse and makes her way for the door. She smiles
guiltily, “Maybe he'd better tell you.” 

“We both know him better than that.”   I step in front of her and she
freezes. 

“Listen, it's just one of those things. When we were in the Hamptons, I
told him I was pregnant. Later, I found out --.”  She stops talking and 
just shrugs coyly. 

I want to slap her, but I just close my eyes as I step aside. 

When I came back to the table, Kate and David are gone. Jack is looking
at me as I slowly sit done. He says, “Kate said she needed to go.” 

I am disturbed that we have become uncomfortable with each other. I
think, is that what happens when two friends become lovers?  The easy 
give and take in conversation has disappeared and in its place is an 
awkward silence.  I grab my bag and begin digging for my keys. I say, 
“I've got to go, too.” 

“I'm sorry, Nina, it didn't work out for us.” 

I stop and look at him, “I am, too. I guess maybe another time, another
place.” 

I'm trying to look pretty cool and casual about the whole thing. That
veneer falls apart when we both spot Megan leaving and then we look at 
each other.  Instead of leaving, I collapse into my chair and put my 
head in my hands. "Jesus, Jack, why didn't you just tell me?" 

He asks, “Why? Would it have changed things for us?” 

“I don't know.” 

“Nina, why did you sleep with me after Pete's suicide?” I look at him a
little puzzled and then I say, “I guess I couldn't stand the thought of 
you being alone. It just hurt to see you like that.” 

He says, “She told me when we were on the way to the Hamptons. When I
called you that night I was going to tell you. Then I had second 
thoughts, because I didn't want you to think that what happened with 
her had anything to do with what I felt about you.  It looked like I 
was turning to you after another bad break.  I guess I blew it, Nina, 
didn't I?” 

“We both did; expecting this to work out, ignoring the miles between
us.” 

He says, “Not to mention the histories we brought to this. 

I say, “Your obsession with your work.” 

He says, “Your obsession with your work.” 

I take his hand and says, “Are you still that arrogant jerk?” 

“Yea, are you still that pain in the ass?” 

I nod, and ask, “So, why did we believe that this could work out?  We
never made a whole lot of sense.” 

He says, “Nah, not really.” 

My eyes begin to sting. I look down and say, “But I don't give a shit,
because I've missed you.” 

He reaches across and touches my hair.  He sighs and says, “Nina, you
know what I've missed?  That tiny star shaped mole on the side of your 
temple. It was just like this sweet secret you had, because it was 
covered by your hair. Sometimes I would kiss it and wonder what other 
secrets you had. 

“God, Jack, the only secret I want you to know is how hard it was to let
you go; to let you get on that plane in Atlanta.” 

When his cell rings, he mutters, “Shit.”  He gets up to take the call. 
and returns to the table with a total look of helplessness cloaking his 
face. He looks at his watch and says, “Barrett and I fly to Boston 
tonight to pick up a suspect. I know this is more than I should ask 
for, but please wait for me. I know we can work this out. Just please 
wait for me.” 

He kisses my cheek, and then he's gone. 

Kate went back with me to Atlanta. She had a few days off, and David
thought it would be better if she got away. We find a beach house to 
rent for few days where we put sleeping bags in the sun room. We spent 
a lot of time talking and in the middle of one of those conversations, 
she asked me about Jack. I told her about him asking me to wait. 

She said, “You know this is terrible, but after I found out my father
had died, the only thing I thought of was how I just wanted to sleep 
with David. To have him there, meant the world to me.” 

I shook my head, “That's not terrible, Kate. What's terrible is when you
called; I thought you were calling about Jack.” 

“Sweetie, that's normal. That's what happens when you love someone,
Nina. I'm telling you about David, because I've discovered how how 
important it is to have someone in your life that means that much to 
you; that can lessen life's pain.”  She gives me that slow easy smile 
of hers; which I haven't seen in a while. “So, are you going to wait?” 

“I think he would wait for me. In fact, I think he's kind of waiting for
me now.” 

Two weeks pass. I leave a couple of messages for Jack, but I don't hear
from him. I tell myself that I imagined the whole incident at the bar. 
Maybe I just heard him wrong. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe it's 
better this way. Maybe it's time for another haircut. 

I've got to go to New York for a meeting. The day before I arrive, I
call Kate. “Jack didn't say anything about you coming to New York. You 
haven't called him, have you?” 

“Kate, I left a message, but I haven't heard from him for the past two
weeks. Maybe it's best that --.” 

I think she hasn't heard me. She says, “Call me when you finish up. I'll
meet you at the bookstore around the corner.” 

When I'm done with work, I leave a page for Kate and make my way to the
bookstore we had talked about. I buy some coffee and find a book on 
astronomy. I curl up on a sofa. After a few minutes, a shadow falls 
across the pages. “You still believe in those stars?” Jack asks. I look 
up and smile, “How did you know I was here?  I thought you were at the 
hearing.”  He's wearing a black ski cap and his black trenchcoat.  I 
know he hasn't slept or shaved in a couple of days and looks like any 
thug he might be tracking down. 

He rubs the back of his neck, and says, “They came in with the decision.
I was cleared.” 

I spring up and hug him. We hold each other for a few seconds.  I step
back and look at him, “Jack, you look terrible. When was the last time 
you've slept?” 

He shakes his head, “I can't.” 

My heart breaks at because I know this simple statement really has
nothing do with the hearings. We sit on the sofa. I look down at my 
hands and I say, “You had said something about me getting my wish. My 
wish was never for you to go through this alone, Jack. It was never for 
us to lose what we had.” 

“Baby, I know that. You don't think I wanted the same thing?” he took my
face in his hands and kisses me. 

My eyes fill with tears. “You didn't call, I thought maybe you and Megan
might have decided to --.” 

He says, “Nina, how could I ever go back?  Ever since that day in the
park, how could I ever go back?” 

“So, you've been going through this by yourself?” 

“Not really, I've been going down to the gym; which means most of the
time I get my ass kicked in the ring. Believe me, I haven't have been 
easy to live with.” 

“Since when have you been?”  I smile. 

He laughs quietly, “I guess I had that coming. Look, it seems to me that
whenever life kicks me in the teeth, I give you a call.  I just don't 
want you to think I only need you for a shoulder to cry on. I want my 
life with you back, Nina, just because you are the one who has my 
heart. That has never changed.” 

He says those words that way and I realize then how much I miss him. I
wrap my arms around him as he lifts my hair to kiss my temple. Kate 
clears her throat and smiles as she tells me, “I came to tell you I 
can't make lunch. Nina, your cell must be down. I'm way behind in my 
paperwork. Jack, remember the captain was really riding me about that?” 


Jack nods slowly and then Kate lets out a dramatic gasp as she touches
his forehead. “Oh, God, Jack, you look like shit. You must be coming 
down with something. No wonder you've been in a crappy mood all 
morning. Maybe you should take the rest of the afternoon off. It's 
pretty quiet.” 

Jack says, “Yea, I really haven't been doing too well for quite some
time.” 

We go to a coffee shop down the street. After we sit down, I said, “Kate
could never lie.” 

He smiles, “This morning, she told me if I didn't do something, she
would get another partner. I really have been an asshole to work with.” 


I stare out at the street, “I'm sorry, Jack." 

“Nah. She's right. So, I'm here to do something. You told me we couldn't
go on until I finished up with Megan. Well, I did that, Nina.”  He 
closes his hands in front of his face and stares at me. “Baby, 
sometimes I almost hated you for making me do this. I'm thinking I fall 
in love with you and you want to bail. Maybe you didn't want it to work 
out and you were looking for an excuse. I think great, that's fine with 
me. Then the day I spoke with Megan, it hits me then.” 

“What hits you?” 

“What you were trying to tell me. You were right when you said that
Megan and I were not really over.” 

I tense up. This is it. It's over. He's just being the great guy I fell
in love with. 

He says, “I started to tell her that it wouldn't matter if she had told
me it was pregnant or not, it was over.  She starts talking about 
cutting me out of her life.  She calls me an apathetic son-of-a-bitch 
and I'm thinking maybe that's what was wrong with me all along. But 
later on that night, I realize I do care about one thing.” 

“Jack, you never told me everything about what happened with you and
Megan. God, if I had known—.” 

He says, “Nah, Baby, it doesn't matter now. You came along and shook
things up and I find I'm not in control as I used to be. I've never 
been really good at keeping a relationship going, let alone a long 
distance one. You made me want it to work so bad, it just scared the 
shit out of me.” 

Jack leans in closer and looks around as he is going to tell me a
secret. “God, Nina, what is it about you?   I can kick down a door not 
knowing what's on the other side, but, when it comes to you-. Why am I 
having such a hard time just letting go; just letting whatever happens 
with us happen?” 

I shrug taking his hand. “I don't know, Jack. Have you ever been scared
of losing someone?” 

He looks down at the floor, “Besides you, besides Emily, I don't think
I've ever had anyone to lose.” 

My heart breaks when he says this. I think, how can someone go through
life and feel this way, and I think to myself, you go through life 
feeling this way, fool.  I know now how much I love him and I want to 
tell him, but I can see he is uneasy about letting me see so much. 

He says, “I just don't want to screw up your life.” 

I laugh quietly. I say, “Screw up my life?  I think it's too late for
that. I can barely keep my mind on my work. On Fridays, I used to get 
into work at five a.m. and finish whatever editing I need to do, so I 
could catch a plane that afternoon to spend the weekend with a man who, 
if I'm lucky, I'll get to see for more than a few hours.  A few days 
ago, I was in a standing in line at a grocery store, and that sappy Van 
Morrison song came on that you like. Jack, I had to leave a cart of 
groceries. I couldn't handle it. Yes, I think you did mess up a life 
I've tried to keep on such an even keel; so predictable, but I don't 
think I've ever been as happy as when we were together. I don't think 
I've ever been as in love. I would do it all again, no matter how it 
ends for us.” 

His eyes widen in bewilderment as he says, “Baby, is that what you think
I want to do?  Do you honestly believe I want it over?  Because if 
that's what you want, you're going to have to walk away, because 
there's no way in hell--.” 

He stops talking as I ask tearfully, “Can we just go home, Jack?” 

The waitress comes by then, but Jack waves her away as he pulls his
chair over to my side of the table. He puts his arms around me and 
waits for me to pull myself together, like he has done so many times 
before. Finally, he stands up and holds up my coat for me to slip into. 



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