Changes (standard:humor, 1312 words)
Author: Reid Laurence	Added: Jan 06 2008	Views/Reads: 3196/2181	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
"What we have here, is a failure to communicate!" Will America finally pull itself together and get pulling together? Can Barack Obama really do what he says he can? We may not have long to find out...

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story


“Well, if I had to give you a dollar amount right now, I'd say anywhere
from fifty cents to seventy-five cents on the dollar.” 

“It's a deal,” I replied, pushing the bills into his hand. “Where do I
pick up my dough?” 

Wow, whatta maroon, I thought to myself, as I scrambled for the door.
Brand new Yankee cash in hand and proud of it too. After all, where was 
he gonna spend that stuff? God knows, I tried.. I just couldn't get 
stores to take it. Talk about changes in America, gosh. Old Colonel 
Laurence must be roll'in in his grave. But then, my thoughts shifted to 
recollections of my lovely wife's face, and the pride I knew she'd feel 
when I literally brought home the bacon and put it in the pan. Mmm, I 
could smell it cooking now. 

Stopping off at the local grocery store as I'd planned, I stood and
stared for a while at the hot babe who shelved the dairy section like I 
always did, and thought of a really neat question to ask her. Just the 
kind of remark that would make her stop and think about how smart a guy 
I am, but I had to wonder to myself... would my wife Mary think I'm 
flirting? Naw, how could she? Talking is just a part of living I 
concluded, and boldly walked over to the yogurt refrigeration case 
where she stood busily restocking the assorted flavors. “How ya do'in?” 
I began coyly. “Remember me,” I asked her. “I come in here all the 
time.” 

“Go away.” 

“Well hey,” I politely said, choosing to ignore her blunt disregard for
my sophistic reasoning. “I know you know you're yogurt, but If somebody 
walked up ta you right now and asked you who you'd vote for in the 
upcoming election, who would you pick?” 

“What? I'm busy mister. Do I have'ta call the manager?” 

“No, no, please. It's just an innocent question,” I stated. “Really, I
just wanted to know you're thoughts.” 

“Alright, I'll tell you then, if you really want to know. But you
promise to leave me alone after I tell you? You're not gonna be waiting 
for me in the parking lot are you? I don't need anymore nuts, you know. 
All a the assorted nuts are in aisle five.” 

“I get it,” I said. “I appreciate you're dispassionate use of metaphor
and I promise, I'll leave you alone and I swear I'm not a nut.” 

“Okay then. I'll tell you. So far, I'm voting for Barack Obama.” 

“That's cool,” I replied. “But what makes you lean toward Obama?
Anything special about him I should know?” 

“Yeah, for one thing, he knows we have only one internet, not
‘internets'.” 

“Okay, I see your point,” I said. “Anything else I should know about
him?” 

“Yeah, there is,” began the girl. “He's for changing America. He might
even get the country back on its feet. He could get us all to pull 
together and disregard our racial differences. Anyway, he's got to know 
more about big business then Bush.” 

“But surely President Bush must've proven something while in office,” I
pled.. “Whaddaya say?” 

And then, from the mouths of babes came her innocent reply, shocking me
to sensibility like a sock full of Charles Bronson quarters to the 
head...“He proved the country can't run itself. Nuff said?”


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