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Why Wal-Mart Will Destroy You (standard:humor, 1224 words) | |||
Author: Reid Laurence | Added: Aug 28 2007 | Views/Reads: 3275/2211 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
How do millions of people fall prey to huge chain stores? Why do we let ourselves be treated like shopping zombies who make the same mistakes over and over again? To tell you the truth, I still can't put my finger on it, but I sure know what happens... | |||
Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story “I'm thinking my mother was right,” replied my wife. “I never should've married you. You're spending us into oblivion.” “No I'm not,” I said evasively. “I'm merely getting you the things you deserve out of life. You only live once you know. I'm just trying to help. Here, look at this,” I remarked. “Take a gander,” I said, as I unfolded the papers I'd been trying my best to keep secret since I'd arrived home. “Look,” I continued. “Isn't it cool!?” “It's a thirty year mortgage note,” replied Mary. “For what? Where? We have a home now don't we?” “Not for long, my sweet. I'm selling it,” I said, as the driver and his helpers pushed their way past us with the new eighty inch, giant screen t.v. I'd only just bought. “Wake up Mary,” I insisted. “Welcome to the new age of spending without guilt. Don't be afraid to extend your credit lines a little. That's what they're there for... to use and enjoy.” “I'm afraid to ask,” was all my wife could say after all that I'd explained, as the driver began bringing in some of the new furniture I'd picked out. “How in the world did we qualify for a loan? You're wrecking our credit with all these purchases.” “No I'm not. I'm building it up,” I explained. “We may not have the cash now, but we're bound to in the future. Heck, didn't you say you had a great aunt that was gonna leave you something? Besides, don't worry about the new house loan. We got in on what they call an ARM. An Adjustable Rate Mortgage. Millions of people are doing it.” “Sure, they suck you in with a low rate for the first three years an then they take your house when you can't pay the balance or refinance. Didn't you know that? We'll be living on the street in a refrigerator box you idiot.” “No we won't my sweet. I don't know why you underestimate me so. We'll be making more money when the note comes due. The loan officer assured me. Besides, we've got a whole year to sit back and enjoy our new, low rate.” “You mean the notes' due in a year?” “Sure. Why, what's the harm?” “Oh, nothing. You're right. Say... where'd you put those twelve gauge shells for the shotgun?” “In my desk drawer, why?” “Let's just call it ‘women's intuition', but I think I know how to solve our money problems.” “What problems?” “Never mind. Just sit down and relax in one a those new chairs you bought an I'll be with you in a minute...” “Is it a surprise! I love surprises. This is gonna be a blast!” “You said it.” Tweet
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Reid Laurence has 110 active stories on this site. Profile for Reid Laurence, incl. all stories Email: reidgaller@sbcglobal.net |