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My Love, Your Love (standard:poetry, 1588 words) | |||
Author: MeiHua | Added: Jun 09 2007 | Views/Reads: 2731/1959 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
I was looking out into the forest one day... Our neighborhood is building new houses and all, and then suddenly a poem of trees popped up into my head. | |||
Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story and there you are again, pleading, watching. "This is life." I glance after the bus rolling away, I glance at my home, no one is home. It's only me with my pathetic Winnie-the-Pooh backpack. "Come, come, Merry. We will welcome you." Welcome, I scoffed. No one has ever welcomed me before; to these humans, I am nothing but breathing trouble. I don't believe in your fake promises. "Please, you'll become one with us." No, I cry, no. The door to home opens, I see my mother standing in the shadows of home. Quickly, I step inside, shutting all manners of insanity outside, but I know, oh aye, I know, the insanity is nestled in my heart. Part Four Life has grown unbearable to carry, to tote over these weary shoulders. It is morning when the sun breaks through with a radiant burst of colors, its vibrant fingers reaching out, embracing its love: the sky. A hummingbird swoops over me, a larger example of a bumblebee, buzzing, droning. "Come, Merry; all troubles will be forgotten, you can lie rested in my arms." Arms, arms. I never had anyone hold me when I cried, I never had anyone hold me, when I wanted the world to end; I want someone to hold me. "Yes, that's it. One foot ahead of another, I knew you'll come to love us one day." The branches beckon me, enticing, like snakes raising its head. Wrong words spoken, too rash, too forward. No, I can never live in your midst; my shoulders slump, as I walk back the few feet needed so I can go ...home? Part Five The grasses soothe my fever, their rippling contrabands waving to the wind. I lift up a finger and a butterfly rests, its wings, ceased in its fluttering. "Will you come now?" I gaze wantingly at the greenery; I lift my nose up in disdain of the reek of garbage where I am lying now in this human world. My hand moves a slight bit, and the butterfly threads through my fingers, to its home. A wind picks up my hair, "Come, come," it disappears into the trees, where there, it stirs up more trouble with the leaves. A chorus of song bursts out from the trees, and I realize, Hey! I know this tune. I sing right along with them. "Will you come now, bonny lass? Will you come lie in our midst?" I pause my singing; the trees stop, too, in sullen silence. I hesitate. One step forward, another step forward, three steps back. Give me more time. "Remember, you'll always be welcomed here." I know, but I'm not ready yet, what am I but a college student of twenty-five? I still have a life ahead of me. Part Six Indeed time has passed me by, I have before me, my children romping around in the grass, their clothes a flash of red and blue against the backdrop of green and yellow. And also, I rest in arms, caring arms, wanting arms, arms of my love. "Come, Merry. We've been waiting for you." I stiffen, the voice I've dreaded to hear, comes back now, four years later. My nightmare. What's wrong, Merry? my love asks. I gaze up into that molten pool of burning passion. Nothing, I reply. Nothing, at all. The trees look after me in somber eyes, I'm sorry, I whisper, but this is my home. I've found my home at last, after years, after many delays, but I've found it at last. "No, you haven't." I turn my back on them as I once did before. Part Seven Thirty-six. Flashes of a birthday cake and the lightings of candles, lining my cake. Balloons float up in celebration of this sacred day. There's a picnic outside, my children are teenagers, my husband as lovely as before. And then I freeze in my tracks. Not that voice again. "We'll always be waiting." No, no, I push their honey-sweet words away, far away. It's my birthday, I don't want you to tell me what to do. "Please?" I could envision their lugubrious eyes, those wise eyes in the midst of green, sad, lonely, but no I can't go. Part Eight Alright, then get out! Our marriage ends at this date, words of anger, words of burning hatred, the once ardent passion, replaced with the passion of hatred. Things grow dim, things are pushed away when we see them too much. Our children are gone to live their own lives: one in college, another with a month old baby sitting on her lap. The children used to keep us together, but now, they're gone, and the last few shreds of our love, tears, the flimsy thread breaks. We can't live together anymore. I watch as my husband drives away in his Jeep, that shining red beetle then disappears over the next crest of a hill. "But you'll always have me." Go away, I rush away, tears in my eyes, welling up, bursting. Go away. Part Nine My breath grows short, sans teeth, sans mouth, sans eyes, sans everything. Without everything. My teeth cannot chew, they hate chewing, they loathe having to digest every snippet of unwanted information. I can no longer see, my vision is used up, the shadows rise and fall without my notice. Taste, taste, the wondrous being, fades, oh, aye, it fades, my mouth no longer wants to taste, I am sick of all the men's mouth on top of mine. Sick of new families, sick of the sudden tearing apart. Without everything. "No, no," the winds bring the message to my window, "you know you'll always have us." You'll always have us, the words are somewhat winning. I want someone, I want, I want, no, not man. Man is the last thing on my mind, not anything to be connected with man, no, I don't want them. "But you want me?" Yes, yes, I want you. I want to lie in your midst. I want to experience this true love that never fades. "Then come," the wind whistles, a clear, sweet melody, I remember that melody— a clear memoir from the past. "I knew you would remember me; I remember you, too." I love you. "Then come outside, and we shall embrace." Part Ten And so, thus, here I end up, outside. Outside, yes! Hallelujah! Outside where the untamed things are; spirit whole, unbroken. I am one with the forest, not one as humans think of it. ((I am sick of all that oneness talk with partners of the opposite sex.)) This is the oneness, that link, that unbreakable iron rope, golden rope, life's rope linking you and me together. Outside, the outside. I roam like a deer, I growl like a tiger, deep, true, we share the wild together. This is love. "Come closer and you will see." I'll hold you in my arms, we all have arms in this mass of green that stretches onward and forever, 'til the end. Yet one thing more, there is no end for us. This is the other world, this is another realm where at last, at last, there is no worry of fitting in because here, oh here is a tune anyone will recognize. Closing Do you believe in love now? I can only say I believe in love— oh no, never that shallow human love whose veins never run deep. Human love is evaporating water. But this love, this love is the love in novels. I have found the love in novels, I have found this love, oh this burning desire to do something is diminished, now gone, when I see, when I gaze into the eyes of my love. It is only a dim whisper in the air. "Come closer and you will see," but you can feel it, you can treasure it ‘til eternity. My love, your love. Open your eyes, clean the conduit of your ears, and alas, there, there, you will hear it, that clear, sweet melody of love. My love, your love, everyone's love, this burning passion of everlasting fire, I share this passion today with you, and I hope you will pass it on. For I know, I am certain, I will never leave the arms of my love as I had before. Here eternity lies within eternity, a story within a story, people linked with people, peace, complete peace; oneness, and want complete with this greenness where even the sunshine appears to fade... ...completely away, only a clear, sweet melody remains, the tune of love. My love, your love can you not see it clearly written there in the future pages of your book, a faint rosemary scent. Tweet
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