The Fast Track (standard:humor, 1175 words)
Author: Reid Laurence	Added: May 27 2007	Views/Reads: 3345/2181	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Ever wonder what happens at those schools of medicine in far off lands? How would you like one of those new grads performing liposuction on you or your wife?... Think about it! Get the inside dope right here...

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

think on your feet. A valuable commodity to any good doctor. Now then, 
let us go to the next patient. Pick up this man's chart,” he continued, 
as we moved over to the next unfortunate case in the room. “Read it to 
me, what does he suffer from?” 

“The chart says that he believes he is a chicken, and that there are no
drugs known to man that will make him believe otherwise. Everything has 
been tried, and all attempts to bring him back to reality have failed.” 


“And so, Senor Laurence, tell me what you would do. How would you treat
this illness?” 

“Doctor Diego,” I answered. “I would do nothing. Nothing at all.” 

“And why is that?” 

“Because I could always use the eggs Senor, that is why.” 

“I see,” replied my well known instructor. “That is both logical and
benevolent. I am beginning to trust your diagnostic abilities all the 
more, even as the mounting pressure of this exam grows ever greater.” 

“Thank you Doctor San Diego. I find myself deeply in your debt, as
without your lessons, I would have neither the knowledge or skills 
required to pass such sound judgement.” 

“Yes, I know. We have a fine school of medicine here, do we not?” 

“Most assuredly, we do senor.” 

“Very well then,” said my prominent mentor. “Follow me to the next
patient.” And without hesitation, I walked proudly to the next and last 
ailing person in the room, picked up the chart at the foot of her bed 
and began to read... 

“It says that although this woman came to us for liposuction, the
surgeon mistakenly gave her a hysterectomy. Now it seems she wants to 
sue the hospital and the doctor in charge.” 

“So tell me then, Senor Laurence. How would you treat the case? What is
to be done now that we have made a mistake such as this?” 

“I would destroy all evidence that this woman ever received treatment
here and deny all charges completely and irrefutably.” 

“Excellent!” remarked my learned teacher. “You have not only passed your
final exam, but you have scored a very high ‘A+'. I cannot bestow any 
greater honor on you, but if I could, I would. Do you have any advice 
to offer other students that will one day soon be walking in your 
footsteps?” 

“Only that I'm so glad,” I said. “To have fulfilled my dream of becoming
a doctor. It is so important to me to know that I did not take the easy 
way out and earn my M.D. over the internet or by correspondence school 
as others may have...Also, I would like to remind them that all the 
world should be thankful that institutions of higher learning still 
exist where degrees and ethics cannot be cheaply acquired but are hard 
won - or in other words - that anything worth having is worth working 
for. Lastly, don't settle for second best; in yourself; in your 
education; or in your career, or in the end, you may find yourself 
rich, famous and greatly loathed.” 

“Well put Doctor Laurence. I could not have said it better myself.”


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