Teenage Dirtbags (standard:drama, 2397 words)
Author: Ian Hobson	Added: Oct 18 2006	Views/Reads: 3725/2336	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Toddy glanced in his rear-view mirror then wound his window down and showed the driver his middle finger… WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE!

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Anna was not convinced.  'Are you sure?' 

'Course I'm sure!'  Toddy was beginning to get angry.  'Anyway, what
business is it of yours, you fat slag?' 

'Don't you call me a slag!'  Anna leaned in towards her brother again
and looked about ready to thump him. 

'We were just getting some ciggies,' said Robbo, glad to have found
something to say and glad of another look down Anna's cleavage.  
Suddenly the white van moved off, followed by the line of cars, and 
Toddy pulled away after them, leaving a trail of exhaust fumes and his 
furious sister standing precariously between two lines of moving 
vehicles. 

As Toddy's car joined the flow of traffic on the road, Robbo turned in
his seat to catch a glimpse of Anna making her way back to the safety 
of the pedestrian exit.  'She's not fat,' he said. 

'She's a fat cow,' said Toddy angrily as he changed lanes and
accelerated.  'Did you see what that sign said?' 

'Sign?'  Robbo was mentally conjuring an image of Anna standing naked in
the shower; perhaps she was a bit fat. 

'The bloody supermarket sign, you twat!  I meant to look and see what it
said.' 

'Oh, no I didn't look either.  Do you want to go back and see?' 

'No, we'll be late for work.' 

The two youths both worked at McDonalds.  Robbo spent most of his
earnings on cigarettes, DVDs and computer games, while Toddy just 
managed to keep his Ford on the road; and to keep his fifteen-year-old 
girlfriend, Jade, happy. 

'So what do you want me to do, again?' Robbo asked. 

Toddy threw his cigarette end out of the window and then patiently
explained his plan. 

*** 

'We should have brought a ladder, shouldn't we?' said Robbo. 'We'll
never get up that drainpipe.' A day and a half had passed since the two 
youths had visited the supermarket, and now, at three in the morning, 
he and Toddy were standing in the derelict timber-yard immediately 
behind it. 

'If we had a fuckin ladder, we'd have brought one,' Toddy whispered his
reply.  'And keep your fuckin voice down, there are houses just over 
there.' 

'My dad's got a ladder,' whispered Robbo, looking up at the roof of the
supermarket; it seemed to be a lot higher at the rear of the building. 

'Well why the fuck didn't you say so before?'  Toddy took hold of the
drainpipe and tried to shake it free of the wall.  It was a large one, 
made only of plastic, but well supported by several fixing brackets, 
and it seemed to be strong enough. 

'Because you didn't ask,' replied Robbo.  'Shall we come back another
night?' 

'No!  We're doing it tonight... Look, if you want, I'll go up the
drainpipe first and lower the rope.  Then you can tie it round your 
waist and I'll help you climb up, okay?' 

'It looks very high.' Robbo was beginning to loose his nerve. 

'I thought you'd done fuckin rock-climbing, you twat!'  Now Toddy was
raising his voice. 

'Yeah...  rock-climbing, not fuckin drainpipe climbing.' 

'What's the fuckin difference?  It's still climbing, isn't it?  And it's
fuckin a building, not fuckin Everest!'  Toddy decided that once this 
job was done, he'd dump Robbo.  He had been a good mate to have at 
school, as a defence against the bullies, but he was such a fucking 
dick-head at times. 

'Okay,' said Robbo, 'you go first.  But if that drainpipe gives way and
I fall off and kill myself, you're fuckin dead.' 

Toddy ignored the ridiculous threat and shinned up the drainpipe and
onto the supermarket roof, surprising himself at his own agility.  
Crouching low, he looked across the expanse of the roof: it was 
completely flat except for a number of skylights positioned at regular 
intervals across its surface.  He was surprised at the amount of light 
that shone from them but then remembered that these places always left 
lights on at night for security reasons; a lot of good that would do 
them tonight. 

He tiptoed over the nearest skylight and peered down into the
supermarket.  The glass was dirty but he could see the end of two isles 
with well-stocked shelves on either side.  He leant closer to the 
glass, trying to see further along one of the isles.  What if there was 
someone inside?  A shelf-stacker or a security man?  But he'd walked by 
the place in the middle of the night on three occasions the previous 
week and there had been no parked vehicles and no sign of life.  He 
went back to the edge of the roof and looked down at Robbo, glad to see 
that he was still there.  'Throw me the rucksack,' he whispered. 

'What?' 

'The rucksack, you twat!  Throw it up.' 

Robbo picked up the rucksack, which contained a climbing-rope, a crowbar
and some plastic bin-liners, and windmilling his right arm, he hurled 
it at Toddy who caught it easily and soon had it opened.  He lowered 
the rope to Robbo and waited for him to tie it around his waist then 
took up the slack as Robbo climbed up the drainpipe and clambered onto 
the roof.  'See, it was fuckin easy, wasn't it?' 

'Yeah, I suppose so.'  Robbo agreed.  'Why is it all lit up?' 

'They always leave the lights on.  Come on, and bring the rope.'  Toddy
picked up the rucksack and set off diagonally across the roof.  He knew 
exactly which skylight to make for: the one at the end of the third row 
from the front of the supermarket, right in front of the cigarette 
kiosk.  It was two weeks earlier, when waiting to be served at the 
kiosk that he'd noticed the skylight and conceived the plan. 

'How do we get it open?' asked Robbo as he joined his partner in crime
beside the skylight. 

'With this.'  Toddy reached into the rucksack for the crowbar and set to
work.  'Do you remember when I was on remand for shoplifting?'  Robbo 
nodded a reply.  'Well, I got off, but while I was there I met this guy 
who told me how easy it is to get these things open.'  Toddy's hands 
were trembling slightly, and inserting the crowbar was more difficult 
than he'd been led to believe.  He kept on talking to calm his nerves.  
'You've never been in trouble with the law, have you?' he said. 

'Only once,' Robbo replied. 

'When was that?  Bollocks!'  Toddy was still having difficulties. 

'That time I nicked a wheelbarrow as a Christmas present for my dad.' 

'What happened?' 

'Fuckin snowed, didn't it!  Bastard shopkeeper followed my tracks home.'


'Got it!'  Toddy wasn't listening; he'd managed to force the crowbar
into a gap and once that was done it was easy to prise the skylight 
open. 

'What's that?'  Robbo asked.  Strains of Don't Cry for me Argentina were
coming up through the skylight. 

Toddy stopped to listen.  'Bleedin muzac,' he said.  'They obviously
can't be arsed to turn that off either.'  He opened the skylight wide 
and quickly knelt and stuck his head down into the opening.  The 
interior seemed very bright, especially with light reflecting from the 
highly polished floor, but he could see straight into the cigarette 
kiosk. 

With his heart beating fast he got back to his feet and wrapped the rope
end around his waist, tying it securely as Robbo had shown him.  The 
day before, they had both climbed a tree in the park and practised 
using a belay device, but soon abandoned the idea in favour of Robbo 
taking Toddy's weight and lowering him into the supermarket, and then 
hauling him back up after the bin-liners, filled of cigarettes, had 
been despatched the same way. 

'Are you sure you're going to be able to pull me back up,' Toddy asked,
for about the twentieth time. 

'I've told you; I can bench press twice your weight.' But Robbo was
still listening to the musac.  'Are you sure there's no one in there?' 

'Course I'm sure.  It's the middle of the fuckin night, isn't it?  Now
come on, lets do it.'  Toddy lowered himself feet first through the 
open skylight and waited for his accomplice to wrap the rope once 
around his own waist, climber-style, and take up the slack. 

*** 

It was Anna's first night at the supermarket.  She was one of the new
staff hastily taken on for the twenty-four-hour opening that had 
started that very day.  Unfortunately, the full-page ads in the local 
papers had failed to drum up many customers so far, and so, like the 
other eight night-staff, she was bored out of her skull.  But at least 
the supervisor, Mike, was nice, and the two of them were chatting 
together when Anna realised that Mike had stopped listening to what she 
was saying and was looking over her shoulder. 

Anna turned in her seat to see what Mike was looking at, and was
surprised to see someone dangling from the ceiling over by the 
cigarette kiosk.  Mike rushed off to the nearest telephone while Anna, 
who was beginning to have the most awful premonition, left her till and 
set off along the isle towards the intruder but soon stopped in her 
tracks as the dangling man slowly revolved on the end of his rope and 
faced her. 

'Pull me up!' exclaimed Toddy, in a kind of whispered shout.  'Pull me
up!' 

'What?'  Robbo's hands were beginning to sting, and he leaned forwards
slightly trying to see how much further Toddy needed to be lowered, and 
trying to hear what he was saying. 

'Pull me up!  There's someone here!' Toddy was screaming at Robbo now,
but it was too late: Anna, her worst fears confirmed, had rushed at her 
brother and snatched at the leg of his jeans. 

'You stupid fucking bastard!  I'll get the sack now, because of you!' 

Above them, Robbo had realised that something was wrong and, gripping
the rope tightly, he was beginning to haul Toddy back up by taking 
backward steps.  But suddenly, as Anna took hold of both of Toddy's 
ankles and pulled, the weight on the rope became too much for him and 
he stumbled forward into the open skylight. 

*** 

Fortunately neither of the two would-be thieves were seriously hurt, as
Toddy had landed on top of his sister and was, for once, glad that she 
was so well upholstered, while Robbo had managed to arrest his fall by 
grabbing hold of he the skylight frame and hanging there until a 
stepladder was brought from the back of the store. 

As the two accomplices were driven away by the police, Toddy glanced
back at the new sign beside the car-park entrance. 

It read, 24-Hour Opening Starts Tomorrow. 

'Bollocks!' 


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