Third time lucky! (standard:humor, 1265 words)
Author: Jilly	Added: Aug 08 2005	Views/Reads: 3174/2140	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I'm thinking of getting married again? For the third time? Must be losing my marbles! How come I have two failed marriages behind me...well you see, it's like this....

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Then she used to do this thing with her nether region.  Plucking her
hair ‘down there' with a pair of tweezers.  Yuk!  That was a real 
turn-off.  The results weren't bad, if you liked skinned chicken.  But, 
watching her do it, in front of the telly, well it was pretty gross to 
see!  And she had the cheek to shout at me when I cut my toenails on 
the sofa! And she flirted with all my mates.  That is definitely NOT 
ON! Next thing you know, its “Bye bye Denise.  And, don't forget to 
take your tweezers on your way out!” 

So now, how did I get mixed up with another woman, your asking?  Why not
stay single.  Period.  Batchelor boy...for good. Well, see it was like 
this... It was a few days after Claire (Mrs Jackson number two) had 
left me.  And I was drowning my sorrows down at the local, and pouring 
out all this stuff about Claire.  To Tracy, behind the bar.  And she 
was all sympathetic like.  Fluttering her long spiky eyelashes at me.  
Telling me that I could do better than Claire.  Saying that she always 
thought Claire was too clingy for me.  And that she had a face like a 
month old tomato.  Telling me how I could get any girl in the pub 
tonight to take me home.  When, through the haze of my pint glass, I 
took a serious look at Tracy.  Properly like.  Phoar!!! Yes, she's all 
right.  Nice tits.  Nice bum.  And she doesn't take her eyes off me.  
Be like having a faithful puppy by your side.  What more could a guy 
wish for.  Why haven't I noticed her before?  In a fanciable way, that 
is. 

Well to cut a very long story short, we kind of started seeing each
other.  Well I was in the pub every night.  And she worked six out of 
seven nights there.  On a Sunday night, it was her night off.  So we 
had a few drinks together, before calling for a take-away on the way to 
her place. 

This carried on for about six months.  Then, one night, a Saturday I
think.  She asked me to marry her.  Holy cow!  Well, that was my first 
reaction.  Then, I thought, well she's a good stick.  And she doesn't 
mind me being out every night.  I mean she can't complain; she works in 
the same pub.  So, I said “Yeh I suppose so”.  And that's it.  We are 
getting married this Saturday.  Down at the Registry Office in Chester. 
  She's wearing a white meringue, and I'm wearing a smile on my face.  
So far anyway.  Well, third time lucky, you know? 


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