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Cast The First Stone (standard:drama, 6855 words) | |||
Author: BigDog59 | Added: Apr 26 2005 | Views/Reads: 3550/2356 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
See how a man's life can change when the truth finally comes out. | |||
Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story moved in together and setup house. Then after a year we went full-blown and tied the knot, full wedding complete with honeymoon trip to the Bahamas. We were a happy couple and seemed to be heading in the right direction. Several years passed as we enjoyed all the fruits of a happily married couple. The next step was a child, but there were problems; one of us was not as fertile or able to provide the necessary ingredients needed for the reproduction process. After several trips to a fertility clinic by Thelma and timed love making sessions we were still unable to conceive. The air between us had become stale. There was no longer any fun in our lovemaking. It was if we were trying to pass a test, but we just didn't have enough knowledge to make the grade. And because I had refused to go to the fertility clinic I was blamed for the lack of success. I remember that Christmas five years ago not only because it was the time that our daughter Felicia had to have been conceived, but because it was the first Christmas that Thelma and I had spent apart since we were married. She was working two jobs; she worked at her regular job from 6:00am until 2:00pm and the other job was at a convenience store from 5:00pm until 12:00am. Her hours at the store were very adjustable and she didn't know if or how long she would have to work most of the time. If her replacement was late or didn't show she would have to wait or stay until someone else came to run the store. Some nights I would wake up at 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning and the bed would be empty beside me. I never dreamed that Christmas would be one of those nights. Since I worked from 7:00 until 4:00 I struggled with this schedule because I knew we really didn't need the money that bad. Thelma was only working two jobs to avoid spending any free time with me. We would see each other only in bed or an occasional hour before she went from one job to another. It seemed to be the loneliest time of my life. I was trapped in a marriage that was falling apart, yet if I strayed and sought refuge in the arms of another I would be guilty of adultery. I was too old and too ashamed to have the proverbial “one-night-stand” but I longed to feel the warmth and comfort of a woman who just wanted to be in my arms simply because it felt good to her. I really felt like our marriage was a shell on the verge of cracking. And then it happened, a late period and a trip to the doctor confirmed that we had finally passed that test. The joy of my life had been conceived and it was a count down until she arrived. At first I had certain misgivings about this baby we were bringing into the world. Would I be a good father? Why now and not years before? Would this child bring us together as a family, or split us farther apart? I even had let the idea of an abortion run through my mind for a fleeting moment. But when I saw the joy and excitement sparkling in Thelma's eyes I knew this child was coming no matter what anybody else said. Months later Felicia arrived. With camcorder in hand I watched as she came into this world, with her mother looking like “The Exorcist” on drugs. I couldn't tell if she was in pain or just pissed off at me for getting her pregnant. I was intent on becoming super father & hubby, by recording the birth and cutting the umbilical cord. I was up to the challenge until the baby's head pop out. That's when I discovered nausea could make you go blind. Even though I had the camera going I swear I can't remember seeing a thing. When the doctor asked if I wanted to cut the cord, I almost cursed at him “man do your job”. By the snicker on his face and the way he went on about his business I think he understood. Despite my continuing hints that the doctor seemed to have a little sugar in him, and Thelma's constant death stares and blood curdling yells we managed to get through the delivery and took a beautiful baby girl home from the hospital. That was four years ago. Now here I am about to go home and tell this woman that I used to love; no I still love her, that I am having an affair and I'm also in love with another woman. A woman that I met while I was at the park with my daughter. A woman that doesn't take me for granted, a woman that wakes up with a smile when she sees me lying there with her. A woman that has told me she loves me within the last two years and said it like she meant it. As usual whenever I pick up Felicia she insists on going to the park before we go home. This ritual started when Felicia was almost 2 years old. Now it's expected unless the weather is bad or something else requires us to get home fast. I began to cherish the days we went to the park, Felicia seemed to be so happy and I was the ever-proud father. Then one particular day as we were still learning to work the big swings, Felicia still couldn't stop them properly, so I stood watch while she swung back and forth. I turned slightly to catch a glimpse of this beautiful woman walking along about five feet away with her head looking down at the ground. She seemed sad, but content at being alone. “Daddy!” shouted Felicia as she attempted to dismount from the swing in mid flight. I moved as fast as a cheetah on the chase and quickly grab her and the swing and slowly let her slide softly to the ground. She jumped up oblivious to the accident that almost happen, and darted to another playground fixture. I looked for the beautiful distraction, but she was no longer around. I searched the whole park area with my eyes but found no sign of her. After about fifteen more minutes I called to Felicia that it was time to go. She took one last turn on the spiral slide and then ran towards me to walk to the car. I was holding Felicia's hand when I heard sobbing sounds. They seemed to be coming from my car as I got closer and closer. Instead they were coming from the car parked next to mine. Upon further examination it was the woman I had seen earlier. She was crying so loudly that Felicia said out loud “are you all right?” She looked up startled at first, then realizing that it was a child she just smiled and said, “Yes sweetheart I'm alright”. I beamed proudly at the concern my daughter had shown as I open the car door for her. After strapping her in her car seat and shutting the door I turned and said,”If there is anything I can do for you to help I'd be glad to”. She said “yea you can find me a man as loving and nice as you seem to be” smiling the whole time. My face must have been blood red and my head must have been as big as a beach ball, as I cranked up my car and headed home feeling more like a man than I had felt in a long time. I thought about the woman I had seen all the way home. I couldn't get the way she looked at me out of my mind, and it made me smile devilishly as I pondered what kind of signal I had given her. I hoped it was one of intrigue and mystery that would make her want to know more. When I got home Thelma was preparing to leave. When she saw me pull up she grinned and insisted on Felicia coming with her. With this opportunity at hand I revved up the car for another drive through the park. I wondered if the woman would be annoyed when she saw me coming back to the park, and without my daughter. I spotted her car still in the same space as it was before I had left. She was no longer crying, but her face was still a bit flustered from the tears. She seemed slightly surprised as I parked beside her and turned off my engine. I turned my head ever so slightly in my best “Mac-Daddy” looking pose I could come up with and used my deepest masculine voice I had, to say “You know I was thinking, why settle for an imitation when you can have the real thing?” I must have been funny because she laughed for about ten seconds and then said “I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea but I don't date married men” “How did you know I was married?” I sputtered back. She retorted, “a woman can always tell if a man is married” For some reason this made me upset and from somewhere deep inside of me this came out “ Why is it a woman can tell if you are married, but she can't tell if you are sincere in how you feel about her? Yea you'll reject me simply because I'm married without ever knowing the circumstances of my marriage. If I'm unhappily married but refuse to leave for the love of my child doesn't that make things a little different? Can't you at least consider the possibilities that I could make you happier as a part time friend than that unmarried dude who has made you cry by probably already cheating on you? Yea I'm married, but I ain't dead”. I cranked up my car and sped out of the parking lot thinking that was the end of that... not knowing this was really the beginning of my affair. About two days later as I was watching Felicia play in the park, a shadow came up behind me. I turned to see the owner of this welcomed sun block. It was the pretty woman. “Lets start over” she said, “my name is Simoine Brown. I'm single, but in a very unhappy relationship that just went to the breaking point.” Then she cocked her head slightly “now it's your turn” I stood up and extended my hand in gratitude, ”my name is Martin Ross and I'm married... and that is Felicia my nearly four year old daughter.” “I apologize if I came on too hard and fast the other day, but I've learned that sometimes it is better to dive in head first before the pool is drained.” She smiled slightly and then asked so exactly what did you have in mine Mr. Martin? I quickly took the lead in “well I thought we would spend a few days getting to know each other's likes and dislikes, and then if we still feel the fire growing in intensity, experiment with a little hands on mutual gratification. And if all the prerequisite desires of passion have been mutually fulfilled by both parties, I figured we would each strive to conclude the satisfactory agreement in a way that would be beneficial to us both sexually and emotionally.” She withdrew her hand cautiously and asked, “Are you a lawyer?” After explaining what it was that I did we chatted and talked, while I kept part of my attention focused on Felicia as she played in the park. When it was time to go I let Simoine go to her car before I called to Felicia, ”it's time to go baby, “I yelled. As Felicia made her way across the sandy covered ground I turned to see Simoine as she slid into her car seat. The split in her dress parted to reveal the secret smoothness of her inner thigh as she closed the door and turned the ignition. She waved one last time as her car left the parking lot. I kept waiting for my daughter to inquire as to who that woman was, as she had often did in the past when I talked to any female that she didn't already know. But she never said anything. The next day I returned to the park without my daughter and there parked and waiting was Simoine. I pulled up and expected to park, but before I could turn my car off she said, “Follow me” and drove off. I didn't know what this was about so I just obediently followed as I was told. We drove out of the city limits and on to the freeway. I checked my gas gauge to see how much gas I had. After about an hour of driving and just into the next county she pulled into a little cozy cottage type motel. The perverted side of me came out as I wondered if this was for real. She drove right up to one of the little cottages in the back that hid our cars from the freeway. I sat still in my car kind of stunned as she got out of her car and used a key to open the door. The door was left ajar as I got out and slowly walked in. No lights were on so I kept my hands on the door as I shut it. The moment the door lock clicked, I felt Simoine's breath on my face. There in the darkness my knees were like jelly, as we gently and slowly pressed our lips together. I felt a tug at my waist as Simoine undid my belt, releasing the tension on my pants. Then she undid the snap on my pants which fell to the floor. Simoine began to kiss me softly around my neck moving downward with each tender touch. That day I fell in love with this tall dark sensuous woman. After what seemed like hours of love making I lay exhausted peering at the ceiling reflecting the events of this day. Simoine sensed my deepness of thought and quietly asked”is something wrong?” I laughed a little and said “wrong? Nothing could be wrong. I just had the most incredible sexual experience in my life. How could it be any better?” “But I am curious, why did we move so fast?” She broke in “are you telling me you didn't want to make love to me? “No that's not what I'm saying; I just expected a little more time to get to know you” “Well I'm tired of guys always trying to be in control of the relationship... I wanted to be in control this time”, she said. That was the kind of woman Simoine was, and that was also part of her attraction. She knew what she wanted and she would let you know. We began seeing each other once then twice or more times a week. I began to look for excuses to leave home to be with her. It seemed like I was only happy when I was with my daughter or my lover. My wife became just a memory buried deep inside my heart and my life. And Simoine began to feel the pain when I couldn't spend the entire night with her. She constantly reminded me that she had given up a live in boyfriend, and that I needed to do my part to complete this relationship. As much as I loved Simoine I was not going to leave my child. Somewhere deep inside of me was a little voice that said, “I will not do to my child what was done to me. I will always be there for my daughter” So here I am caught between a rock and a hard place, realizing that I have a woman whom I love unconditionally, but also loving the mother of my child enough to not want to hurt her or leave the joy of my life, Felicia. This brings us up to date as I head home, thinking about the inevitable discussion I was going to have to have with Thelma. After all it wasn't fair that she not know what was going on. We had not been making love for weeks at a time, and even then it seemed that we just went through the motions. Unlike making love to Simoine which was always torrid and passionate and very spontaneous. As I entered the house looking for signs that my wife had been there, I noticed the clock. She was noticeably late and it was her day to pick up Felicia, so I figured the two of them were out shopping or doing some girl stuff. “Brrrring, brrrring” went the phone. I checked the caller ID to see who it was. It rang again before I noticed the name on the ID “Greenville General Hos”. Immediately my heart began to beat faster as I lifted the receiver to my ears. I knew that it was the hospital calling, but I figured it was someone who had been in the hospital awhile or some kind of bill collection call. Nothing prepared me for the message that came over the line “Mr. Ross this is the South Carolina Highway Patrol...I'm sorry to tell you that your wife and daughter have been involved in a serious accident. They are both in critical condition here at the hospital” I'm not sure if I said anything for a couple of seconds, because the voice at the other end of the phone was saying “sir are you there?” as I seem to be realizing what had happened I replied “yes I'm here, I will be there immediately” I grabbed my keys and cell phone and quickly headed out the door. Thoughts of dread were racing through my head as I tried to keep optimistic hope that they would both be all right. I also began thinking about my promise to tell Felicia about my affair. I decided that it had to end now...my wife and daughter would need me now more than ever. Simoine would just have to understand; as much as I loved her I'm not the kind of man that runs when his family needs him the most, no matter what the situation is. I may be an adulterer, but I am not a deserter. I arrived at the hospital still a bit frazzled and made my way in to the emergency area. My mother in-law and my wife's two sisters were sitting in the family room all of them crying and comforting each other. When I entered the room one of her sisters, Sarah just burst into tears. At this I feared the worst and immediately began questioning Thelma's mother,”What happen? Where's Thelma? Where's Felecia?” Thelma's mother Carole grabbed me and said Martin “listen to me...Felicia is in critical condition and they are operating on her right now.” “And Thelma?” I asked, afraid of what was going to come out of her mouth. “She is not doing well at all...in fact she is in a coma and the doctors can't do anything else for her” I stood motionless as tears welled up in my eyes. It was worst than I thought, and no one could ever know the pain that was aching in my heart. After pulling my emotions together and drying the well of tears from my face I went back to the desk and ask for an update on my wife and child. The nurse at the desk was very kind and went to see if she could get the doctor to come and talk to me. After about five minutes she returned with a young man who seemed to be in his early twenties. I was a little ticked that my wife and daughter were probably in the hands of someone so young, but now was not the time to debate such an issue. As it turned out he was a very intelligent doctor, with a demeanor that suggested he was much older. He explained that Thelma was suffering from a fractured skull, and that a part of her brain tissue had to be removed to repair the damage. Even if she fully recovered there was a chance that permanent brain damage would make her mentally handicapped. I shook my head as if I understood what the doctor was saying, but deep inside me I only knew that my wife as I knew her was gone. She would never be that woman I fell in love with again, only a shell of the woman that made me happy whenever she could. Then the doctor told me about Felicia, she was in stable condition suffering a broken arm. The doctor said he believed that she was asleep when the accident occurred, so she was spared the visual trauma. But that also made it possible for her to have internal injuries that would not show up until she regained consciousness. I began to feel useless, so I ask the doctor if there was anything that I could do. "As always" he said, "you can donate blood and get plenty of rest." He said he would contact me if there were any change in the status of my wife or daughter. I went back up to the desk and asked the friendly nurse if I could give blood for my daughter. She smiled and told me to follow her. We walked through two doors and down a hall, she then pointed at a nurse sitting at a little booth and told me to see her and give her all my family information. I turned and watched her as she walked away. Then I walked over to the booth where she had pointed. This older nurse was not friendly at all, but she was very professional. She refused to make eye contact as she took my name and ask me all those embarrassing sexual questions that they have to ask. I kept thinking about my daughter lying helpless and decided that no matter what the doctors said I was going to get a view of my daughter before I left so I could feel assured that she was alright. As the needle pierced my vein, the slight pain made me flinch slightly. I think the nurse for the first time smiled just a little bit. The rest of the blood donation process seemed to be a blur as my thoughts all drifted to my wife and my daughter. I couldn't get the thought of my daughter out of my mind as she always said “daddy be careful” when ever I left home without her. Finally the nurse said, "you can go", without any type of “goodbye” or “see ya later” or anything. But I was really kind of glad to get away from her. I finally found my way back to the waiting room where Thelma's mother and sisters were all sitting. I walked up and without directing my voice to anyone specific I said, "I gotta go see them." I then went back once again to the desk and ask the nurse to please tell the doctor I was getting crazy out here. I desperately need to see my family if I can. She made a phone call to somewhere and then after hanging up politely pointed a curled finger at me that indicated for me to follow her. I followed her as best as could, she seemed to be floating as she wheeled down a hall, up a flight of stairs and through a set of doors that she had to use her picture card to gain entry. I noticed the old hospital smell; it was the same as it had been four years ago when Felicia was born. Then she came to a stop and motioned me to a window, “this is as close as you can get right now,” she said. I edged up close and peered through the little window. There on the hospital bed lay my wife with tubes running in her mouth and throat. All kind of wires attached to her body, and a big tube in her mouth that seemed to be regulating her breathing. The tears welled up again as I looked at my beautiful wife in a way I‘ve never seen her before. I could see through all the wires and tubes and even the bandages in my view were gone. I could hear the laughter as she played with Felicia before she put her to bed. I could smell the aroma of her bath oil as she always left floating in the air of our bathroom. And I can still feel the tenderness of her kiss on my lips as she insisted on every day we had been married. I stood fixated looking in the little window what seemed like an hour, but I'm sure it was only a couple of minutes. Then the nurse said, “C'mon we can get in to see your daughter”. We went to the elevator and then rode to the sixth floor. After exiting the elevator we walked through two doors and down a long hall. There were pictures on the wall of cartoon characters and other little children things. She stopped at the next door and instructed me to go directly to her room by the number she had written on a piece of paper. I walked through the doors confident in my thoughts that my little girl was going to be all right. I looked at each number as I walked by each room. Finally I came to the number that was on the piece of paper. I opened the door slowly to the dim lit hospital room. The curtain was pulled around to the other side of the bed so I walked around the bed tenderly hoping not to wake Felicia if she was asleep. As I rounded the closed circle of the curtain, her smiling face greeted me as she came into view. “Hey Daddy” she said barely able to open her mouth. Just seeing her smile made me feel blessed. She was in a little pain but she was fighting not to show it. I bent down and kissed her softly and told her “you just take it easy and get some rest; your aunts will be up here to see you soon. She closed her eyes and weakly drifted off to sleep. I returned downstairs to the waiting room and reported to my in-laws everything I could remember about what the doctor said. I also told them about Felicia waking up when I went to see her, and then everyone wanted to go up and see her. I had not worked overly hard that day, but for some reason I was dogged tired. I moved to one of the cushioned chairs that were sitting around the room. I had dozed off a bit when I raised up and noticed the old nurse who had taken my blood, and the nice nurse at the desk along with my mother-in-law were all having a heated conversation. And as I rose up one by one they each looked at me. I knew something was wrong so I adjusted my self and clothes and walked over to them and said, ”What is it? Is something wrong with my family?” At that my mother-in-law turned and walked away. The old nurse shook her head and turned to me. “Mr. Ross there is a problem with your blood” “Oh my god have I got something?” I blurted out. “No no “ she said, “nothing like that at all” And then she said the most horrible thing I have ever heard. She said, “I'm afraid you will have to contact your daughter's biological father to donate blood” The words seem to echo in my mind, “biological father, biological father, biological father,” I grab the nurse firmly with both hands, not realizing I was hurting her arms until she said ”stop you're hurting me”. I slowed down my thought process and tried to calmly talk to her “what do you mean her biological father? I am her biological father”. The old nurse looked at me with tears in her eyes, and I realized that it was the first time I had seen her look vulnerable since I had met her. “I'm afraid with the blood type you have and the type your daughter has there is no possible way you can be her real father” she said. I glanced up at my mother-in-law and noticed she wouldn't bring her eyes up to look at me. Everyone else in the waiting room was staring at me in disbelief, some with their hand partially covering their mouth as if they were watching a movie unfold. When I noticed all the people staring at me I lost all control. I felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart as a searing pain shot through me. My knees buckled and collapsed underneath me as I cupped my face in my hands and cried like a little baby, there in front of my wife's family and total strangers. I felt so alone. Then I felt two hands touching me and a voice saying, “Martin get up... it will be all right”. It was my mother-in-law. I sputtered, “Did you know?” “No sweetheart I had no idea“ was all she kept saying as she helped me get to my feet. Just then the nurse behind the desk said “Mr. Ross The doctor says you all need to come to your wife's room right away.” I don't know what kind of feelings were going through my mind as we walked down the corridor to the elevator. I tried to wipe the tears from my face but the tears just kept coming. I tried to block out my emotions as I anticipated the situation we were about to face. The ride up seemed to take forever. And when the doors opened I burst out behind the nurse nearly knocking over an elderly lady trying to exit the elevator too. As we entered the room I was enraged deep inside, but the serene look on the doctor's face made my heart burn with remorse and pain as my beautiful wife lay inside the mass of wires, pumps and electronic equipment. I was suddenly curious why there were no nurse's or other doctors in the room... I thought this was an emergency but no one seemed to be in a frantic or desperate mode. It was then that I realized the seriousness of the situation. The doctor stood at the foot of her bed and began slowly explaining to us that Thelma was literally at death's door. The medication wasn't working and there was nothing else they could do. I stood looking down at my wife's swollen face, thinking about the big secret that she had hid from me all this time. But there was no anger, just a sense of guilt for my indiscretions. Somehow I knew anger should be in my heart but there was none as I thought of my own secrets that I had hid from her all this time. Just then a bell in the electrical equipment went off. The doctor went into an emergency mode ordering everyone but Thelma's mother out of the room. The doctor quickly moved to the side of the bed, and retrieved some type of machine out of the corner of the room. The doctor yelled something into the intercom and plugged it up. Two nurses rushed into the room and frantically started pressing buttons and uncovering Thelma's chest area. Everything seemed like a blur as they fought hard to save my wife's life. They were screaming hospital language that meant nothing to me until one nurse said “she's gone” I don't know why but I jumped up and left in a dead run. I burst through the doors, and down the steps, the elevator was too slow. The security guard at the front desk tried to stop me but I was too fast as I bolted out the hospital doors. I could hear radios and men yelling in the background as I jumped into my car and sped away. I had to find someone to talk to who could understand the rage, shock, guilt, and feelings of betrayal that were bursting in my mind and heart. At first I didn't know where I was going until I realized that I was near Simoine's apartment. I felt a sense of relief. She was the someone I could talk to. She would help see me through this horrible situation that had engulfed my life. I got out of the car and noticed that her bedroom light was the only light on. She is probably asleep or lying in bed I thought as I climbed the two flights of stairs. I took the key that she had given me and quietly let myself in careful as not to awake her if she was asleep. I had walked in this apartment before in the dark so it was easy to find my way to the bedroom. I was not prepared for the scene that greeted me as I opened the bedroom door. There in her bed was Simoine and her ex boyfriend grunting and moaning furiously. At the sound of the door the guy jump up and grabbed his pants. He had put them on so fast I hardly even noticed him. I just stood looking at the bed where they had been as the scene played over and over in my mind. I could hear Simoine talking but I could not tell what she was saying. After what seemed like ten minutes, I staggered back towards the door preparing to leave. It was then that I heard Simoine say “you can't blame me for this... you were not going to leave your wife”... I turned half way in the door and looked her straight in the eyes, “you are so right Simoine... who am I to cast the first stone”. I walked out the door letting the key fall inside the door as I closed it securely. I must have driven for hours when I found myself in front of the hospital. I parked my car and walked down the walkway to the entrance. I stopped just in front of the doors remembering the scene here as I had left earlier. I peered through the side window at the security desk. It was not the same guard so maybe I could go unnoticed. About that same time an elderly couple came up the walkway and entered the doors. I followed right behind seeking to blend in with them. The guard barely looked up as we walked by. I reached the floor where Felicia was when I had left. There was the nurse who had been at the emergency room desk. As I came in the nurse station area she immediately smiled and said “hi I knew you would be back... your daughter is doing fine and she has been asking for you” “Your daughter” the words seem to echo in my mind. She was all that was left of my little family and she wasn't even mine. I walked in her room as she lay with her head on the pillow and sat down in the chair beside her bed. There on the little table laid a plain medium sized bible that seemed to have a spot light shining on it as I picked it up... I let it open to whatever page it wanted, and read the passage before me... Matthew 12:31 “all manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men...” As I pondered the verse I looked up to see Felicia moving her head slowly. Her little eyes just lit up as she realized I was there. And even though she was in pain she mustered a cute funny smile. “Hey daddy, where have you been?” she struggled to say. “I have been checking on mommy baby” I lied. In my mind I thought soon I will have to tell her mommy is gone and that her real daddy is somewhere out there. She looked up at me with those trusting eyes and said, “I love you daddy”. I looked down at my hand as I was clutching the worn bible tightly... a single tear drop formed and fell and I realized everything would be all right. THE END Tweet
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