THE MAN WHO TIDIED UP THE PLANET (standard:science fiction, 1207 words)
Author: Danny Raven	Added: May 14 2004	Views/Reads: 3686/2382	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Darcy owns half the planet Earth and decides it needs tidying up!

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

But back to our story. The cities and towns and villages featured next
on my list and although time consuming, all were eventually left in 
neat, pristine condition - my army of specifically programmed Droids 
excelling themselves. Of course, the usual large bribes to the usual 
outstretched hands somewhat facilitated the task. 

Next I moved on to the countryside. The countryside ! Good grief, have
you ever noticed how untidy God actually is !? I mean, all those plants 
and weeds and trees and bushes growing haphazardly everywhere with no 
thought whatsoever for neatness and tidiness ! No. They had to go. 
Everything was removed and replaced by realistic versions my scientists 
specially devised. To pacify those irritating conservationists, I did 
leave some of the real forests, plants and bushes. All in precise rows 
of course and all neatly tended and trimmed. 

Now I turned my attention to the oceans and beaches. The oceans ! Those
damn fish ! If only they'd keep still for a while ! Always darting and 
zigzagging around and thoroughly grating on one's nerves. Well not any 
more. All were removed and I mean all. Naturally they were replaced 
with marvellous specimens of Darcy's Droids, exquisitely crafted in one 
of my laboratories. Now they hang in neat and tidy lines, gently 
swaying in the ocean current, a delight to the aesthetic eye. 

The ocean floors I had bulldozed flat - too many caverns and crevices
there for my liking and the beaches were ploughed and left in neat 
furrows. No-one is permitted to use them any more, of course, lest they 
disturb the furrows. 

The polar regions were relatively simple to attend to - snow being
pleasantly neat to start with. Some more bulldozing for a uniform 
flatness and that was that. 

Lastly came the equatorial regions and what a nightmare they were !
Lianas and vines and trees and rotting vegetation and those irritating 
animals ! Everything had to go, especially the animals - I mean, all 
that screeching and throwing half-eaten food around ! It simply 
wouldn't do. No. Everything was removed and as before, replaced with 
yet more of Darcy's Droids. 

My task of tidying up the planet took just over a year and project
recently completed, I was relaxing once again on my favourite balcony, 
enjoying brandy and cigar. If truth be told, I was actually starting to 
feel at rather a loose end, for although content  in the knowledge of a 
tidy planet, the inactivity of the last few days was beginning to jar 
and I was unconsciously searching around for my next project. 

I had been reflectively puffing on my cigar and admiring how neatly the
soft evening breeze dispersed the smoke when I happened to glance 
upwards - and lo and behold, there was my next project staring me in 
the face !...... The heavens !!...... The night skies !!!......Ever 
notice how untidy all those stars look !?! 

END 


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