A Man of Mystery (standard:Creative non-fiction, 1739 words)
Author: Lori	Added: Apr 14 2004	Views/Reads: 3613/2327	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I know it kinda jumps from point to point. But, it's about a man that chooses to remain by not enclosing his email address. He's seen me for who I am. I'm grateful for that and for his kind words. Feedback is always accepted.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

soul. You look for what makes them tick, not what makes them stand out 
in a crowd. 

My actual life is what I tend to write about. It's what I know because
I've lived it. Maybe no one else could have lived my life, that's what 
I believe. I think that's why I got the life I have. I'm strong enough 
to handle anything that comes my way. I have faith in myself and the 
man upstairs. He is the only one who has never let me down. He is the 
one that has made me as strong as I am. In His love, I shine! In His 
arms, I am an angel. In His eyes, I am loved. So, maybe I do tend to be 
a little {:-) } dramatic. But, I do know who and what I am. I am ME! 
And, for today, I'm proud to be me. 

You said that there is something to becoming a writer that stuck in my
head. You said it's the willingness to be lonely sometimes, to find the 
courage of your heart, and to begin at the top of the page. Lonely I 
have down pat; I know the feeling of loneliness. Not only of being 
alone, but also the loneliness feeling even when you're surround by a 
group of people. The lonely feeling you get knowing that you don't 
stand out. Not because of who you are, but the way you look or behave. 

I'm actually a shy person around strangers. I don't warm up to people
easy. I would rather write it all down and throw it up on the Internet, 
then to talk to someone close to me.  If you were to meet me on the 
street, I would be just another person to you. There would be nothing 
that you would notice to make you do a double take. I blend in to the 
group. It's to protect myself mainly. But, it's also the feeling of 
being rejected too. I have been known to go out of my way to be 
unattractive. Just to not have to be rejected. 

The question is though, how do you find the courage of your heart? Yes,
I have courage that I know. I have given birth twice, once natural and 
the other was a c-section. I've withstood every obstacle in my path. 
I've done some things that I'm not proud of. It all took courage to do. 
So, what is the difference in the two? 

Or do you mean I have to be braver with myself? Is it to find the
courage within myself to make my life better? Is it to have the courage 
to finally take the bull by the horns and run with it? To say to the 
world, I'm alive now deal with it? Is this the courage of your heart? 

I'm glad that you see all those things about me. Do I believe them?
Maybe a part of me does. It's hard for me to see because of the face in 
the mirror. You say that it doesn't tell the whole story. You're right, 
it doesn't. But, it does tell you how others view you. How you look to 
the outside world, in other words. 

No, maybe not. Maybe it's just the way I view myself. If you can see
them, then other could too, right? Please don't take that the way it 
sounds, I just can't think of how to say it. But, maybe it's the way I 
want the world to see me. That way I would be “safe” again. To hide 
myself away from the world is to hide the world from myself. So, in the 
long run we are both protected. I'm protected from the hurt that the 
world inflicts on people. And the world is protected from someone who 
really doesn't want to live up to its standards. 

But, I do know this. I'm not perfect, nor do I try to be. I strive to be
myself in everything I do. I don't set out to hurt people, that's not 
nice. I try not to judge people.  I don't want bad things to happen to 
people, not even my ex-husband. If someone else were in my shoes, he 
might get the slow and painful death he deserves. But, not in mine, I 
respect him for being my children's father. 

You're a man of mystery only because you choice to be unreachable. I
know who you are, in the sense of your name like I said. I know some of 
your points of view. You are a man that is well liked. You are a man 
that is highly respected. But, yet you still don't include an email 
address =)! 

I hope you don't mind being brought into the spotlight, so to speak. I
just felt that you deserved something special for all your kindness. 
Two things I did want you to know, though. I am all woman {she says 
laughing}. I've been one since the day I entered this world almost 34 
years ago. The other is if I have to be the flower that blooms; I want 
to be a beautiful pink rose. 

Thank you for all of your kind words. They touched my deeply. They made
me see that everything may not be as bad as it seems at times. Now if 
you will excuse me, I'm going to go sleep in the sunshine. Maybe 
tomorrow, I can take on the world. But, for now and with your help, the 
world can handle itself for one day. 


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