Don't Get Mad, Get Even (standard:Satire, 4997 words)
Author: Steve Remington	Added: Sep 26 2003	Views/Reads: 4373/2885	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Ever wish you could get back at someone who duped you? Read how a retiree couple 'evened the score' in dramatic fashion. They are modern day Robin Hoods but they are the beneficiaries. Read, chuckle and ENJOY!

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

people.” 

“Simply that maybe it is time for us to get over being mad and get even.
We strive to be honest and conscientious but we are surrounded by an 
awful lot of people who are not. They will take advantage whenever and 
wherever they can and don't think twice about it.” 

“I couldn't agree more but what is your point, your plan?” 

“If we can come up with these three bums in a few minutes, think about
how many you could list if you went back over several years. The 
cleaning woman that you had back in Rochester who had been nicking you 
for small amounts of cash for years; the butcher that you caught 
putting a finger on the scale. My so-called pals who cheated at golf 
and I kept quiet and paid the bets. The guys I worked with who used the 
company credit card to fill up the gas tanks of their wives' cars. The 
bottom line is that they had larceny in their hearts and probably still 
do and we need to exploit their weaknesses.” 

“I still don't understand, Dennis. You are citing ‘water over the dam'
matters. How would you suggest that we get even with people like these, 
some of whom we have not encountered in years?” 

“Now you are reaching toward my idea. I would like you to take this
legal pad and spend the next few days listing big and small items such 
as we just covered. Try to put down names, places, and quick details 
and then I can expand on my idea.” 

“That sound a bit strange, my love, what exactly do you have in mind?” 

“I know it sounds crazy but let's use another old truism, ‘A tiger
doesn't change his stripes'. These kinds of people that we just 
mentioned will take advantage of people time and time again and maybe 
it is time to take advantage of them. I have a great morality test for 
everyone that you can list on that pad. Please humor me and give it a 
try. I'm already making a list and we may have some duplication but in 
a few days of thinking about it, I'll just bet that we can come up with 
a lot of episodes, large and small, of people who have used us for 
their gain. It's payback time.” 

<><><><> 

They surprised each other when they next considered Dennis' project. He
had 62 ‘cases' listed. Mary Ann, still in bewilderment about his plans, 
had just 30 on her list but when he began to detail his plan, she got 
so interested that she identified 77 other ‘cases' within a day. 
Dennis, a lifelong record keeper, probed his voluminous business and 
personal files and by the first week of December, he had added 180 
names to his list for a total of 242. It was time to combine efforts 
and decide on the next phase. 

An all-day kitchen table session was productive. They discussed the
names on their respective lists, dismissed about ten names but jointly 
came up with 27 more names. They pushed their joint total to 425 by 
December 16th and then again culled a few from the list. They took 
turns searching the Internet for mail addresses and email addresses 
with great success in a short span of time. 

They were getting excited about what they were doing but agreed that
‘The Get Even List', as they were calling it, was now sufficient for 
their plan. 

It was a spur-of-the-moment remark that pushed them to the next level.
Mary Ann sat in their breakfast nook, looking absentmindedly toward 
their patio bird feeder. She slowly began, “What do we do if this idea 
is successful to any degree, Dennis?” 

Dennis, deep into the morning newspaper, paused for a moment and then
said, “Quite honestly, I have not thought that part through to the 
finish, sweetheart. Got any ideas?” 

“Well, I think we need to plan to move on. Our lease on this condo is up
in March and frankly, I think that people may be looking for us after 
this venture occurs. Our names don't show up anywhere but it could get 
testy and I think we need to consider a new venue. If the plan works, 
we can't just leave the money sitting in the bank accounts that we are 
about to set up. We will need to ‘relocate' the money.” 

“Do I smell an idea here?” 

“Frankly, yes, you do. On of the best places to ‘reposition' the cash is
in the ‘Switzerland of the Caribbean', namely the Cayman Islands. I 
have spent a lot of time on the Internet in the last day or two and the 
Caymans are not only a good place to do some anonymous banking but a 
seemingly lovely spot to live. Since we have no hard plans for 
Christmas, why don't we take a holiday trip down there for a few days, 
scout it out and consider it while also having a lazy Christmas in the 
tropical sun?” 

“A month ago I was vetoing a trip to see the grandkids for Christmas but
hell, why not? The future needs a little more study.” 

<><><><> 

The trip was quickly put together. They flew out of Orlando on December
23rd without a hotel reservation in Grand Cayman. Feeling like 
youngsters again, they took with a ‘what the hell' attitude. 

A brief talk with a representative at the tourism booth in the
Georgetown airport put them in touch with a quaint little hotel in the 
town center but only a stroll from a beach. Mrs. Walker, the charming 
lady that ran the Cayman Breezes Hotel, suggested a small open-air 
restaurant near the pier that evening and the two 
seniors-cum-youngsters enjoyed a terrific meal of conch chowder and 
lobster and got politely tipsy on two bottles of very good Sauvignon 
Blanc. Dennis smiled every time his wife called him “Art”. They giggled 
through dinner, laughed raucously on the walk back to their hotel and 
slept late on the morning of Christmas Eve. 

By the evening of December 29, they had held several meetings in
Georgetown. Dennis met with banks and a lawyer, Mary Ann visited 
properties and realty firms. They also spent numerous hours on the 
balcony of their room and at the small pool behind the hotel finishing 
their plans. January was going to be a pivotal month in their lives. 
They headed home on an early morning flight on December 30. 

Dennis turned to May Ann as the plane tilted toward Seven Mile Beach
just after takeoff, held her hand and said, “I think we will be back 
here but on one-way tickets.” 

<><><><> 

The organizational work consumed them after the New Year. The List was
divided into ‘Gold' and ‘Silver' with the persons that they deemed to 
be guilty of the most egregious infractions over the years being 
designated for the ‘Gold Letter' list. 

To give authenticity to their mailings, they splurged on very expensive
stationery and envelopes. The stamps were all commemoratives and every 
letter was signed personally by one of them. All the work was done in 
their guest bedroom away from prying eyes of visitors. When any of 
their neighbors or friends came by, the door was locked. 

Mary Ann had spent three solid hours preparing the mailings on an
overcast January morning. She took a coffee break and found Dennis at 
their computer continuing his quest for more addresses, either email or 
mail. She sat in her favorite easy chair and said, “Take a little 
break, Dennis, and join me for a cup of coffee.” 

“Not a bad idea.” He got a fresh cup of coffee and sat down in his
recliner. “Is something on your mind, my love?” 

“Well, honestly, yes. I was just thinking, do you really believe this
caper will work? I get a bit nervous as the date gets closer. We have 
always done the so-called ‘right thing' and this venture worries me. ” 

“Quite honestly, I have had my own doubts here and there but I have come
to the conclusion that things will naturally fall in place due to the 
inherent avarice and duplicity that each of these people has exhibited 
to one or the other or both of us in the past. No doubt some, possibly 
many of them will try some form of legal action once they realize that 
they have been ‘had'.” 

“Yes, that is the part that disturbs me. Do you think your ‘Arthur
McCready' act will work?” 

“Mary Ann, it has already worked. I opened those two bank accounts with
an Arthur McCready birth certificate and Social Security card. After we 
‘get even' and someone, police or otherwise, gathers information from 
the banks, they will quickly hit a dead end. They will find that the 
real Arthur McCready died in childhood in Buffalo NY, that a duplicate 
birth certificate in his name was issued, supposedly to him, years 
after he died and a Social Security application was made just after the 
duplicate birth certificate was issued. There is no trail beyond that 
point.” 

“But what about the Cayman bank? The money can be traced from the
Florida accounts to Georgetown and you.” 

“Remember what I told you. ‘Arthur' has the Cayman bank account and will
transfer all of the money to Mary Ann Chatham as soon as he arrives 
there. The Cayman banking system is a mirror image of the highly 
secretive Swiss banks and the trail will stop at the door of the 
banking company in Georgetown.” 

“Tell me again, how did you get the ‘Arthur' identity?” 

“It was just a stupid college kid stunt by two fraternity boys. I had
read an article in a popular magazine for men of that era that defined 
ways to disappear. Creating a new name was one of them and the writer 
detailed the procedure. My buddy and I wondered about whether it would 
work and made a $5 bet, winner to be the first one with a birth 
certificate and a Social Security card. I lost by two days, paid the 
bet and threw the documents in my drawer. Thank God, I have always been 
a ‘pack rat.'” 

“Thanks for being a ‘pack rat', my love. Now back to work. And despite
your idea of using rubber gloves with the letters and stationery to 
avoid fingerprints, they are a bit of a pain and I feel like a doctor. 
But . . . consider the benefits. I am a doctor . . . I am helping us 
get well financially. I'm going back to work, ‘Art'”, and laughed as 
she pulled on her ‘work' gloves. “Remember that line from that movie of 
a few years ago, ‘Greed is good.' I think it applies to this endeavor.” 


<><><><> 

Gold letter – Fort Lauderdale penthouse -(To be sent using date of
January 16th.) 

Arthur T. McCready II Post Office Box 6747 – Winter Park, Florida 32719
Mr. / Ms. ________ Address City / State / Zip Dear Mr. / Ms.___________ 


You have undoubtedly heard of the recent sudden passing of my beloved
uncle, Arthur T. McCready, and wondered how that might affect the 
promise that he had made to you regarding his gift of two weeks in his 
penthouse apartment in Fort Lauderdale. 

I am his only surviving relative, executor of his will and sole heir of
his substantial estate. In my role, I discovered his correspondence in 
which he gifted you the use of this property in return for outstanding 
work that you had done for him. As you will recall, his offer was for 
the two week period from March 13 until March 27 of this year. 

Let me set you at ease. His passing does not negate this commitment. He
was a generous and decent man and in the spirit of his offer, his gift 
to you will be honored. However, it is incumbent upon me to advise you 
that the property is being readied for sale at present (painting, new 
bedroom carpeting and deck work around the private rooftop pool – all 
work to be completed by March 10th) and will be made available to the 
realtors on March 28th so the dates are not flexible. 

I must, however, impose two requirements on your holiday. The penthouse
is being sold “as is” which includes very expensive furniture and 
accoutrements. The asking price of $7.4 million exhibits the appraised 
value of the largest oceanfront penthouse apartment in Fort Lauderdale. 
In view of these facts and in the interest of assuring care and 
attention to the interior of this magnificent property, I must ask that 
you provide us with a fully refundable security deposit of $3,000 no 
later than February 15th. This deposit should be sent by wire transfer 
or email transfer (checks, drafts or money orders are not acceptable). 
We will assume that you do not wish to use the apartment if the deposit 
is not received by that date. Details for direct deposit to the 
estate's bank account are on the attached information sheet. Also, you 
are welcome to bring two adult guests but despite the large size of the 
apartment, we must restrict to a maximum of four people (no children 
under 18, please). 

I regret that this deposit must be imposed but I am sure that you will
appreciate our concern once you see this magnificent residence. Our 
property manager, who will greet you upon your arrival and familiarize 
you with the home, will also inspect on your final day and will refund 
your deposit in cash or cashier's check at that time. All other details 
concerning your visit are on the information sheet. 

Sincerely, Arthur T. McCready II 

Information sheet (separate page) 

Bank for security deposit: Sun First National Bank – Account # 34777466
– routing code for transfers – 166470009. A reminder: Money can be 
transferred by an Internet transfer (www.dollarshere.com is one 
suggested site) or your bank can arrange a wire transfer to this 
account. The email address for an Internet transfer is: 
atmccready@tominet.com. 

Property Address: Penthouse, 1747 S. Atlantic Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, FL
33316 

Property Manager: Gilbert Reston, PO Box 40004, Boca Raton, FL 33433.
Mr. Reston will be onsite on the day of your arrival and can answer any 
other questions at that time. Plan arrival after 2PM. 

All linens, towels, beach towels and robes are provided. Maid service is
daily. Groceries are available in the supermarket directly across Route 
A1A from the building or a shopping list can be provided to the 
concierge in the foyer for delivery to you within two hours. 

<><><><> 

Silver letter – Masters Golf Tournament – (to be sent with date of
January 16th) 

Arthur T. McCready II Post Office Box 6747 – Winter Park, Forida 32719 

Mr. / Ms. ________ Address City / State / Zip Dear Mr. / Ms. __________ 

You have undoubtedly heard of the recent sudden passing of my beloved
uncle, Arthur T. McCready, and wondered how that might affect the 
promise that he had made to you regarding his gift of his four tickets 
for this year's Masters Golf Tournament in Augusta, Georgia and the use 
of his penthouse apartment in Augusta during your visit – available 
Monday April 4 to Monday April 11. 

I am his only surviving relative, executor of his will and sole heir of
his substantial estate. In my role, I discovered his correspondence in 
which he gifted you the tickets and use of his property in return for 
outstanding work that you had done for him. 

Let me set you at ease. His passing does not negate this commitment. He
was a generous and decent man and in the spirit of his offer, his gift 
to you will be honored. The tickets will be mailed to you by Express 
Mail on March 16th. I must, however, impose one requirement on your 
Augusta visit. The penthouse is being sold “as is” which includes very 
expensive furniture and accoutrements. 

In view of this fact and in the interest of assuring care and attention
to the interior of this magnificent property, I must ask that you 
provide us with a fully refundable security deposit of $1,000 no later 
than February 15th. This deposit should be sent by wire transfer or 
email transfer (checks, drafts or money orders are not acceptable). We 
will assume that you do not wish to use the tickets and apartment if 
the deposit is not received by that date. Details for deposit to the 
estate's bank account are on the attached information sheet. 

I regret that this deposit must be imposed but I am sure that you will
appreciate our concern once you see this magnificent residence. Our 
property manager, who will greet you upon your arrival and familiarize 
you with the home, will also inspect on your final day and will refund 
your deposit in cash or cashier's check at that time. All other details 
concerning your visit are on the information sheet. 

Sincerely, Arthur T. McCready II 

PS – It is my understanding that these tickets have value above the face
amount. You may sell one or more of them, as you see fit but since the 
gift was made to you, I must insist on your presence and the property 
manager will expect picture identification upon arrival. Guests in the 
apartment other than yourself will be at your discretion but limited to 
three people. 

Information sheet (on a separate page) 

Bank for security deposit: Palm State Bank – Account # 51-3646-021 –
routing code for transfers – 088181766. A reminder: Money should be 
transferred by an Internet transfer (www.dollarshere.com is one 
suggested site) or your bank can arrange a wire transfer to this 
account. The email address for an Internet transfer is: 
atmccready@tominet.com. 

Property Address: 217 Washington Rd., Augusta, GA. 

Property Manager: Gilbert Reston. Mr. Reston will be onsite on the day
of your arrival and can answer any other questions at that time. Plan 
arrival after 2PM on Monday, April 4. 

All linens, towels, and robes are provided. Maid service is daily.
Groceries are available in the supermarket located ¼ mile from the 
building or a list can be provided to the concierge in the foyer for 
delivery to you within four hours. The Augusta National Golf Club is 
within walking distance. 

<><><><> 

Seventy-four people received the Gold letter. Twenty received it by
email, 53 by US Mail and one by Global Express mail. Upon reading the 
letter, the reactions ranged from disbelief to jubilation to shock. All 
finished the letter and said either to themselves or to others, ‘Who is 
Arthur T. McCready?” Within ten days, 31 recipients had transferred the 
deposit by Internet money transfer, 34 used bank wire transfer, eight 
wrote to the Post Office box for more details and two threw it away as 
mistaken mailing. The eight writers, who sent further inquiries, 
received responses that the offer had been withdrawn due to “legal 
impediments” with profuse apologies. 

On February 5th, Dennis Chatham, a/k/a Arthur T. McCready, entered a
bank in Melbourne, Florida, signed the necessary papers to close the 
account and wire transferred $195,000 to a joint account in Universal 
Limited Banking Group in Georgetown, Grand Cayman Island, British West 
Indies. He withdrew the $100 in cash that he had used to open the 
account. 

<><><><> 

Three hundred thirty-four people received the Silver letter. Two hundred
four received it by mail, 126 by email and four by Global Express mail. 
Upon reading the letter, the reactions ranged from disbelief to 
jubilation to shock. Just as with the Gold letter, all finished the 
letter and said either to themselves or to others, ‘Who is Arthur T. 
McCready?” Within ten days, 191 recipients had transferred the deposit 
by Internet money transfer, 114 used bank wire transfer, 23 wrote to 
the PO box for more details and six threw it away as mistaken mailing. 
The twenty-three writers received responses that the offer had been 
suddenly withdrawn due to “legal impediments”. 

On February 6th, Dennis Chatham entered a bank in Ocala, Florida, signed
the necessary papers to close the account and wire transferred $300,000 
to a joint account in Universal Limited Banking Group in Georgetown, 
Grand Cayman Island. The balance of $5,100 was given to him in cash. He 
had used $100 of his own money to open the account. 

<><><><> 

On February 26, Dennis and Mary Ann moved out of their condominium after
storing their possessions in two storage lockers. The same evening, 
they were guests of honor at a going away party hosted by several 
friends. They had explained their sudden decision to move as the result 
of an ‘unexpected inheritance'. 

On February 28, they checked in with maximum baggage allowances and
one-way tickets at Orlando International Airport for Flight 5014, 
American Airlines to Miami, transferring to Flight 1028 to Georgetown, 
Grand Cayman Island, British West Indies. By afternoon, they checked 
into a suite at the Hyatt Regency hotel on Seven Mile Beach. 

On March 2, they met in the suite with Trevor MacNeill, a local realtor,
and gave him a cashier's check for $332,414.22 for the purchase of a 
bi-level, modern white stucco villa on a hillside facing Seven Mile 
Beach and the setting sun. They also emailed a message to a shipping 
and moving company in Orlando informing them to deliver the contents of 
Locker #B12 to a furniture consignment store and deliver the contents 
of Locker #B14 to a freight forwarder at Port Canaveral for shipment to 
an address in Grand Cayman. The company replied that they should have 
their shipment by March 25. 

On March 3, ‘Arthur T. McCready' transferred the balance in his account
to a new account in the same bank in the name of Mary Ann Chatham. 
Dennis also visited at length with a stock broker, recommended by the 
attorney who handled the purchase of their villa. He told Mary Ann that 
he proposed an investment that would generate a constant 10%-15% return 
on their money. Mary Ann left $10,000 in her bank account and 
transferred the rest to the broker the next day. 

On March 13, the police in Fort Lauderdale had several reports of fraud
after dozens of people, just arrived in the city by air, learned that 
there was no such address as 1747 S. Atlantic Blvd., nor was there a 
grocery store opposite that location, nor was there any phone listing 
for an Arthur T. McCready, nor could a Gilbert Reston be found there or 
in nearby Boca Raton. An investigation by the Fraud Division ensued in 
the aftermath of the multiple complaints. 

On the same day, a joyous family reunion occurred at the Owen Roberts
airport on Grand Cayman as Sean and Lisa Chatham and their three boys, 
all very tired but smiling, arrived on a connecting flight from Miami 
after an eight-hour journey from London. They looked forward to two 
weeks in the Caribbean sun. 

On March 18 and for several days thereafter, the Augusta, Georgia police
began to receive irate phone calls. Upon checking they determined that 
217 Washington Blvd. was the location of an auto transmission shop 
operated by one Levon Cartwright, who knew nothing of a person named 
Arthur McCready. A check for phone listings for Arthur T. McCready and 
Gilbert Reston was met with similar dead ends. As the calls mounted, 
the Fraud squad was called into action. At least four complaints of an 
identical nature was received every day for two weeks and Levon 
Cartwright actually encountered four belligerent and slightly 
inebriated men on the day that the Masters Tournament began practice 
rounds, demanding to know just where in hell were their tickets and 
their apartment. He disregarded them, saying that he had no f****ing 
idea what they were talking about. 

On March 26, Dennis and Mary Ann hugged and kissed their grandsons at
the Georgetown airport as they prepared to leave for London. Sean 
pulled his father away and began slowly walking with him along the 
open-air concourse. He turned to his father and said, “Dad, I can't go 
without asking you something. My curiosity is overwhelming. How did you 
and Mom . . . I mean what happened to enable you to . . . well, you 
know, where did the money suddenly come from to have this wonderful 
change of lifestyle, buy us plane tickets to come visit? I don't get 
it.” 

Dennis paused and turned toward his well-tanned son and said, “Do you
ever recall Grandma Chatham often using the old saying, ‘Don't get mad, 
get even'? Well, your mother and I just got even and that is all I will 
say.” Then, he hugged Sean. 

They waved and cried as the plane pulled away from the gate and then
walked slowly arm-in-arm to their car, a new Volvo convertible. On the 
way, Mary Ann said to Dennis in a sheepish voice, “I have a bit of a 
confession to make. Just as they got ready to board, I hugged Sean, 
gave him a check for $5,000 and said, ‘Buy some nice things for the 
boys.' He looked quickly at the check and said, ‘Dad is right. You did 
get even.'” 

They laughed out loud. 

On May 19th, the Augusta police sent a form letter to the 200+
complainants about their lost deposits. The letter basically advised 
them they would keep the files open but dedicated efforts by 
investigators had developed no clues to the perpetrator or his/her 
location. A referral had been made to the US Postal Service's fraud 
division. 

On June 4th, the Fort Lauderdale police contacted the USPS fraud
division and advised them by official memo that they were forwarding 
the list of complaints and indicating that investigators had found no 
leads to the perpetrator(s). 

On July 29th, Gregory Swenson, Director – Postal Fraud Division, United
States Postal Service, Orlando, Florida sent a letter to 217 
complainants advising them that investigations, thus far, had been 
fruitless but the file would be kept active for one year. 

On the evening of August 13th, Dennis and Mary Ann Chatham hosted twelve
new friends for a festive buffet supper in their home to celebrate 
their 39th wedding anniversary. The guest seemed perplexed by the 
unusual toast that Dennis proposed, “Whenever things are bleak, don't 
get mad, get even.” Mary Ann laughed and kissed him and the guests, 
caught up in their happiness, lifted their glasses and jointly said, 
“Happy Anniversary!” The sun slid slowly into the Caribbean as they 
touched glasses in the fading orange glow. 

© Steve Remington 


Tweet