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To Bee or Not to Be (standard:other, 4710 words) | |||
Author: Tom Soukup | Added: Feb 21 2003 | Views/Reads: 3225/2410 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
A very finnicky gardener finds that he's met his match with some very nasty bees. | |||
Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story appointment. By the time he reached the old doc's office only three miles away, Jeremy had a raging fever and the swelling had begun to take up residence in his shoulder and wrist. His throat was starting to swell as well and he had a hard time even telling the nurse what had happened. He was released from the hospital four days later (that's two years, three months and two days ago just in case you lost count) and, with this new revelation that he was cursed with some sort of hyper-sensitivity to insect bites, he vowed that there would never be a living thing possessing anything more than four legs inside the perimeter of his land. And he wasn't all that sure about four-legged beasts either, insect-carriers that they were. So Jeremy ended up with one of the most impressive gardens in the neighborhood and a shed full of bottles and cans that would make a chemical warfare depot look like a candy shop. It was late in the evening, sometime after ten o'clock but he really wasn't sure just when because the clock was on the kitchen wall and he was sunk deep into his favorite chair in the living room with the latest Follet best-seller pressed to his nose, when he heard the buzzing. Distant, maybe, and he wasn't quite sure if it was inside or out. He cradled the book on his thumb to hold his place and glanced around the room. The buzzing seemed to stop and he could only hear the silent sounds of the house, the wind brushing the windows of the dining room and a drop of water from the leaky faucet patting into the drain in the hall bathroom. He shook his head. "Must be crazy," he said and he bent forward to slide the antique footstool closer. The buzzing started again and was punctuated by a tip-tip sound that his trained ear recognized at once as the battering of a tiny insect body against a window somewhere. He closed the book after bending one of the pages to mark his place ("Don't dog-ear the pages," Marla used to scold before she left him and his insecticidal tendencies for the comparative comfort of divorce) and stood as quietly as he could in the center of the room. The buzzing was there, all right. He followed it to the living room window, the big one that faced out into the back yard. There in the corner, crawling upside down at the top edge, was a single bee. It traced its steps back and forth in apparent search for a way out, only to be caught in its own frustration to buzz and fly, bashing once again into the glass . . . tip-tip. Jeremy felt the bristle of gooseflesh travel his arms once more, a repeat of his encounter with this morning's spider, and vivid thoughts of his stay in the hospital two years, three months and . . . ago danced just behind his vision. "A word of warning to you, Jeremy," Doctor What's-his-name said on his discharge. "Another bite like this one might cause you permanent damage. Your body wants to react violently to the venom of these little creatures. Oh, and by the way," he added just before he closed the door to answer his page, "something like a single bee-sting could be fatal." There probably aren't more than a handful of phrases that have that kind of impact. "Such-and-such could be fatal." Okay . . . you've got my attention. Jeremy backed away from the window with those words crossing his vision like ticker tape. He reached down without losing sight of the bee and picked up the "A" section of Sunday's paper. He rolled it up tighter than a baseball bat and cradled it in his sweating hands to measure the weight of it. He took a step toward the window. "You're going to be sorry that you . . ." he cautioned the insect. The bee continued its steps, making its way back and forth along the edge of the window, unaware of this human predator stalking it. It flew again (buzz . . . buzz), drawn by the warmth of the window, and it hit the glass once more (tip . . . tip). And Jeremy swung a mighty swing at the bee, the sound cracking sharply in the otherwise silent room. He stepped back quickly, beads of sweat rolling down his temples, his eyes never leaving the spot. The bee tumbled from the top of the window frame, falling to the sill below. Jeremy smiled. But the blow had been only a glancing one, and the stunned insect used the remains of its weakened energy to crawl helplessly into the crack at the edge of the window. Jeremy stepped closer, carefully to be sure, the paper-weapon held high in the air, but the bee was gone. He inspected the glass, figuring that the bee must have made it into that small space only to die in the solitude of it. But what he found was that the bee had somehow survived, living through the incident to emerge on the other side and fly away to safety. "Damn," he mumbled under his breath then, disappointed that he hadn't made the kill as he had with so many of the pests that invaded his garden, but happy nonetheless that he was rid of this one. "A single bee sting could be fatal," the doctor had said. Jeremy relaxed a bit and looked nervously around the room. There was no more buzzing or tip-tipping. He turned to get back to his novel when a slight movement caught his eye. There on the window sill near the point where the bee made its escape was one of its legs, twitching its final twitches . . . a purely biological movement caused by final reflex muscular activity . . . but enough to raise the hairs on Jeremy's arm once more. He ran his hand down his arm to settle the nerves. "Let's see just how far you get with one leg missing . . . missing, hah," he said. * * * Three days had passed since the bee incident and even the last traces of it had passed from Jeremy's mind. He had spent the day puttering around in his garden, fertilizing the roses, weeding the pansies . . . and applying another healthy dose of the latest insecticide he picked up at the hardware store. Nothing moved in the garden except the bright leaves in the gentle push of the afternoon breeze. There was a slight chill in the air, so he figured that the last of the pruning could wait until tomorrow. He turned from the garden and went into the house. As he washed his hands there at the kitchen sink thinking about what he was going to prepare for dinner, he heard a faint buzzing sound once again. It was coming from the living room and was loud enough that it took him a moment to realize that it wasn't there with him in the kitchen. He opened the swinging door that separated the two rooms, just a crack at first, and the sound roared in his ears. Peering cautiously through the opening, he saw eight or ten bees, maybe more, swarming at the window, some in flight, others busying themselves in the very corner of the frame. They were working frantically at building a nest . . . or a hive, or whatever you call it . . . they were building something in that corner and he could see the fragile brown structure taking shape. Jeremy let the door swing shut silently and he pressed his back against the cool metal of the refrigerator nearby. His eyes darted back and forth around the room, his terror-struck mind searching for a clue to his next move. "The Raid," he said desperately. "The wasp-killer Raid." It was that special spray can, the one that could shoot up to fifteen feet. "One miserable little stinging bug must be pretty much like the next," he figured. "Wasp . . . bee, what's the difference? It ought to work." He ran out the back door and across the yard to the tool shed. Cans and bottles hit the floor as he hysterically sought just the right one. It too slid from his trembling hands but he caught it before it hit the floor. Jeremy felt his terror subside, maybe just a little, and he went back into the kitchen with the can of Raid held in front of him like a machine gun. He pushed the swinging door open just that little bit and the bees . . . there were actually twelve of them at the window . . . never noticed the intrusion. They busied themselves at their predestined work. Jeremy took aim as best he could with the clumsy aerosol can and held the button down with so much vigor that the tip of his finger raged red from the pressure. The stream of toxin shot easily across the distance to the window, a single shaft of liquid that broke up only as it splashed across the glass. The startled bees took to flight, hovering nearby in confusion. He adjusted his aim slightly, knocking each insect from the air, coating them in the deadly fluid, drenching the flimsy start of the hive until it shifted slightly only to fall sodden beside the already dead bees. Jeremy continued until the can spit its last drop and he found that the trembling in his hands spread to his entire body. He was breathing heavily. "Gotcha," he said and he broke into a nervous laugh. He didn't sleep much that night. * * * The morning dawned later than it should have due to the heavy layer of clouds that hung low in the sky. Rain fell lightly and sent zigzag streaks across the windows in Jeremy's bedroom. It was one of those rainshowers that was likely to last most of the day. It was one of those rainshowers that was regularly welcomed by Jeremy's garden. Jeremy walked into the kitchen to fix a light breakfast. Coffee and a little toast would do it for today. There wouldn't be much outdoor activity to work off a heavier meal so there was no point in putting one away. He busied himself shuffling through the unpaid bills while the toaster did its own job and Mr. Coffee perked happily along. He didn't hear the buzzing sound at first . . . Mr. Coffee wasn't as quiet as he was a few years ago in his younger days. When he did hear it, he shook his head thinking the sound was just the remnants of yesterday's experience. But it didn't shake away. He approached the door to the living room and the noise grew with each step. Those damn bees must be back. Well, not the same bees . . . they met with the drenching death of Raid yesterday . . . but new bees that must have heard that this was a good place to live. Bad advice for sure. Jeremy had another can of wasp killer in the shed and if it worked once, it'd work again. He pushed the door open just a bit. The buzzing rung loudly in his ears. The room was dark. He figured that was because of the dull weather just outside. But as his eyes adjusted somewhat to the dim light, he saw the bees. Thousands of bees . . . maybe millions of bees. They covered the window, crawling busily across the frame and each other, taking to flight just a few inches away, then settling into a new position to hustle back into the crowd, back to whatever work was being carried out so desperately underneath. Jeremy stood there mesmerized, panic slithering up his back and squeezing the very breath out of him. He wanted to run, wanted to get the biggest can of Raid ever made, but he knew that it wouldn't be enough. Instead, he swung the living room door wide and stepped inside. The bees paid him no attention. They continued their activity, undaunted by the intruder. He stepped closer, closer than he knew he should, but closer to see what he had such difficulty believing he was seeing. They never even turned their little heads his way, never brought him into their kaleidoscopic vision, didn't seem to care or feel threatened. He saw them scurry across the teaming surface, stopping momentarily to rub their tiny legs together to remove the pollen that was stuck there. It was a rhythmic motion, soothing almost, a tireless action that drew Jeremy even closer, brought him within two feet of the bees, carelessly close, dangerously close. "A single bee sting could kill you." Terror sunk its claws in savagely, so suddenly that Jeremy wondered where the soft wheezing sound was coming from long before he realized that it was the start of a scream building inside him. The bees stirred as a single mass, perhaps feeling his terror, perhaps smelling it on him. They can do that, you know; they can actually smell it. Jeremy ran from the room, ran from the house and stood against the back yard shed, the rain pasting his hair against his forehead, diluting the salty sweat of fear and blending with it to run in brackish rivulets across his cheeks. He stared at the back door expecting it to be thrown open suddenly, a black swarm of angry bees hovering just inside the jamb, assembling in deadly ambush. His heart pounded hammers inside his chest. What would he do? What could he do against such odds? "A single sting . . ." What about a million stings? Would it really even matter? Dead's dead, ain't it? And then it came to him. He ran from the shed to his car parked just beside the house. Mighty close to the building, but he had to risk it if there was going to be any way at all to avoid what they were planning there inside on the window. He ran sideways, crab-like, never taking his eyes from the door just in case. He nearly ripped a fingernail loose pulling on the handle of the car door but it opened and he slid inside so slickly that he probably would have slid right out the other side had that door been open. He breathed heavily, relishing the safety. The vents. Frantically, he pushed the air conditioning vents closed, one by one in rapid succession, hoping that the thin louvers would keep an intruder out. "A single bee . . ." It'd only take one. He needed his car keys, dear God he needed those keys here and now. He slapped the pockets of his pants and his shirt so hard that he was probably leaving bruises that he wouldn't find until tomorrow. Where are those damn keys? He could feel the bees crawling on him now . . . sure it was just in his mind . . . but he could feel them as real as if they were trapped there in the car with him, torturing him, just crawling on him but not stinging until the moment was just right. Where are those keys? Don't still be inside the house, not the house. He raised up in the seat to pat down his back pockets when his knee hit something that jingled. The keys were there in the ignition switch all the time. There was buzzing in his ears . . . was it the bees or was it that he was teetering on the edge of consciousness? Which one do you even wish for at a time like this. He turned the key and the engine fired. But the buzzing, the buzzing was getting even louder and his vision blurred. He turned the key again and the starter screamed its objection. Jeremy jammed the lever into reverse and accelerated down the driveway, swerving wildly, mowing down the bug-free azaleas, gouging the pristine and sterile lawn deeply, throwing grass and mud until the tires found purchase on the street below and he raced away on tinges of blue smoke. And the bees continued their work. * * * The door to the living room opened just a crack once more. The bees went silent but their activity diminished little. Jeremy entered the room, confident, almost cocky, a knowing grin of superiority on his face behind the netting. He was clothed in one of those heavy protective suits worn by bee-keepers. The fabric was tough as nails and gathered tightly at the wrists and ankles. He wore heavy work boots, laced to mid-calf and tucked inside the tethered pant legs. A broad hood draped from the brim of the safari hat, clinging tightly to his shoulders and back, a window of tight mesh affording his hateful eyes just enough view. Clumsy gloves covered his hands as they clenched the heavy canister of industrial insecticide. He was prepared for the worst. There was no way for one of those nasty little killing machines to reach his tender skin. He was Rambo, the Terminator . . . the Black Knight. A few of the bees struck out from the rest, an investigating party no doubt. They flew rapidly around his head, landing on the thick canvas for a moment, taking flight again and surveying this intruder. The others slowed their pace, their wings at rest and their legs scissoring in that monotonous fiddling action, silently. Jeremy felt his own fear grow a bit and he had to keep telling himself that he was safe, that this whole thing was going to be over soon. He extended his arm, the one with the spray nozzle, and he pulled the trigger. A torrent of deadly chemical erupted from the nozzle, drenching the retched insects, tearing them in large clumps away from the window. They fell writhing to the carpet below and he drenched them further until they either died from the toxins themselves or were drowned in the growing pool of liquid. Jeremy mumbled curse words under his breath like a chant, vowing to rid the entire world of these miserable pests if that is what it was going to come to. And he didn't finish until the canister was as empty as was the Raid can just the day before. He was shaking when it was done, shaking so hard that he dropped the canister on the floor. It rolled to the wall where it rested amid the saturated carcasses of a thousand dead bees. He flexed his fingers to regain lost circulation and took three deep breaths to chase the shakes away. It was done. It was done. It was done. And all that was left at the window was the remains of the honeycomb that the bees had constructed. The geometry was exquisite, hexagonal shapes so precisely formed that they nestled flawlessly with each other. Architecture that under other circumstances would have been admirable. But the structure was not quite as perfect as it should have been. Jeremy had trouble seeing it at first, seeing exactly what it was, that is, but as he backed away it took form. There, built skillfully within the paper thin jig-saw puzzle plan of the hive, were two words so perfectly formed as to be almost unbelievable . . . "You Die." He shook his head and knew that his mind was playing a cruel trick on him. Jeremy sat trembling now in the solitude of the kitchen, his elbows resting on his knees. The rain had stopped and a confused June bug bounced off the kitchen window, redirected in its pointless flight. He nearly threw a chair at it in unleashed rage and he cursed loudly this time. He slid the hood and helmet off, dropped the gloves on the table before him and ran his fingers through his drenched hair. Would he ever be rid of these insects who plagued him? Would the world itself ever find a way to eliminate these useless creatures? He unzipped the front of the heavy suit and he could smell his own fear as it was released. How could these tiny things be allowed to cause him such misery? Why did God ever choose to put them on His earth? Jeremy slid his arms out of the suit and there were large rings of perspiration there and across his chest. Wouldn't this world be a more pleasant place without the likes of mosquitoes and flies, roaches and hornets? Spiders and termites? He slid the suit off his waist and down to his boots. His pant legs were stuck to him like a second skin. He started to laugh. How foolish to think that he could eradicate an entire species. Hell, we're not talking just one species here. Aren't there thousands of insect species? Aren't we talking about eradicating an entire form of life? With a can of Raid? How sweet it would be but how utterly exhausting to even try to fathom it. He slid one elastic cuff over his shoe. As he tugged at the second, he felt the twinge of pain. He pulled his hand away and found a bee nestled in the crotch between his middle and index fingers. It stung him deeply. Jeremy shook the insect off his hand. He stared in disbelief at the swelling already beginning on the back of his hand. The bee must have crawled into one of the folds of his cuff and laid their protected from the death shower of the chemical. Jeremy stood and nearly tripped over the trailing bee-suit that was still attached to one of his legs. He tried to scream but the venom of the bee-sting had already coursed too far through his body and his vocal chords had turned to granite. He knew that he needed help; if there was to be any possibility that he would survive this, he needed help now. But he was disoriented . . . was that a bad sign, he wondered . . . and instead he only held his throbbing arm by the wrist and stared. When Jeremy fell to the floor he did it with no grace at all. He didn't try to cushion the impact or slide against the refrigerator door so that he would avoid the hard tiles at his feet. He fell hard and, had there been someone else there with him in the house, they certainly would have heard him fall and would have run to his aid. But no one was there and it really wouldn't have made any difference anyway. He fell without grace, without cushion, he fell hard because when he fell he was already dead. His unseeing eyes stared at the ceiling above. The bee had been silently watching from the safety of the top of the door frame. It took to flight now, surveying the scene. It traveled the length and breadth of his rigid body. It landed on the moist cornea of one sightless eye and was reflected in the milky surface. It folded its wings tightly against its little body and rubbed its legs together leaving a few specks of yellow pollen to float there beneath it. But one of its legs found nothing to rub against although the reflex action forced it to try. The opposing leg was missing . . . missing. Hah. Tweet
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