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MINE Chapter 1 (standard:action, 11518 words) | |||
Author: Tom Soukup | Added: Feb 21 2003 | Views/Reads: 3916/2574 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
Chapter 1 of my new novel that I am currently marketing. It is an international action thriller involving terrorism and West African diamond mining. | |||
Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story glass, her slender fingers accepting the warmth of the sun. A car horn sounded below and Erin followed the sound to a red convertible stopped in the street below her window. Five young men shouted and waved, laughing sharply, pointing and slapping each other on the back. Erin pressed closer to the glass to see what it was that had drawn their attention. With innocent shock she suddenly realized that it was she that was the focus of their raucous behavior. Erin stood there pressed against the large window wearing nothing more than panties. Although the window was three stories above the street, the distance did nothing to detract from the show she inadvertently provided as stimulus to the overactive hormones of the lecherous audience below. Erin quickly closed the drapes, turned and pressed her back tightly against them, clutching the fabric behind her. She could feel the angry rhythm of her heartbeat, unconscious reaction to the violation, but she calmed it with a return of her smile, then a laugh as she saw her own reflection in the mirror on the far side of the room. "Where were those guys at prom time?" she said to the reflection. Erin was painfully thin; skinny was actually a more apropos word. At five feet seven inches and barely tipping the scale at 105 pounds . . . hardly the physique of most of the other coeds that strolled the crowded campus . . . she had never been able to draw that same kind of attention fully clothed and at eye level. She suspected correctly that the illusion she presented in the faraway window fashioned a better spin than could ever the actual flesh. There was a time when that would have deeply bothered her. She had always been thin, most likely a genetic curse encoded as indelibly as her ghoulish skin pallor. For years, a bra was more as fulfillment to what little was left of her self-esteem than as an article of necessity. Even now at the age of twenty-one, a woman by all other definitions, there was little more than two palms-full of soft flesh on her chest. Those screaming young men in the car below probably had a larger cup size than she did. Erin crossed her arms and laid a hand over each of her tiny breasts. Time had taught her to find humor in her situation and, although that humor was often bittersweet, the flavor had become natural. "Big surprises often come in little packages," she said aloud as if the crude young men might be able to hear. Or maybe it was more to convince herself of her chosen destiny. Besides all that, her slight build, which had been the curse of the past, would now work to her advantage in today's task. She nurtured it, fearful through these last twenty-nine months of planning that she might suddenly gain the weight that had been out of her reach for a lifetime. That just wouldn't do. Her eyes moved to the row of packages that were neatly arranged on the bed, fourteen of them in all, perfect rectangles with red stenciled labels. She bit her bottom lip as she ran her finger along the edge of one. Twinges of excitement climbed the ridges of her backbone. She had to be strong, not just of conviction . . . there was never a question there . . . but physically strong as well. She trained in the university gym nearly every night, working her tired muscles for elasticity and endurance while avoiding building mass that would only get in the way. Erin stayed to herself, avoiding the gaggles of narcissistic females who spent most of their energy posing in front of full length mirrors to make sure that their hair was coifed to look fashionably (but naturally) tussled, their leotards were sufficiently thin to display enough nipple for the sweaty jock at the Nautilus nearby, and that their tee-back panties wouldn't dig too deeply into the muscular flesh of their ample buttocks. They gave Erin strange looks as she labored away beneath a sweat suit that might just as easily have hidden a teenaged boy. But Erin had purpose. Her body was sculpted to the task at hand. Her lanky build was cast of tight muscle, nothing superfluous, each feature according to that prescribed in the manual and tested a hundred times before. She could run five miles in the heat of summer without breaking a sweat. Countless journeys up and down the stadium stairs taught her that. She was sure on her feet, practicing to carry her own weight carefully, elegantly as if she were walking the runway of a beauty pageant. Oh how differently the skill would be applied. She could balance her delicate frame over each willowy leg, transferring the weight to the outsides of each foot as they rolled heel to toe, heel to toe, steadily and confidently across the floor. It was the walk of a jungle predator. Stealth. "Do it again," Mustafa would say to her. He'd hold his hand above her head, his slender black fingers extended outward, walking beside her and scolding her as the wispy blonde strands of her hair brushed his palm. "Do it again." Erin would turn without questioning. Her bright eyes would lock with the darkness of his, and the determination in his face was enough to stem any uncertainty that she might have harbored. "Now hold these and do it again." Mustafa would hand her two five-kilogram barbells. "Hold them close to your sides and walk with me once more." Erin could feel the added weight, twenty-two pounds in all, as it pressed her bare feet to the floor, her abdominal muscles straining to keep her back straight and her eyes forward. She struggled as a drop of sweat formed on her forehead. "You mustn't," Mustafa said sharply, and he brought his face within inches of hers. He blotted the salty moisture away with the tip of his finger. Erin wanted to cry for the first time since the training had begun. Her conservative background in an upscale Delaware suburb and years in a private finishing school never opened the possibility that she'd be standing here in a dormitory room with a strangely dressed black man snapping commands into her face. "Do . . . it . . . correctly," he said without expression. His skin took on an almost indigo cast from this close. But Mustafa was her friend. Inside she knew that. They had originally met quite by accident early in the first semester of her freshman year. Harvard University was a frightening place and, although she clearly had the credentials to be here . . . a 1578 on the SAT and a wealthy father who was not only an alumnus but also a sizable contributor . . . she lacked the interpersonal skills to feel comfortable in the Ivy League aura. It was Daddy, after all, who wanted this, and Daddy usually got what he wanted. Erin would have been far happier at the local junior college even though it "might not have been commensurate with her academic prowess." That's how Daddy would have put it. Erin had little direction in mind when she stepped on the Harvard campus, really no different than most incoming students, and picked coursework from the university catalog as if she were choosing from a luncheon menu. "Islamic Philosophy and Theology": Harvard Divinity School, room 2304, Professor Dhakir Rhumlah. It looked interesting, in stark contrast to her rigid Episcopalian childhood. Her enrollment would likely upset Daddy to some extent, but that in itself made the course attractive. The Muslim world was on everyone's mind these days in a rainbow of emotions running from curiosity, through anger, to fear. The class size was small, the students representative of religious and ethnic diversity, and the topic compelling. Professor Rhumlah brought life to what might have otherwise been the mundane. Islam was probably the least understood, certainly the most misunderstood religion in practice today even though it formed the lives of more than a billion people worldwide. Erin drank in Rhumlah's lessons, struggling at times with his thick Arabic accent that betrayed his roots in Saudi Arabia. He deftly spoke of the similarities and contrasts, more often the former than the latter, in comparisons with the Christianity that clearly dominated the student body. His textbook of choice was nothing more than a well-done translation of the Qur'an, and he quoted passages from memory to illustrate and punctuate his points. His lectures had the unique quality of being able to add new mysteries while dissolving the preconceived away. "You seem quite taken by my religion." A tall black fellow walked beside Erin as she left class one day. He was wearing a chocolate brown long shirt extending below his knees, buttoned high to the collar, and a matching cloth cap that resembled a sort of short fez. She remembered seeing him sitting in the class slightly behind her on the right. "It is a beautiful religion but there is so much more that the professor cannot fully explain in such a structured environment." The young man spoke quite eloquently and with no hint of Arabic or any other foreign accent that would have been more fitting to his dress. His words were soft. "Excuse me," he said when he recognized the puzzled look on Erin's face. "Let me apologize for my lack of manners. My name is Mustafa Majd Udeen." He extended his hand to Erin. She took it hesitantly, noticing his unnaturally long fingers and the look of sincerity in his eyes. "I'm Erin Logan." She realized that she was staring into his face and she looked quickly away, dropping his hand and stepping back a bit in embarrassment. She found herself strangely entranced in his presence, captured for the moment by the persona of muted confidence. Mustafa saw the faint lines of her nearly transparent eyebrows knit once again and understood that further explanation was probably in order. "I used to be Jared Brown," he said, allowing the clarity of his enunciation to falter a bit and let just a hint of natural Alabama drawl creep through. Erin clutched her books tightly to her chest and turned slightly away from Mustafa as if torn between staying to learn more from this strange man or running away as her instincts were telling her to. Mustafa laughed softly, a soundless rush of air rather than something more audible. "I'm sorry," he said and he stepped toward her. Erin backed away an equal step. "My name used to be Jared Brown before I changed it. My father is Terrell Brown and my mother is Eunice Brown and they live happily ever after in Birmingham, Alabama where I was born. Last year I changed my name to Mustafa Majd Udeen. I embraced Islam and took a re-born name. Majd Udeen means 'the glory of the Faith'. You know, it's a change the way Cassius Clay changed his name to Mohammed Ali?" Erin tipped her head and a few strands of yellow hair fell across her cheek to at least give her the illusion of protection from the charismatic eyes of the young man. "Cassius Clay?" she said. "You've got to be kiddin' me," Mustafa said, and he let the veil fall completely from his metered speech. "The boxer. You know, heavyweight champion of the world. Mohammed Ali? Ali means 'Noble'. Mohammed the Noble. How 'bout Karim Abdul-Jabaar, the basketball star? He used to be Lew Alcindor. Now he's Karim, Servant of the Mighty." Erin brushed the hair away from her face but couldn't brush away her confused expression. "Where y'all been, girl?" he asked with all of Alabama on his sleeve. Now Erin did turn away and walked into the hall. "Wait," Mustafa called to her. "I'm sorry." The southern accent was gone again and the softness that intrigued Erin in the first place returned. "Can I walk with you? I'm going your way anyway." He smiled. "But you don't even know where I'm going," Erin said without looking at him. She stopped and turned, and his broad smile seemed to be infectious. "Well, we're way out here on the edge of campus so I guess just about everywhere else is in the same direction. I'm heading back to the dorm. The dungeon at Quincy House," he quipped. "I'm right across the way. Lowell House." "See? I told you I was going your way." He held the door for her and they walked out into the cool September air. "So tell me again about this Jared-Mustafa thing," Erin said. Her long legs kept equal pace with Mustafa's quick stride. New England's brisk winters and a far-reaching campus are good teachers for such things. "Jared Brown was my name when I was a Baptist growing up at home in Alabama. We were all Baptists. My uncle was a Reverend and my father was Deacon of our church for years. My mother sang in the choir and my sister married into another Baptist family from the congregation. I guess coming here to such a liberal college was enough to start me questioning what I really believed in. My family scraped together every penny they could find to get me into the Divinity School here. It was a very big deal for them. Everyone expected me to be the next reverend in the family and take over the church when Uncle Charles retires in a few years. Didn't work out that way though." "What happened?" Erin asked. She was beginning to feel more comfortable now with her new friend. Mustafa stopped and looked up into the bright sky. "I guess I learned," was all he said at first. He let those words sink in for a very long time. "There's so much more to know. I studied and read everything I could get my hands on. I went to lectures and badgered the speakers until they told me everything that they knew." Mustafa laughed at that, reflecting for a moment on some unspoken memory. He shook his head. "Everything. But you know it was finally Allah who showed me the answer." Erin appeared to be forming a question when Mustafa said, "Allah. God. Islam brought me the sort of inner peace that I just couldn't find anywhere else. Jared Brown was the Baptist from Birmingham. He's gone." Mustafa waved his hands in the air, dismissing his past. "Mustafa Majd Udeen is the Muslim you see before you today. The only connection remaining between the two is in the physical. That I cannot change. But the mind of Mustafa belongs to Islam." He laid his palms against his chest as if to embrace his very soul. "I am Mustafa Majd Udeen." Erin continued to walk, unaware that she had left him standing behind her. She hadn't met anyone quite like him and felt small. "I want to know more," she said and she turned to see that he was well behind her now, still standing with his long arms in the air. He looked iconic with the hazy shadows of the noontime sun making his dark features indiscernible. "I want to know more," she repeated. Without speaking, he turned away from her, adjusted his position a few degrees further, and gently dropped to his knees. He placed his forehead on the ground and began to chant in complex tones. "Mustafa?" Erin walked closer to him, bending over with a concerned look on her face. "Are you all right?" She laid a hand on his broad back but he didn't respond. She felt the vibration of his cryptic words and pulled her hand away suddenly as if she was caught touching something forbidden. "Leave the freak alone," someone shouted. Erin turned her head sharply to the sound, fire flashing in the jade of her eyes. She sensed a defensive wave come over her although she had no idea why. There was a small group of students gathered together under a tree a short distance away. One of them wrapped a handkerchief around his head and was bowing to the others in mock imitation of Mustafa's posture. "Screw off," was what Erin wanted to say to them but there was something about Mustafa's posture that made such language seem inappropriate. Instead, she just stood there and glared at the intruders. Her icy stare must have sent a strong enough message that they simply walked away without another word. Erin looked back at Mustafa. "Allaha Akbar . . . Subhana Bab-bi-yal A'Ala," he said. He sat upright on his heals and then began to rise. "What was all that about?" she asked, sincere concern draped on her words. She extended her hand to him to help him to his feet. Their size difference rendered the gesture symbolic. "Don't pay any attention to them," he said. There was no anger in his words. It was obviously something he had suffered numerous times. He calmly brushed the dried grass from his trousers. "What were you doing anyway?" she asked as they resumed their walk back to the dormitories. "Salah," he said and the word seemed to come from a ripple of his tongue. He smiled when he saw Erin try to silently mouth the word as if that might suggest meaning. "Prayer," he said in explanation. "We pray to Allah five times each day. It is part of what we call Ibadah, our humility and devotion to Allah. We must pray fives times each day, wherever we are at the time. It doesn't matter. Fajr is the Morning Prayer. Zuhr in early afternoon, 'Asr in late afternoon. Maghrib is at sunset and 'Isha at night. It was Zuhr that I just finished but I used just the Salalud-Qasr, the shortened version. The full Salah is quite an intricate process. You'd find it fascinating." "And was that Mecca that you turned to when you bowed down?" Erin asked having read that somewhere in the past. "It is Ka'bah, the sacred place at Mecca," he said, and the sound of the word originated deep in the back of his throat. "But it's the same thing." "But how did you learn all of that?" she asked, fearful that she was doing a poor job of hiding her stereotypical view of Jared Brown that stemmed from the quieted bigotry of her heritage. "We gain understanding from curiosity fulfilled. Seek it and you will learn as I have. Let me be your guide." * * * Erin's eyes drifted to the small clock on the nightstand next to her bed. It was already ten-thirty, and it was hard to believe that so many months of preparation had crawled by at a snail's pace while these last few hours were rushing away at whirlwind speed. She had grown in so many different ways in her time here at Harvard. She still looked the same on the outside, pretty much so anyway, except for a bit shorter haircut and the light line of a scar on her cheek where she cut herself slipping on the ice last winter. When she saw her parents for dinner last night, they remarked at how healthy she looked and how proud they were of her for what she had become. Her academic accomplishments were well documented. Her father beamed. But they didn't know about the other changes that Erin had undertaken on the inside, tucked deeply away where neither they nor anyone else could see them. Erin closed her eyes now to cleanse her thoughts and restore the calm that she would need to finish this day. Her senses were suddenly aroused as a pungent odor wafted through the stale air of the dormitory room and snapped her back to reality. Something was burning. Something was very hot. She spun around in the room, disoriented at first, until she saw the orange-red glow of the hotplate and the distorted form of what had been her teapot. The plastic handle had already dripped away to leave a twisted dollop of char smoldering away on the wooden dresser top. She grabbed a towel and snatched the remains of the teapot from the burner to toss in into the tiny sink in the corner of the room. A rushing hiss of steam filled the room, condensing on her skin and raising gooseflesh on her arms. Erin spun away from the sink and stared at the bed through the dissipating fog. The packages were still okay, still all lying neatly in a row. She walked slowly to the bed and placed her hand on one of the tightly wrapped squares. It was still cool to her fingers although the prickle of what could have happened rose through her touch. "That was close," she said to herself, whispering the words reverently under the weight of the burden they held. A fire in the tiny room could have been devastating. There were probably no more than two or three feet of space between where the teapot smoldered away on the dresser to the edge of the bed. A spark or two tossed to the bed sheets and the whole thing could have gone up in flames. Erin turned away from the spot as that thought caused her stomach to cartwheel. Even if the worst hadn't happened, there was still the possibility that even a small fire would have set off the smoke alarm or, worse yet, the sprinklers in the ceiling. Everyone would have come running to see what was happening. How could she have explained the fourteen packages on the bed to the university authorities? How could she have explained the whole thing to Mustafa? * * * Erin became entranced by the teachings of Professor Rhumlah. His lectures were filled with stories of prophets and mysteries of the history the formed Islam. The course was necessarily compressed, a condensed version designed to fit the structure of a single semester. Erin's questions were answered politely but curtly, her need for in-depth information becoming a weight on the pace that the professor had established in his course outline. Her desire for expansion of the various topics was insatiable. "Miss Logan," Professor Rhumlah finally was forced to say, "you are looking for something much more that the scope of this class. I suggest that you do some independent reading to fill your needs. We also offer higher-level classes in which you can enroll in coming semesters. I certainly don't want to stifle your quest for knowledge, but we must adhere to the course syllabus." Erin turned away from the professor with disappointment on her face. "Why don't you come with me to the Mosque on Friday," Mustafa said to her. "Let me help you." Erin met Mustafa early that next Friday morning on the steps in front of Quincy House. The filtered sun of a late autumn sky shone weakly through thickening clouds, and it was likely that the forecast for an early season snow-shower would be accurate. "Good morning," Mustafa said as he buttoned the last of his heavy coat. "I wasn't sure you were going to come." "And why wouldn't I," she answered. They walked together along Plympton Street toward Mount Auburn. Mustafa thought for a moment, not wanting to sound disrespectful. "I just wasn't sure," he said. "But it is a pleasant surprise. Your people do not usually show such interest." Erin was a bit taken aback by the term "your people". She stopped and turned Mustafa toward her with a tug on his sleeve. "My people?" she asked with a tinge of anger in her voice. "You know," he said as he looked into the depths of her green eyes. "Christians." "But you were a Christian," she said accusingly. "You said you were a Baptist." "But it's different. Christianity was forced upon my ancestors many years ago. They really had no choice in the matter. My people come from an ancient Muslim background." "So does that mean that my people," she colored the words, "can't learn?" Mustafa realized at once that he had struck a sensitive nerve. He had actually been searching for it, probing for a response. He smiled apologetically. "Of course not. I was speaking in generalities. Please forgive me." "So where are we going?" Erin said to change the subject, satisfied with the answer and needing no further explanation for now. "Where is the Mosque?" "It's just outside the campus. Just a short walk. Well make it in plenty of time for Fajr." "Fajr?" she repeated, stumbling with the word. "Morning prayer. The first Salah of the day. Remember?" She did remember their conversation although the strange sounding words all seemed to blur together. They continued to walk along quietly, each wondering what was going on inside the other one's mind. "Here we are," Mustafa said. They stood in front of an old building, little more than an abandoned storefront. The window glass was opaque white with a series of black, wavy lines painted across the surface. Erin recognized it as Arabic writing. "This is it?" Erin asked incredulously. She didn't want to sound disappointed but there was no hiding it. There were no intricate mosaic patterns on the walls, no minarets pointing to the sky. It looked so . . . so simple. Mustafa understood her first impression and had no ill feeling toward her for it. He let it pass. "You will need to cover your head before we go inside. You can use your scarf. Wrap it close to your face and around your neck. Leave you coat buttoned all the way." Erin looked at him strangely. "It is our way." "Are you sure that it's okay for me to come inside?" she asked as she made the proper adjustments to her clothing. "The Imam will welcome you with open arms." Mustafa pulled her scarf farther down over her forehead leaving only her eyes visible. "Imam?" Erin was trying to absorb all of these new words. "The Imam is our spiritual leader. Mullah Rahim A'Khaaliq Mahmoud. He is a very wise and gracious man." Erin found the very name intimidating but she placed herself in the hands of her friend. She nodded. As they entered the Mosque, they heard soft conversation from small groups scattered throughout the empty building. The young men were dressed similarly to Mustafa, wearing long shirts that ended just below the knees, and either colorful caps or some more complicated headgear that Erin correctly surmised had significance in their various heritages. The women were cloaked from head to foot in dark colored, loosely fitting robes with only their hands and eyes without covering. Erin felt underdressed and self-consciously pulled the scarf over more of her face as she looked around the room. The floor was covered with small patterned rugs, each of them precisely angled toward one corner of the room, which she assumed marked the direction of Ka'bah. There were signs fastened to the walls with a variety of wavy line patterns that had no meaning to her. A door opened at the rear of the room and a tall man wearing flowing robes entered. He was obviously of Middle-Eastern origin. His skin was dark and his untrimmed beard fell onto his chest. His eyes were black as onyx but looked unnaturally peaceful. "Subhana-Kallah-Humma Wa Bi-Handaka Watabarakas-Muka Wata'Ala Jadduka . . ." Salah had begun. Each of the men and women moved silently to the edge of their prayer rug. "You can stay back here," Mustafa said to Erin pointing to a bench along the back wall. He walked to his place at the far edge of the room. Erin was lost in the chanting of the melodic language. At first she felt out of place but she closed her eyes and let the surreal sounds comfort her, melting into the background yet feeling a part of what was transpiring before her. The words were in unison but the voices were still distinct in their communication each with their God. "Allahu Akbar." Erin opened her eyes and saw the congregation move slowly to their knees, then bend deeply to the floor, at last lying prostrate centered on the colorful carpets. Each pressed his forehead, nose, knees and palms against the pile of the prayer rugs as the chant began again but with different words. "Subhana Rab-Bi-Yal A'Ala . . ." Her mind pictured the sculpted minarets now that were so disappointingly absent when she first saw the Mosque. She could almost feel the warm, dry winds that crossed those timeless deserts, and she envisioned the drifting sands forming endlessly smooth dunes, each marching forward relentlessly under a cloudless sky of sizzling azure. She began to see her own life played on a parallel screen, an insignificant melodrama that paled in comparison to the intensity of the devotion of these worshipers. She felt small, lost, a forgotten figure among these men and women, and found herself desiring to become a part of what she was witnessing instead of just an observer. Erin wondered if Jared Brown went through the same thought processes before he reincarnated to Mustafa Majd Udeen. Was there some similarity in Jared's background that, as was now playing so vividly in Erin's mind, had turned him toward a new light? "As-Salamu 'Alaikuar Wa-Rahmatul-Lah." The Salah was finished. Mustafa stood before Erin and his expression turned to one of unease. "Are you alright?" he asked in his soft tone. Erin's face was flushed bringing the first sign of color to her cheeks that Mustafa had ever seen. "Yes," she said. "That was amazing, so beautiful." Her words were slurred, as if she had just awakened from a pleasant, intoxicating dream. Mustafa smiled at her, satisfied that he had done the right thing in inviting her here. He extended his hand and helped her to her feet. "Would you like to meet the Mullah?" Erin's instinct told her to decline. This had already been too much for the little Irish girl from suburban Delaware. It was obvious that these people held Mullah A'Khaaliq Mahmoud in very high regard. Mustafa had already explained to her that they believed the Imam to be a direct representative of the Prophet Muhammad himself. She was frightened but she said, "Yes." Mustafa walked with her to the back of the room where the Mullah was talking with several young men. "Mustafa," the old man said as they neared. "It is so good to see you." His accent was thick although his enunciation of English was very precise, spoken in metered syllables similar to the way Mustafa fashioned his own speech. Erin figured that Mustafa was also very taken by this man and emulated his speech pattern through overwhelming respect. The Mullah shifted his gaze to Erin, and she could feel the pull of his charismatic eyes. "And who is your friend?" he said to Mustafa, never taking his eyes from Erin. "Mullah Rahim A'Khaaliq Mahmoud, may I introduce Erin Logan," Mustafa said with a slight bow toward the Imam. Erin extended her hand but the Mullah did not. "Welcome to our place of worship," he said and he smiled warmly. Erin tried to find the words to describe what she had seen and had experienced in her own mind for the last hour. But the Mullah only nodded his head and turned away to resume his conversation with the group of young men. Mustafa held Erin's arm and led her to the door. "I'm sorry," she said as they stepped back into the cold outside. "For what?" Mustafa said innocently. "I . . . I just didn't know what to say. I think I upset the Mullah." Mustafa laughed. "It's all right. You will come to understand the Mullah. Women are held in a far different light from what you are used to. There are so many things you have yet to understand about our religion. Islam is an entity unto itself." The words sounded biblical although Erin realized the irony in that comparison. "It's why I find the course at the university so intriguing," she said. "I want to know so much more and the more I learn, it seems, the more there is still to learn." She touched her forehead and shook her head. "How do you learn it all?" "There is only so much that the university course can possibly teach you. Professor Dhakir Rhumlah is a good man but you must remember that he works under the direction of Harvard University." Mustafa made that seem ominous. "The professor has a course plan that has been approved by the Divinity College. He can teach the basic tenets of Islam but there is so much more to us. In many ways, his hands are tied." "But what about the First Amendment . . . Freedom of Speech," Erin objected. "You are right but there are facets of Islam that are beyond the scope of his work. Islam is a myriad of disciplines, much the same way that the Roman Catholics, Greek Orthodox, Lutherans and Episcopalians teach basically the same principles but each with differences in interpretations of the Bible and the lessons of Jesus Christ." It seemed strange to Erin to hear Mustafa speak about the Bible and Christ just after having left a service so far removed. "But how do you know all of this?" Erin finally slid the scarf from the top of her head and wrapped it around her neck against the winter chill. "You will learn. I will teach you what the professor is unable to teach. Let me help you." Erin looked into his dark eyes and knew that this friend would be her light. Days passed to weeks, weeks to months. Erin filled all of her scarce free time in studies with Mustafa. Each time she thought that she had reached an important level of understanding, a new question opened another door, another facet revealed. "How do you keep it all straight?" she asked him one day as they walked together back from services at the Mosque. "There's so much to know." Mustafa stopped and turned her toward him. "I go to special classes," he said. "Special classes with a special group of fellow Muslims. We talk of our most fundamental beliefs, what Islam means especially to us, what the Qur'an says as the dominant book in our lives . . . what our common goals are. We meet every week." "Can I be part of this group?" she asked. "You know, sort of as an observer to learn more?" Mustafa saw sincerity in her face. He saw in her what he remembered in himself when he first discovered the beauty of Islam. "I'll see." "Oh please, Mustafa," she begged. "I really am interested. What is the group called?" "Al-Qadi," he answered. A chill ran through Erin's body. The world had changed and her memories of that fateful September day were still vivid. "Al-Qaida?" she whispered, and the pronunciation of the word actually made her shiver. "No," he said sharply, and there was no humor in his voice. He looked around to see if anyone was within earshot. "No," he said a second time but more softly. "Not that. It's Al-Qadi. In Arabic it means 'the judge'." Mustafa started to walk again toward campus. "Oh," Erin said somberly and dropped the matter at that. She walked silently at his side. * * * Erin looked at the clock again and saw that it was now past eleven. Time was running short. She had been lost in her thoughts for too long already. She needed to prepare. The odor of the melted teapot had faded away and, with it, the cause for immediate concern. She only had a little more than an hour left to prepare and there was still so much to do. She collected her thoughts and pushed her reminiscences of the past away at least for now. It wasn't that they weren't important. Quite to the contrary in fact. It was that past and all that it brought with it that was her motivation to fulfill her pledge. Erin went to her small closet and pushed away the pile of dirty blue jeans and tee shirts that covered the box. She lifted the container from its place on the floor, the place where she had kept it hidden for the last three weeks since Mustafa delivered it to her late one night. She set it down briefly on the bed next to the row of packages, but thought better of it and moved it away to the top of her desk on the other side of the room. She tried to remember everything that Mustafa and the others had taught her, each instruction that they had detailed and practiced for what seemed like a thousand times. Erin had always lived by lists, never trusting even more minor things to her memory alone. Although she was a brilliant mind . . . 1578 on the SAT didn't come easily . . . she believed in the paper record as a backup based on sound judgment. But that wasn't acceptable here. Mustafa forbade her to put pen to paper. She opened the box and laid the jumble of items across the surface of her desk, side by side in their proper order of assembly. Each was as familiar to her as her own fingers. She could have done the whole thing blindfolded, touch being her only guide. Her hands were steady although her heart raced. Her lips moved silently as she recited the instructions to herself by rote. From the top dresser drawer, she next removed a full roll of plastic Saran wrap. She took the half-spent roll of paper towels from a freestanding holder beside the melted hotplate and placed it aside. She slid the Saran wrap easily over the dowel and pulled on the loose end to find that it unwound smoothly and easily. It satisfied her that each of those items was now in place, ready for the final moves as the time grew nearer. Erin turned to the bed and felt the muscles of her abdomen grow tighter. Her lips moved now to a simple Arabic prayer that she had learned when she first decided to remake herself in the image of her adopted fundamental Islamic faith. The strange words brought inner strength and serenity, steeling her to the task ahead. She quickly counted the packages lined up before her although she had counted them many times before. There were fourteen, exactly as had been calculated. She touched the first one lightly, then gathered the strength to pick it up and peel back the thin plastic wrapper. A faint smell of almonds prickled her nose with a quick flashback to another time when she was a child. Her grandmother was baking almond crescent cookies just before Christmas. The aroma was pleasant. The memory brought liquid to her eyes but she pushed those thoughts away swiftly. They had no place here. Erin slipped a pair of thin latex gloves over her slender hands. She tried to remain calm . . . Mustafa told her there was nothing to fear . . . but she pulled too hard on the glove and pushed her index finger through the tip of the filmy plastic. "Damn," she whispered, and she stripped the glove away in ragged bits. Fortunately she had an ample supply, and was able to ease the next glove into place without incident. She carefully unwrapped each of the fourteen packages one by one, laying the contents on the spread-open plastic coverings. Each package had a label stenciled in red. The words held no meaning for her. Mustafa told her that the words were written in the Czech language, and she didn't need to worry about what they said. She trusted him completely. She had trusted him from the moment she met him. * * * Erin accompanied Mustafa to her first meeting of Al-Qadi on the Wednesday following her introduction to his special Islam and their last visit together to the Mosque. It was after ten PM when they walked together down a dark stairwell at the side of an old building that was several blocks further into the city than the Mosque. They entered a room that was poorly lit but she could see that it was clearly little more than an abandoned cellar. Mustafa saw the wary look on Erin's face even in the dim light. "It's okay," he said. "We are among friends here." Erin held his arm and followed a step behind. There were fifteen others already there before Erin and Mustafa arrived. Some were dressed in garb similar to Mustafa's religious attire but most looked like everyday college students. Blue jeans and sweatshirts were more the rule than the exception. There were three other females present, and Erin immediately noticed that none wore the head covering that she thought would have been the requirement. Five of those in attendance were African-American and all of the others appeared to be of obvious mid-Eastern descent. The low light certainly accentuated the darkness of their skin but their ethnicity was more apparent in the sculpture of their features and the placid look in their eyes. Erin had noticed that nearly all of the Arab-Americans she had met since coming to Harvard had that similar look to their eyes. One could almost describe it as an appearance of servitude although she learned quickly that their nature was far from that. But their dark pupils always seemed to float against the droop of their upper eyelids, with sharply contrasting white surrounding the sides and below as if they were perpetually looking upward. Maybe it was servitude after all but of a different kind. Servitude to their God, to Allah. Mustafa directed Erin to a chair near the back of the room. He sat at her side. There appeared to be no one in particular in charge although someone up front finally spoke. "Welcome, friends," he said in a tone not unlike Mustafa's. "I see we have a new member with us tonight." Erin could feel the blush rise in her cheeks. She knew that she was completely out of her element here. She felt a strain in her forehead as a brief vision of her middle school years flashed across her mind. She pictured each of the dark figures in the room turning to her now, pointing and grinning while they chanted together, "Spooky . . . Spooky." But instead they smiled and said "Ahlan wa sahlan" . . . you are welcome. Erin smiled wanly. "Let us offer the Salah of 'Isha," the leader said to those gathered He extended his hands toward Erin and added, "Please join us." Erin looked to Mustafa with shock on her face. "I don't . . ." Mustafa silenced her with his hand upon hers. "Just do as I do," he said. "We will only be doing a Salatul-Qasr." Erin still looked puzzled but faintly remembered hearing the words before. "It is the shortened form of Salah. We will be reciting only two raka'ats instead of the usual four." She shook her head in confusion. "Just follow me." Erin watched Mustafa out of the corner of her eye and tried to duplicate each of his movements although she found it impossible to mimic his words. She was embarrassed and hoped that no one would notice. When they finished, the leader separated his chair from the others and spoke to the group. "Before we begin our discussions tonight, I think we should learn a bit about our guest. Mustafa, would you be so kind as to introduce your friend?" Mustafa stood and coaxed Erin reluctantly to her feet. "This is Erin Logan. We met in class at the university last semester, and she accompanied me to the Mosque this past Friday. She has shown great interest in Islam and desires to know more of our ways." He sat down leaving Erin standing. Erin looked nervously around the room. All eyes appeared to be on her. "I'm Erin Logan," she repeated unnecessarily but with no other idea of how to start. "I'm a business major at Harvard, or at least I think I'm a business major. I am for now anyway." She stumbled over her words not knowing which direction to take. "I'm eighteen years old and was born in Wilmington, Delaware. When I'm not in school, I live with my family in . . ." "Tell us about your family," the leader interrupted. Erin's thought pattern had been broken, and she was lost for the right words. "I have a younger brother who is a sophomore in high school. My mother is a stay-at-home mom and my father is head of a large accounting firm." "Are you a religious family?" he asked. "We're Episcopalian," she replied, and she felt even more distanced by the admission. "But are you a religious family," he asked again, and the emphasis offered new meaning to the question. "My mother is." Erin wrung her hands and began to perspire even though there was little heat in the room. "I guess my brother is too, in a way, but only because mother insists on it. I guess I'm not as religious as I thought I was or I probably wouldn't be here right now." She smiled at her weak joke. "Or maybe it's just that you are not as Episcopalian as you thought you were," he corrected. "That doesn't mean that you are not religious. Do you believe in God?" Erin expected him to use the term Allah but realized that he spoke for her benefit. "I think I do. Yes. Yes, I do." "Did you feel comforted at the Mosque the other day?" "Yes, very much so." "Then you are religious in the eyes of Allah," he said and the use of the Islamic term seemed appropriate. "What about your father? You haven't spoken of him." Erin's eyes went to the floor. "I don't think my father is religious at all." She spit the words although she tried to hide the emotion behind them. "And why do you feel that way?" "He doesn't attend Sunday services with mother." "Is that all?" The leader was probing. "Is that enough to convince you that he doesn't worship his God in some other way that is less apparent to you?" "He doesn't treat people very well," she said in quick response, and she was surprised at how easily she let those words flow. It was as if a gate had been opened. "He runs a very large corporation and makes lots of money. He fires people and lays them off when it suits him but he still makes lots and lots of money. He curses and speaks badly about almost everyone he does business with. He pushed and pushes . . . he pushes my brother and me the same way he pushes his employees and his clients." Tears welled in Erin's eyes. "And he doesn't treat my mother very well." She sobbed heavily with those words. "I just wish he'd . . . I just wish he'd stop." Mustafa reached up to hold Erin's trembling fingertips. The leader sat silently, letting her emotion take its full course and subside on its own before he continued. "Are you very political?" he asked at last. "What?" Erin said as she wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. The drastic change in questioning sent her reeling. "Are you very tuned-in to American politics?" The idiomatic expression seemed foreign coming from the lips of the articulate young man. "Do you consider yourself a Republican or a Democrat?" The question was posed not as a choice of either one but as a selection between overall party affiliation versus none at all. "I'm an American," Erin said with deep thought placed into every word. "I'm not really into the whole political thing but I guess I have my opinions like everyone else." "Do you agree with all parts of American life?" The question was loaded in so many different ways. Erin wasn't sure how to answer or even if she should. Although the tone of the leader never changed from its soothing rhythm, she couldn't help but feel that this was bordering on an inquisition . . . that she was being violated and her innermost thoughts were to be explored next. She feared that any answer could turn out to be the wrong one. "I like being in America.," she said at last. "I suppose there are some things that I don't agree with but isn't that what we're supposed to do? How else can we make changes and make things better? It's the job of each new generation, isn't it? And now it's our turn." Erin was satisfied with her answer, and it restored the confidence that was being slowly eroded away. "Once again, let me welcome you to Al-Qadi." He saw that he had reached an end point and little more was to be gained for the moment. Besides, he trusted Mustafa's judgment, and the questioning was only icing on the cake. "Please feel free to join us in our discussions tonight and in our nights to come. Consider yourself one of us." He nodded to Erin and again to Mustafa, and turned to the group to begin the evening's dialog. Erin sat down heavily next to Mustafa. "Wow," she sighed in a hushed whisper. "That was tough. I'm exhausted." Mustafa spoke softly but continued to look toward the leader. "You did very well," he said. Erin shook her head with confusion. In some ways she felt violated, that her inner self was being exploited. But there appeared to be nothing sinister about the questions from the leader. She actually felt somewhat peaceful now that it was over. The Wednesday night meetings continued and Erin found their content even more rewarding than the classes and the volumes of texts that she had read. Subjects were explored at a more understandable level. Interpretations of the Qur'an were offered in the very most basic needs of mankind rather than in modern terms that stretched the words at whim. Islam gained a fullness that Erin never thought possible. "Remember that first night at the meeting?" Mustafa asked as they walked back to campus one day. "How could I forget?" she said. "What was that all about anyway?" "They needed to know you." "But why? Why was that so important?" Mustafa turned to her and looked into her eyes differently than he had done before. "Do you know the term Jihad?" * * * She carefully picked up one of the fourteen unwrapped blocks and measured the weight in her hand. It felt heavier than it really was. The label stared up at her from the surface of the bed. "Semtex" it said in faded red block letters. Mustafa and his Al-Qadi friends had somehow managed to get their hands on the material from associates in the Czech Republic, a distant faction of their network, and smuggled it successfully into the United States some time ago. Semtex . . . the name sounded innocuous enough, certainly less harmful than the more familiar U.S. equivalent . . . C-4. It was the plastic explosive that spy novels were made of, the stuff that James Bond might have used to take down some sinister cold war force to protect Western civilization as we know it. It had always seemed to be just some mythical substance created in the mind of a suspense novelist. Nothing as real as this. Erin pressed her fingers into the pliable gray surface leaving a dent that mimicked the shape of her hand and held that shape like soft modeling clay. She thought about the many times as a child when she would knead colorful blocks of Play Dough into happy shapes of flowers, misshapen pottery and indiscernible puppy dogs. The Semtex felt a little powdery at first but quickly turned to the malleable putty that made it so useful. Fourteen packages, one kilogram each. Erin ran a quick calculation in her head. A little more than thirty pounds of explosive power. It really didn't seem like all that much at first. Hadn't the U.S. bombers dropped 500 and 1000-pound bombs in Afghanistan? And what about those 10,000-pound "Daisy Cutter" bombs that caused such a stir? Thirty pounds certainly paled in comparison. But Mustafa had told her that half a kilo of plastic explosive could blast a twelve-inch hole in half-inch thick plate steel. And now Erin had twenty-eight times that much lying on her bed right in front of her. She touched each block with the tip of her finger, counting "One, two, three, four, five . . ." She smiled and felt the uncharacteristic flush rise in her cheeks again. She held one of the bricks in both hands and began to form it, to roll it into a long rope of devastating potential. She thought of a passage from the Qur'an: As for those who believe and work righteous deeds, they will have the gardens of Paradise as hospitality. Eternally therein, they will not desire any other place. [Qur'an 18:107-108] As she worked the pliable mass, the aroma of almonds that rose from the Semtex graced her senses and became sweeter and sweeter. A place in Paradise as small as the bow or lash of one of you is better than all the world and whatever is in it. [Hadith-Sahih Bukhari 4:51] She had been chosen for this work divinely, she believed, and she could not only hear the words of the Al-Qadi leader whom she had come to know as Hakeem Naa'il Yaman, nephew of a retired Palestinian official, but thought that she could even sense it in the mysterious eyes of the Mullah Rahim A'Khaaliq Mahmoud although he had never expressed such to her in words. Her fervor over the past three years had not gone unnoticed, and her zealous participation in animated discussions each Wednesday night suited her to the task that was upon her now. Only Mustafa knew that it was as much what Erin Logan was made of as all the rest that identified her as the right candidate. A conservative Irish background, upbringing in an affluent family, fair skin and hair, green eyes that told no hidden tales . . . unassuming and transparent in the diverse student body of prestigious Harvard University. She just didn't fit the accepted profile. Erin stretched the snake of plastic explosive out in front of her, gauging its length. Swinging it around her waist, she caught the free end and formed a belt that adhered tightly to itself. She still wore only panties and felt tingles crawl over the bare skin as the sticky putty grasped her stomach. She picked up another of the heavy blocks and began to knead it into shape in the same way. They will not taste death therein, except the first death, and Allah will preserve them from the penalty of the Blazing Fire. It will be a bounty from your Lord. That will be the supreme achievement. [Qur'an 44:56-57] She placed the second belt above the first and continued, forming each block of Semtex into another rope to be bonded around her above the preceding one, working her way up her chest, creating a vest of destiny. She began to feel the increasing weight press on her hips and constrain her breathing. But the months of practice carrying heavy dumbbells and breathing in rapid, short breaths was to pay off now. She felt the pressure on her knees and the tension in her calves began to complain. She closed her eyes for a moment and remembered. The person who participates in Holy battles in Allah's cause and nothing compels him to do so except belief in Allah and His Apostles, will be recompensed by Allah either with a reward or booty if he survives or will be admitted to Paradise if he is killed in battle as a martyr. Had I not found it difficult for my followers, then I would not remain behind any sariya for Jihad and I would have loved to be martyred in Allah's cause and then made alive, and then martyred and then made alive, and then martyred in His cause. [Hadith-Saha Bukhari 1:35] The last cord fit just under her breasts, pushing them up a bit making them look fuller than they were, and, under any other circumstances, that might have added a touch of humor. But there was no place for it here. She gingerly patted the body wrap together, blending it until she was sure that it was a continuous suit that only thickened her slim figure to the form of an average sized torso. The warmth of her body softened the plastic further and gave it enough elasticity to let her breaths come more easily. Erin moved now to the dresser, carefully removing the latex gloves, turning each one inside out to avoid getting the identifiable odor of almonds on her hands. She slid on a new pair of gloves and grasped the edge of the Saran wrap roll. She pulled the clingy film, and it unwound as she had expected. She slid her panties lower and wrapped the Saran around her body starting six inches below the bottom of the Semtex snake. Slowly rotating in place, she added successive wraps of the film, overlapping each turn six inches on the preceding one until she had covered the explosive completely. She continued the turns to add a second ply moving downward as necessary insurance against escape of the damning aroma. It was a careful step in her preparation, one of the many that had been practiced for so long. Meticulous planning and extensive experimentation by others within Al-Qadi had guaranteed that the method would avoid detection in the heightened security that was sure to be in place this afternoon. Erin slid her panties back into place and sat on the edge of the bed. No discomfort here, she noted. She began to perspire from the impervious covering but quickly stifled it through the mental power that she had mastered in her efforts with Mustafa. She moved to the desk and deftly assembled the electronic components required to detonate the Semtex. Plastic explosives are extremely stable until subjected to a minor explosion in close proximity. That would be the job of the tiny blasting cap. Erin held it between two fingers, and it looked like nothing more than one of those Black Cat firecrackers that used to delight her so much on the Fourth of July when she was a kid. That was a very long time ago, she realized as she thought about what was soon to take place. Where have those days gone? She slipped the blasting cap under the Saran wrap and pushed it deep into the Semtex. She slid the tangle of ignition wires into a thin money belt, slung it around her waist and connected the red and black wires to the leads on the blasting cap. Two small switches hung out of the pouch on the belt, and it was these two that had to be struck to detonate the device. Erin separated them and tucked one of them inside the waistband of her panties leaving the other to dangle free. She hesitated as she held the nine-volt battery in her hand. Nothing was likely to happen until the battery became a part of all the rest. Attaching it would cast the fateful die. It would be the final sign of her commitment. It was also the most likely time that an accident could happen if Allah chose that as the course. She snapped the battery into its receptacle on the ignition circuit, and stood still for a moment. "Allahu Akbar," she said with relief. Allah is the greatest. Erin looked a last time at the clock. It was nearly the appointed hour. Four years of education at one of the finest universities in the world had passed. She would have graduated with a BA in Business Administration, magna cum laude to boot. It was almost as long in her pursuit of a chosen new faith, Islam. And twenty-nine months of fastidious planning with her brethren of Al-Qadi. Today was finally here. Erin slid the long gown over her shoulders and the flowing lines hid her secrets perfectly. She would wear the colors of Harvard proudly even though their significance lost their traditional meaning to her and were nothing more than a necessary means to an end. She placed the mortarboard cap on her head, arranging her silky hair neatly beneath it. The tassel hung before her eyes, and she pushed it aside letting it swing against her cheek. In some ways it was a shame that she had done all of that hard schoolwork only to throw it away within minutes of receiving her diploma. But her goal today was far more important. She supposed that her parents and her brother, all of whom would be proudly sitting in the gallery at the ceremony, would be troubled by what she was about to do. She had struggled through last night's dinner with them, hoping that they would be unable to see her intentions for the next day. They made idle conversation over the tasteless meal, talks of campus life, academic pressure, her brother's desires to go anywhere but Harvard when his time came, a Mother's pride . . . Daddy's insistence that Erin have a successful future. A future not to be realized. She hoped her brother would eventually understand as he grew older. She thought he might. She knew that her mother never would, and that was tragic. Daddy would just be angry . . . with others, not himself of course. He would never accept that he was a part of it all. That would be beyond his reach. His ego wouldn't permit it. Graduation was sure to be a lot different from when he strutted up to the same podium twenty-three years ago. Harvard Yard and Tercentenary Theatre, where the commencement ceremonies would take place, was a short walk from Erin's dormitory. It was a beautiful spring day with cloudless skies and a temperature barely breaking the seventy-degree mark. Graduating students were walking together in small groups, arms waving in exuberant discussion, laughter filtering across the open green spaces, and a light breeze blowing in a way that sounded something like the unified swish of their silk gowns all heading in the direction of the rest of their lives. Erin walked alone. She saw Mustafa from a distance but neither one acknowledged the presence of the other. It was best that way. As expected, security was tighter than usual around the open-air venue for the ceremony in the shadow of Memorial Church. Everyone had to pass through a metal detector. No problem. There didn't appear to be any sign of individual pat-downs that would have presented an impenetrable obstacle. A menacing-looking German shepherd paced back and forth along the line of people passing through the security gate but walked past Erin without even flaring a nostril. Apparently the Saran did the job for which it was advertised. Erin breathed a sigh of relief. Erin took her seat in her designated place among the other Business Admin graduates. She briefly caught a glimpse of Mustafa as he sat some distance away with his fellow Divinity School classmates. His eyes remained fixed forward. Erin was about thirty feet from the stage, a little more than that to the podium, and she wondered if the distance was too great. Had something been miscalculated? She had enough Semtex plastic explosive wrapped around her to blow twenty-eight twelve-inch holes in half-inch thick steel plate, she remembered. Maybe she couldn't take everyone out. That would be unnecessary anyway. The explosion would make a statement that would be heard around the world. The blast might reach the podium. She hoped it would. Certainly something of it would reach that far. Applause erupted as the keynote speaker stepped into view in Tercentenary Theatre. A group of large men in dark suits and sunglasses spread out into the area as the President of the United States of America took his seat on the stage. Tweet
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