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The Letter (standard:drama, 5178 words) | |||
Author: Anonymous | Added: Oct 20 2002 | Views/Reads: 3570/2363 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
A teenagers struggle with the lose of his love. | |||
Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story the radio and finished getting dressed. I had a hard time with my tie; I just couldn’t get it straight. I had gotten so used to Sharon doing it for me that I just couldn’t do it by myself anymore. I decided just to forget about the damn tie and headed downstairs to read the paper and see if the Reds won the night before. I ended up falling back asleep while reading the paper. She was there in front of me but she still wouldn’t speak to me. I asked her over and over again if I had done something to upset her but she kept turning her back to me. I was getting frustrated with her. I started calling her Shari just to see if that would get her to turn around. I knew how much she hated that name, almost as much as I hated Stevie, but that didn’t work. She still ignored me. I grabbed her and spun her around just so I could see her. I needed to see her again. I needed to hold her and tell her everything would be all right. I needed to hold her for myself too. I missed her warmth in my arms. I missed the smell of her perfume on her neck. I missed the sweet taste of her lips when we kissed and I knew if we could just kiss one more time then everything would be back to the way it was before. I needed it back to the way it was before but I didn’t know what had happened to change it. As I spun her around I became frightened of what I might see in her eyes. She kept spinning and spinning but she wouldn’t spin around so that I could see her. I couldn’t figure out why she wouldn’t look at me. I let go of her and she kept spinning but never making all the way around so that I could see her. I could here her though she was calling out to me over and over again to help her. She kept saying help me Stevie, help me before its too late. I could here her tears and I wanted to go to her and help her but she kept spinning away from me. Her voice was fading with each spin until all I could hear was her tears. I felt my heart breaking as I heard those tears, knowing that there was no way I could help wipe away her tears. I woke up with tears in my eyes and knew then that there was no way I was going to make it through the day without her. I went and picked up the phone to call her house knowing that she wouldn’t answer but I had to talk to somebody. There was no answer, I left a message saying I would not make it there today and not to worry I would try to make it over there tomorrow. I went back up to my bedroom; I needed out of these damn clothes and into a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. I finished changing and went to turn on the radio and saw the letter next to the dresser. It was just what I needed to see. The tears came in bunches and my breath became ragged. I started wheezing and lurching where I stood. I collapsed onto my bed unable to control my emotional outburst. I must have cried for hours, at least it seemed that way to me. How could she do this to me? How could she hurt me this way? I didn’t think I would ever get my answers. We had plans together, long-term plans and now they are washed away just like my many tears. I pulled myself back together and went back to pick up the letter. It was time for me to see what was inside. It took all of my remaining strength just to pick the letter off of my dresser. I opened the letter as the tears began to slowly flow again. “Dear Stevie” I read, and I could here Sharon giggling as I read this with her in my head. I remembered back to the first time I heard her speak those magical words to me. We were in line for lunch on our first day in high school. She was new to the area and didn’t know anyone at the school. She found the courage to talk to me and asked me my name. I told her I was Steven. She called me Stevie and let out a nervous giggle as she did so. I usually went off on people when they called me that but there was something about her giggle that caught my attention. She introduced herself as Sharon, so me being the suave guy that I was joked and called her Shari. She giggled again and this time she caught more than my attention. We sat together during lunch talking the whole time never even touching our food. By the end of lunch she had my heart. We spent a lot of time together that first week in school and by the end of the week she had my soul too, and to think it started with an innocent, nervous giggle. I sat the letter down again just to remember our first meeting. I wanted to remember all of the times that we had together, our Friday nights at the football games, our Saturday morning walks, and our nightly studies together. She was definitely the brains of our relationship, always straight A’s. I struggled by with her help. I was the imagination in the relationship. I was always coming up with things to do to keep us busy and to keep everything fun. She taught me how be a better student and I taught her how to enjoy life, and enjoy it we did. At least that is what I thought. I went back to the letter. Dear Stevie, I know this is going to be hard for you to understand, but I have my reasons for doing what I felt was the only choice I had. I will tell you about them later, but first I want to tell you how much you mean to me. You changed me, you may not know that but you did. Before I met you I was a shy girl who hid in her room whenever anyone came by to visit. You taught me not to fear others but to embrace them for who they were, and I will never be able to repay you for that. You taught me how to love and how to be loved. I never knew how great it felt to want to be around somebody each and every moment, and I never knew how much it hurt to be away from him. That him is you; you were my somebody, my everybody. I messed all of that up. I had to stop reading the pain was too intense. I sat the letter down again and walked downstairs to get a drink. I opened the refrigerator and debated on having a beer or a Coke. I grabbed the Coke. A beer may of just set me off again on another day of being in a drunken stupor. The Coke was a refreshing change to all of the beer that I had been dumping into my system for the past week. I walked out to the porch and saw all of the bottles from the night before. I picked them all up and walked them back to the dumpster, then went back and sat down on the porch swing. I needed to think things through, to contemplate what I was going to do now that Sharon was no longer with me. The swing was making me nauseous from my night of drinking and I decided I needed to take a walk. The walk did wonders for me. I was able to clear my thoughts about Sharon. My mind wandered back to the letter sitting on my bed. I tried to think of what Sharon meant by it being her only choice but I couldn’t think of what she meant. I would just have to wait until I finished reading her letter to understand. I stopped walking and realized I was in front of the high school. It seemed so alone standing there without all of the teenagers running in and out of the doors. I knew how it felt; I felt the same way without Sharon by my side. I walked around the school to the football field, the site of our first date, our first kiss. I climbed the fence and walked over to the bleachers where we sat each Friday night during football season. I ran my hands along the metal where she sat all those warm and cold nights cheering on the team. She wasn’t a big football fan but knew I was so she would go along just to be with me. Afterwards we would go to Tommy’s Pizza, then we would drive around for a little while talking about what we were going to do for the rest of the weekend. The metal was cool to my touch. I ran my hands over the spot where I sat and it was warm from the sunlight that was beaming down on this warm Sunday. Her seat was cool to the touch but mine was warm. Something else for me to try and figure out I laughed to myself. It was the first time I had laughed in a week and it felt good. I sat down in my seat and kept on laughing. I couldn’t stop. It felt so good. I began to cry again, but it was a good cry, a cleansing cry. I felt so much better after I finally stopped. I sat there staring out at the field. I started to see two people sitting out in the middle of the field. It was Sharon and I. We were having a picnic at the fifty-yard line. It was the end of March. Sharon had told me the day before that she had something important and exciting to show me. I also had something exciting to show her. I had just gotten a promotion at work and wanted to share it with her. I had something else for her that day too. We were sitting there talking and enjoying the picnic when she pulled a letter out of her jacket pocket. She showed me the letter. It was from the University of Akron. She opened the letter and we both sat there and read it together. She had received a full scholarship to attend the university. The excitement in her eyes told me how badly she wanted to go. She grew up in that city and now had a chance to go back there. She looked at me and noticed that I wasn’t as thrilled about the news as she was and her excitement faded slightly. I couldn’t keep her here and I didn’t want to keep her here. I told her it was great news. We sat there all day and I listened to her talk about her neighborhood and how much she was looking forward to going back and seeing all of her old friends. I got up from the bleachers and headed out to the center of the field. I felt I needed to be there. I felt if I was there then Sharon would be there too. I needed her to be there. I needed to here her quite voice. I needed her soft touch to comfort the pain I was feeling. She would be there for me and everything would be all right. I would see her and I would be myself again. I made it to the center of the field but Sharon was not there. I sat down with my legs crossed just like I did that glorious day in March. I thought about that picnic again. I thought about how that day changed my life forever. We were sitting there talking about her neighborhood in Akron; the smile on her face radiated her beauty even more. I knew I couldn’t keep her here with me but I didn’t want to be without her either. I had bought the ring the week before when I got my bonus for working the long weekends of the state tournaments. I felt the timing could have been better but I knew if I waited then I might not be able to ask her. I asked Sharon to stand up. I helped her to her feet then went down on one knee. I started telling her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. I told her that no matter where she went I wanted to be with her. I saw the tears in her eyes as she realized what I was about to ask. I stopped beating around the bush. “Sharon, I know we are still young but I feel that we are meant to be together. I want to be there for you when things are at there best and at there worst. Together we will be able to do whatever we want, and I want to do it all with you. I love you Sharon with all of my heart. Will you marry me and make my dreams come true? Her answer was yes. I was happier at that moment than all other moments in my short life. I got up from the field and the pins and needles shot through my legs. It was getting late again. I decided to head home again. I wanted to finish reading Sharon’s letter. I wanted to find out what else she had to say. I wanted to find out why. I needed the answers, but was afraid of them as well. I started walking back to my house. I didn’t make it that night though. My friend Rich came driving by and offered me a ride. I was getting tired so I accepted it. Rich asked if I wanted to hang out with him and shoot a few games of pool before heading home. I tried to say no to him but he kept at it with me until I agreed to go with him. We went to J.C’s and I got us a pitcher of beer. We played against each other in the first game with me winning as usual. The next few games we played as partners against a couple of college punks invading our territory. We beat them four straight games before they gave up and left the bar. With each win came a free pitcher of beer, which I was gladly putting away mostly by myself. We stayed at the bar until they closed. It became another night of drinking for me to ease my pain, though while playing I didn’t think too much of Sharon. Shooting pool brought me out of my funk. I was having a good time and I didn’t want it to end. When the bar closed, Rich and I went back to his place. We drank a few more beers, smoked a couple of joints, and talked for the rest of the night. It was such a relief to have Sharon on the back burner of my mind. I knew that soon she would be back up front but for now I was going to enjoy this state of bliss that I was in. Rich finally went to bed around 7 and I ended up crashing on his couch. No dreams of Sharon this time. Rich awakened me at noon. He needed to go to work and offered me a ride home on his way. I took the ride. I was still slightly drunk from all the beers we finished off. He dropped me off and handed me some pills. He said they were valiums and would help me sleep. I took the bag of pills from him and headed into my house. I walked straight upstairs to my room and went right back to sleep. I awakened again at around 6pm. I could here my sister downstairs with a few of her friends. I decided to take a shower before making my entrance in front of her friends. I figured I looked rough and did not want anyone to see me this way. The shower felt great. The hot water was invigorating. I felt like a new man when I got out of the shower. I walked back to my room and got dressed. That was when I saw the letter again. The fear inside me leapt out in full force. I felt myself starting to tighten up again. The shortness of breath, the tightness in my chest, and the sharp pain in my head were all back. I had no strength left to go downstairs. I had no strength left to do anything but pick up the letter. I didn’t want to pick it up but I did. I pulled the letter out of the envelope and reopened my wounds again. I skipped over what she wrote in the first paragraph and started on the second. The letter continued. You are probably wondering what I mean by messing it all up. I am going to start by saying I did not mean to hurt you in any way. I did what I did because I was stupid. What I am about to tell you will hurt and I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me. It took place two weeks before you proposed to me. I was shocked when you did that and was afraid to answer at first, because I knew that if you ever found out what I did you would most likely leave me. I said yes to you because I was hoping at the time that I would be able to keep it from you. But as time went by I knew I would not be able to hide it much longer. I was beginning to show. I am sorry Stevie but I had an affair. It was the beginning of March and you were working your long hours. I didn’t expect this to happen, it just did. Your friend Rich stopped by one night and asked if I could help him with his English paper. I said sure and let him in. We worked in the kitchen the whole time. Well one thing lead to another and soon we were kissing. I am sure you can work out the rest of what happened that night. I wanted to tell you about it that day on the field and was about to when you proposed to me. After that I just couldn’t do it. I figured I would just keep it a secret. But things got worse. I found out in April that I was pregnant. I knew that I would not be able to keep this from you or my father. If he were to find out he would come after you. He would have just assumed it was yours. He would have disowned me and would have hurt you badly, maybe worse. So I had a dilemma on my hands. What was I going to do? I went to see about an abortion but since I was only seventeen they said I needed my parents consent to get it. I couldn’t tell them about this. I wanted to talk to you about it but was afraid of what you would think of me. I continued reading the letter; not realizing that I was taking the pills from the bag that that scum Rich gave to me. I finished the bag before I finished the letter. By the end of the letter I couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t. I started drifting in and out of reality. I could see Sharon and Rich together in front of me, mocking me. I could here Sharon giggling as Rich fondled her. That should be me making her giggle not him. I went to hit him and swung at nothing. I feel to the floor with a loud thump. A bright white light filled my sight, blinding me momentarily. I could here voices all around me but could only pick up small parts of the conversation. “Stick that damn thing down his throat!” I felt something being jammed into my mouth. I tried to close it but I couldn’t. I felt something going down my throat and I tried to gag but nothing would stop it from invading me. That bright light still had control of all I saw just shadows moving around me quickly. Then the light began to dim. “We’re losing him.” DARKNESS. A dim light broke through the darkness. I reached out to it but couldn’t quite grasp it. The light was just out of my reach. No matter how far I stretched I couldn’t grab the light. Then it was gone. DARKNESS. I saw the moon outside of my window. The moonlight burned my eyes. I closed them just to get away from the light. I tried to remember where I was but couldn’t. I tried to move but couldn’t. I tried to talk but couldn’t. I went back into the DARKNESS. Sharon was standing next to me and she was as beautiful as ever. She seemed to glow. She told me it was not my time to be here that I needed to go back. I told her I wanted to stay with her. She said that she would see me again, then turned and walked away into the DARKNESS. I awakened to fluorescent lights above me. I could not figure out where I was. I thought back trying to grasp where I was and how I came to be here but could come up with nothing. A nurse walked into the room and I realized I must be in a hospital. She asked how I was doing. I tried to talk but it hurt too much to speak. She nodded in understanding. I wanted to ask her what I was doing in here but couldn’t. She checked on my IV and left me there to figure it out myself. I tried to think but nothing came to me. I felt exhausted but didn’t know why. I dozed. The darkness didn’t come back this time. I awakened again with a lady sitting in a chair in next to me. She asked how I was doing and if I knew what I had done. I didn’t know how to answer. She said that they were planning on admitting me to the psychiatric ward at the hospital. I asked why and she explained to me what I had tried to do. The tears started immediately as I remembered the letter that Sharon had sent to me. She had done the same thing that I did but she had succeeded. I failed, just like I failed her. I should have known something wasn’t right with her but I was to worked up about the marriage. The lady tried to comfort me but I pulled away from her, just as Sharon pulled away from me. I cried myself back to sleep. When I woke up again the lady was still sitting there. She said they were going to move me to my own room. Five minutes later I was being wheeled to another part of the hospital. She walked beside my bed talking to me throughout the trip. She told me things were going to be fine. For some reason I believed her. I spent two weeks in the psychiatric ward, most of that time I was either crying or sleeping. When I wasn’t doing these two things I was going to group listening to others talk about what they were doing in here. It took me a week before I even spoke. I couldn’t believe that I tried to do what I did. The time I spent there was well spent, when I did leave I felt much better. I was able to get things out in the open. I still go to therapy once a week now but even the counselor’s feel that I will not need to go much longer. I still think of Sharon quite a lot but it doesn’t bother me as much as before. I know that there was nothing I could have done to change what she did. I have accepted that. I haven’t spoken to Rich since that night we went out shooting pool. I don’t think that I will ever be able to forgive him for what he did. Maybe one day I will be able to but right now it is not on the top of my list. I still love Sharon and I always will. I will never find another girl like her. I know I will see her again, she told me that herself so I look forward to that each and every day. She was my reason for living before her death and she is my reason for living after her death. THE END Tweet
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