I've known what love is (standard:romance, 13517 words)
Author: Gryfinndor_Girl	Added: Jun 28 2002	Views/Reads: 3599/3092	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Harry Potter spin-off. Ginny's confronts the mess that Tom Riddle left in her life with the aid of a new diary, and a certain black-haired boy who lived. Not your normal romance, it's a story of unrequited love <sob>

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

The night still haunts me, and my nightmares are filled with the vision
of Harry arriving suddenly back in the centre of the maze, lying pale 
and unmoving on the floor. The feeling of complete uselessness and the 
crowd swarmed around me and I was lost in a sea of hysterically sobbing 
students. 

‘Ginny, there's not that much to look at! One book covers the same as
all of them' came a voice, breaking me from my reverie. 

I tore my eyes from the book cover I had been unconsciously staring at,
and looked to my brother, who was getting really impatient by this 
time. He wasn't used to shopping with girls, and I think he was wishing 
Harry were here instead of me. 

‘I'm sorry Ron' I said sincerely, which took him by surprise I think. 

‘Hey Ginny, don't worry! I was just saying you've been staring at the
same book for 10 minutes, and mom will be here soon' said Ron hastily, 
noticing that Ginny's eyes were shiny brightly. 

‘It's ok. You go to the Quidditch shop, and I'll finish up in here, I'll
meet you in there in 15 minutes ok?' I told him, cursing my eyes that 
had decided to start water, against all commands. 

‘Sure' Ron told me, walking into the sun shooting the occasional worried
glance at me. 

I wiped my eyes hastily when he disappeared from view and continued to
search the reduced section of books, in the hope that the books I need 
where in there. I did actually manage to find my transfiguration, 
potions and history of magic books, which were still perfectly usable 
after a bit of TLC. I was feeling pleased that my 10 galleons stretched 
to buy nearly all of the books, and as I had 5 minutes until I was 
supposed to meet Ron I decided to search the rest of the bookshop for 
something to read. 

‘Good afternoon dear' came a misty voice from the shadows that startled
me so much, I dropped my entire stack of books onto the dusty floor. 

‘Here let me help you' offered the owner of the voice, stooping down to
stack the books into my arms. 

I looked up to the helpful stranger and smiled offering my thanks. My
first impression was that of Professor Trelawney from Hogwarts. She had 
the same misty personality and floaty voice that caused you to always 
lower your voice and whisper to her. The lady had long blonde hair that 
reached down to the woman waist in waves. Her head was wrapped in a 
bandanna made of navy gauze that complemented her large, sincere blue 
eyes. 

‘You look troubled my dear' said the woman once she had helped me gather
all my books. 

I laughed quietly, meaning to tell the woman that I was perfectly fine,
when my own voice surprised me by answering. 

‘I'm just worried about a friend' I blurted out. 

‘I see. Have you talked to anyone about it? It's always good to talk
things through with somebody, it always puts things in perspective' the 
woman told me kindly, delicately rearranging her bandanna. 

The woman gazed at me with her huge, trustful eyes, and I couldn't help
but answer truthfully to her. She was the kind of person you could 
never lie to, and I was forcefully reminded of Dumbledore. 

‘There's no-one I can really talk to about it' I told her truthfully. 

‘Oh I see, that's a shame for you. Have you tried speaking to you friend
about your worries' asked the woman as she began to tidy the books in 
the shelves opposite to me. 

‘Oh' I laughed going slightly red, ‘I can't really talk to him' 

‘Really? Curious, I would think your friend would welcome the worry,
maybe it would make him feel better to know that someone cared' the 
lady told me, and I suddenly got the impression the lady was either 
very perceptive or reading my mind. 

‘Probably not, he doesn't really like people to worry about him' I said.


‘Have you ever thought about keeping a diary then? If there's no one
around to talk to, it's sometimes helps to get your thoughts onto 
paper' said the lady airily, the voice of experience and reason. 

I gave a small gasp, and the stack of books that were precariously
balanced in my arms fell to the floor in a shower of broken spines and 
torn pages. I gave a start and threw myself to the floor, picking up 
the books again, thoughts reeling. The very word diary sends chills of 
terror through my heart, and brought back painful memories of my first 
year at Hogwarts. 

‘Oh I'm sorry my dear. I did not want to upset you' cried the woman,
helping me up. 

‘You didn't' I whispered, shuddering slightly. 

‘Oh I think I did, I'm very sorry. I did not think the idea of keeping a
diary would evoke such a violent reaction' the lady told me, peering 
anxiously at me. 

‘It's just...I had a diary once, and something bad happened. I don't
like the thought of pouring my soul into something like that' I told 
the lady, remembering the feeling of loosing part of yourself slowly to 
the person you once trusted so much, beyond all people. 

‘I see. You must not let that one experience mar your judgement though.
Millions of people keep diaries every year, with no ill effects. It 
would help you sort out your thoughts and worries, help assess there 
importance and see what's really important in your life. I've kept a 
diary for 30 years now' said the woman, pulling out a leather bound 
pocket book from her pocket. 

I nodded slowly, thinking about the woman's words. Would it help me?
Would I be able to sort out the millions of thoughts in my head if I 
wrote them down? Half of me was screaming no, bringing more 
recollections of the pain and terror I was put through by Tom Riddle 
and his diary, but the other half of me was recalling the beginning, 
when Tom was good and kind to me. It always helped things by writing 
them down, and Tom would always assure me, help me and talk to me. 
Sometimes I actually missed his friendship, someone I could always talk 
to, who understood everything – or so it seemed. I've got friends at 
school, but no one I could really talk to about the things that re 
really important to me – like Harry. 

‘I bought this diary from a muggle shop in London. Some people don't
like the magical diaries that talk back to you. The muggle way was 
always the best way to me. Who needs the voices in your diary giving 
you constant commentation on your life? Between you a me,' said the 
lady bending down to whisper in my ear, ‘The magic diaries scare me a 
little bit!' 

I giggled nervously, wondering for a second time if the woman could
really read my mind, she seemed so sincere and she was so much like me 
I couldn't help but trust her. 

‘Yeah, I know what you mean. You know, I never thought of getting
another diary again' I confessed quietly. 

‘You should you know, I tell you what, I've got an idea,' she said
pulling her wand out from her robes and pointing it at her diary, 
‘Copia et erasio' 

I watched quietly as an exact copy of the woman's diary appeared in my
hand, and a sudden gust of wind from nowhere blew the pages. The tiny, 
neat rounded script suddenly disappeared and the pages were left blank 
and empty. I looked up in wonder at the woman, who smiled kindly down 
at me. 

‘There you go, now you've got a brand new diary, which you know is
perfectly ok!' said the woman happily, turning to leave. 

‘Thank you!' I whispered at the retreating back, holding the diary like
a precious jewel. The lady had been so thoughtful and kind, I couldn't 
remember the last time I spoke to someone for so long, about such 
serious things. I felt contented and serene until I looked down at my 
watch. I was 10 minutes late to meet Ron at the Quidditch store! 

I hurriedly paid for my new books, and ran across the road to meet Ron,
swiftly tucking the diary into the back pocket of my baggy jeans. I 
didn't think Ron would like to see with another diary. In fact I don't 
think anyone would like to see me with another diary. I began to panic, 
wondering whether I was doing to right thing, but as I stared down at 
the innocent muggle book I had to laugh at myself. 

I pushed the door open to the Quidditch shop, and was met by a wave of
excited chatter and heated arguments in corners of the shop. I soon 
located Ron would had his face pressed up against a glass cabinet with 
a full set of Chudley Cannons Quidditch robes. He didn't seem to be 
aware that I had turned up or that I was actually 10 minutes late. I 
left him to drool over the robes, as I walked around the cramped store, 
dodging the crowds. 

I felt out of place in the crowd, I enjoyed watching Quidditch and
sometimes even joined in the games with my brothers back at home, but 
the people in this shop were serious fans and players. Small scuffles 
broke out periodically as people discussed the latest league table 
scores and compared teams and their players. I hid in the corner of the 
shop, leaning my face against the cool glass of another glass cabinet. 

I opened my eyes and was greeted by the smooth, sleek wooden handle of a
broomstick. I felt my throat constrict when I saw the word Firebolt 
etched into it, which bought another wave of feelings and thoughts 
about Harry. I would be happy when I was out of this shop, and away 
from all the reminders of the subject of thought the brief interlude in 
the bookstore had relieved me from. 

I was turning to go when I saw something on the bookshelf that caught my
eye. I smiled to myself and picked up the small book. I ran my fingers 
across the embossed title, and checked my money pouch quickly to see if 
I could afford it. I gave a silent prayer of thanks when I realised I 
had the exact amount of money to buy the book, and rushed to the 
counter. I paid for the book quickly and placed it into my shopping bag 
from Flourish and Blotts and headed over to Ron. 

‘Mum will be waiting for us, were 5 minutes late already' I whispered in
the ear of my drooling brother. ‘Oh great!' shouted Ron, grabbing my 
wrist and running out of the shop. 

We ran all the way to Gringotts, and laughed with relief when we
realised that mum was late! She hadn't arrived yet. 

‘Bought anything else?' asked Ron, peering into the large bag. 

‘No' I snapped, pulling the bag away abruptly from him. 

Ron shot me a strange look, but I ignored him and sat on the marble
steps, aiming to get a bit of sun before mum turned up. I lay on the 
step, soaking up the sun hungrily when a shadow crossed my path. I 
squinted up and realised it was only mum. 

‘Ready to go you two?' she asked, already leading the way to the Leaky
Cauldron's fireplace. 

I followed Ron and mum, acutely aware of the diary sticking out my back
pocket, and I kept my back to them until we got back home. I ran up the 
stairs and after checking my room was completely empty, I pulled the 
brick from the wall my bed leant against and reached into the cavity. I 
pulled out an old leather bag. Inside it were my memories. Everything 
that makes me, pictures I've drawn, photos, cards, letters, trinkets 
and other things. 

Every time something new goes into my memory bag, I have to look through
everything that was in there already. I like to remind myself of 
happier memories. I pulled out the family photo of everyone a day 
before I started Hogwarts. I was smiling radiantly, safe in the 
knowledge that I was offered a place in the school, and impossibly 
excited. I rifled through more photos of birthdays, Christmases, 
holidays and whenever Fred and George had been able to get a hold of 
their camera. 

Beneath the pile of photos was something that makes me blush every time
I saw it. It was a book I had been given on my fifth birthday by my 
parents. It was small, and had a brightly decorated front cover. 

‘The Boy Who Lived' I said out loud, smiling at the font cover that
depicted a baby with black hair and green eyes. 

Everyone had known how You-Know-Who had been defeated, and I had first
heard the story when I was only 3 years old. I had grown up knowing the 
whole legend, and it was core to my belief of the world I lived in when 
I was little. Good always overcomes Evil, the good guy always wins, no 
one ever dies. I laughed hollowly to myself as I took in the well-worn 
pages, complete with doodles made by younger self. The book never said 
anything about the pain the little orphaned boy would suffer, how he 
would grow up unaware of his life, how the good guys don't always win. 
The bad guys don't even look like the bad guys in the book.  Tom Riddle 
didn't have arching eyebrows or a thin moustache, he didn't always wear 
black and he never laughed maniacally to himself. 

That's what made it worse for me. If Tom had acted evil, if he had
taunted me and hated me it wouldn't have been so bad. But I trusted Tom 
with my deepest darkest secrets and fears, and I never knew. Never 
guessed – till it was too late. How can you trust anyone in this world, 
if you can't trust someone like that? 

I flicked aimlessly through the pages, most of which were taken up by
brightly coloured pictures with large bold letters underneath. I really 
can't believe how I used love this story above all others, how I wished 
I could be a part of the story. 

‘...and the whole wizarding world rejoiced, and everyone lived happily
ever after' I read from the last page, accompanied by a picture of a 
smiling baby held in the arms of his caring adoptive family. 

I threw down the book in disgust. But it's not like the books is it? Has
Harry lived happily ever after? Will any of us live happily ever after? 
Will the good guys win? 

* 

Dear Diary 

There's still no news from Harry. It's been nearly a week since his last
letter to Ron. Dumbledore assures us he's ok, but I know he's not. 
Something's happened and he's not telling us. Ron's really worried, and 
I heard mum and dad having a blazing row last night about it. Dad is 
happy believing Dumbledore, and it seems mum doesn't care what 
Dumbledore thinks. I feel so helpless, there's nothing I can do or say. 
Whenever I try to ask Ron about it he just dismisses me, and mum and 
dad don't seem to listen to me. I've always felt left out from this 
family, especially about things concerning Harry. Ginny's young, Ginny 
doesn't know anything. 

I'm sorry about the rant, but I'm unbelievably worried the recurring
nightmares of the third task are keeping me awake and I'm exhausted. 
I've taken to sleeping downstairs on the couch – no need to worry about 
creaking stairs. I'm not sure what to do, maybe I could write to Harry? 
Or Dumbledore? No, there's no way I'm doing either of those things. 
It's only two weeks till Hogwarts start again. 

I wonder if he had a good birthday? I was going to send him the book I
bought at the Quidditch store, but I lost my nerve, he'd just laugh at 
me, sending him presents when I haven't ever spoken to him really. No, 
I sit back and wait. If Harry can spend another two weeks with the 
Dursleys, then I can spend another two weeks at the Burrow. 

Ron's shouting at me, I've got to go. 

Love Ginny. 

‘What do you want Ron?' I shouted through my open bedroom window, down
to Ron who was in the garden. 

‘Do you want to come down for dinner or do you want to stay in your room
all night?' he shouted back, grinning cheekily. 

‘I'll be down!' I shouted back, hastily placing my diary in the memory
bag, and placing it in the cavity before sealing it with the brick. 

I walked slowly down the stairs and seated myself at the table. Every
one was there for the first time in a long time. Dad and Percy were 
back from a long day at the ministry, Bill was on holiday from 
Gringotts, and Charlie had been sent home to recuperate from a nasty 
burnt leg he got in Romania. Mum pushed a plate piled high with food in 
front of me, and I couldn't help but grimace. My whole family seems to 
live their lives around food, but I was too worried to want to eat. I 
picked up my fork and began my well practised routine of food pushing 
and piling, so as to make it look like I'd eaten lots when I'd really 
only taken a few mouthfuls. 

Dinner was strained and it seemed mum and dad still hadn't decided on
the course of action on the Harry situation, and Ron seemed to be just 
as upset as I am. I quickly dismissed myself and I decided to go 
outside. It was an unnaturally humid English summer evening, and 
decided to go down to my favourite tree near the garden path to draw. I 
picked up my pad and pencils, and seated myself in the arms of the tree 
that had created a platform. 

I let the muggle pencil flit across the paper, drawing whatever it
wanted as my mind wondered. I couldn't help but think what Harry was 
doing at this very moment. From what Ron had told him, the Dursleys 
weren't particularly nice people and I felt a horrible uneasiness 
settle in my stomach. Harry would be all alone for the whole summer, 
nobody around him who could look after him and protect him and keep him 
company. Whatever had happened at the end of the third task, I didn't 
seem like something you'd want to be alone after. 

I found myself plotting how I would escape from the Dursleys if I were
Harry, but most of the ideas seemed to centre on magic and that was 
impossible. I looked down at the picture I had been unconsciously 
drawing and realised with a nasty jolt what it was. It was a gigantic 
carved chamber, full of snakes that looked as if they were actually 
writhing on the page. In the centre of the page were two people, wands 
raised against each other. I squinted at the scene, trying to work out 
why I was drawing a picture of twins duelling in the Chamber of 
Secrets, when I heard a twig snap. 

I suddenly felt very exposed. It was nearly dark outside and I was
outside the protective ward surrounding the house. I dropped my pad and 
pencil, jumped down out of the tree and squinted fearfully in the 
darkness, trying to calm my thumping heart. Your being stupid Ginny, 
its probably a stray gnome, I told myself, unaware I was gripping a 
branch in my hand from the floor, wielding it like a beaters club. 

Again came another snapped twig, this time closer and I could make out a
shadow a little darker than the night sky walking towards me. My heart 
was beating erratically now, and I stepped forward, waving my branch 
with a shaking hand. 

‘Stop right there buddy, your trespassing on private property. Now I
suggest you turn around and walk right back the way you came' I said in 
a wavering voice. 

The shadow stopped its procession, and stood still for a second. I
waited for the person to speak, silently cursing myself for coming out 
of the protection of the house. 

‘I'm serious, get lost.  We don't want you here' I said a little louder
and clearer. 

I heard the figure give a chuckle, and I felt myself blushing slightly,
this crazy person was laughing at me! I was going to be attacked, and 
no one would notice I was gone for ages yet. 

‘You are trespassing buddy, and I don't know what planet you come from,
but on this one that's illegal, now get lost.' I shouted out towards 
the darkness. 

‘So much for the famous Weasley hospitality' said the figure, in an
extremely familiar voice. 

I lowered my branch slightly, desperately trying to put a name to the
face. The figure stepped forward into the dim glow of the full moon, 
and gasped out loud. I stumbled backwards, dropping the branch and 
nearly fell over. 

‘Tom?' I whispered terror seizing my heart. 

There was no mistaking the tall figure that was walking towards me. He
was dressed in muggle clothing, but I could see his black hair peeking 
out from underneath a baseball cap. 

‘Get away from me' I whispered, backing away quickly from the figure, to
the protection of the magic ward. 

‘No, Ginny, it's me' said the voice worriedly, stepping closer to me. 

‘H – Harry?' I whispered, comprehension dawning as I recognised the
voice. 

‘That's my name don't wear it out' he laughed, slightly nervous at my
reaction to him. 

‘Harry? What are you doing here?' I asked bewildered, totally forgetting
it was Harry Potter I was talking to. 

‘Oh, I was er wondering if I could stay at your house for a while?' said
Harry evasively, still peering at me from under the shadows of his cap. 


‘Yeah of course you can. Does everyone know your coming? How did you get
here? Why-?' I rambled, trying to get my head around his sudden 
appearance. 

‘I got the Knight Bus to Ottery St Catchpole, and unless your parents
have suddenly developed divination techniques to rival Professor 
Trelawney they don't know I'm coming' laughed Harry nervously. 

I giggled at his statement and suddenly the fact that I was not only
standing in front of Harry Potter, but that I had just had the longest 
conversation I had ever had with him. I started to blush thanking god 
silently that it was dark, and cursing the awkward silence that 
followed. 

‘Oh, er come on, it's cold outside' I said after a while, noticing he
was shivering. 

‘Thanks' he said pulling his trunk behind him. 

‘Here, let me give you a hand' I said noticing that he was having a hard
time, and reached for the other handle. 

The trunk was extremely heavily, and I wondered silently how he'd
managed to carry it all the way from the village to the house, and then 
I started to wonder why exactly he'd turned up on her doorstep. I 
stopped for a breather and Harry straightened up as well and sat on the 
lid of the trunk. 

‘How the hell did you manage to carry this all the way from the village?
I asked breathing heavily. 

‘Acting on adrenaline I guess. It's a lot heavier now' he replied,
taking off his cap and pushing his sweaty hair from his face. 

‘Harry, what happened to your eye?' I cried. 

I jumped up after noticing a deep purple and yellow bruise that had
covered the side of one face, and tilted his head so I could see it in 
the light being cast off by the moon. I ran my other finger across the 
large bruise, which was still swelling. Harry flinched slightly, and I 
suddenly became aware of what I was doing. I dropped my arms to my side 
and stepped backwards, wringing my hands slightly out of nerves. 

‘I had an argument with a doorframe' said Harry, shoving his cap back on
and getting to his feet. 

I helped him carry the heavy trunk to the back garden, and paused
outside the back door. Everyone was still sat around the dinner table, 
and I opened the door a crack and poked my head in. Everyone turned to 
look at me and I cleared my throat nervously. 

‘Ah, everyone, look who I found outside' I said, stepping out the way. 

Harry sidled into the room, standing nervously by the doorway, looking
ready to bolt. 

‘HARRY!' came the shout in unison as everyone got up from their chairs
and enveloped him in a group hug. 

* 

Dear Diary 

You will never believe what happened! Harry turned up last night! I was
scared stiff to be honest, in the shadows he looked like Tom so much 
that I nearly fainted with fright! I've never thought about it before, 
but he's the same height, same build, same hair and everything. Anyway, 
after making a complete fool out of myself I managed to start talking 
to him, I think I must have been in shock, because I didn't really 
contemplate that it was him until a little while later, and then it 
went all quiet and embarrassed. 

Anyway, all was ok until I saw his face – he's got the biggest, most
painful looking bruise there. He told me he walked into a doorframe, 
but I'm not stupid. Someone did that to him. I'm prepared to bet any 
amount of money that it was his uncle. They must have thrown him out – 
there's no other reason he would go against Dumbledore's orders! So I 
completely forgot myself and reached out to touch it, and now I'm 
squealing with embarrassment, and I think I hurt him as well. 

By the time we got to the house, I was back to my shy, awkward self
again and when the whole kitchen opened their arms to him, I decided 
that I needed dome sleep. I'm sorry I didn't write to you last night, 
but I had so much in my head that I couldn't write it down on paper. 

I've kept myself to my room mostly today, and doing jobs around the
house. Mum's fixed Harry's face and now there's no mark – apart from 
his scar of course. I've often noticed it with Harry, but now more 
clearly than ever. His eyes have a real haunted look – of someone whose 
seen more things than many people see in a lifetime. Their old looking, 
as if he's seen all there is to see, and that nothing would ever shock 
him now. I know hardly anything that's happened in his life, but there 
must be things that have happened to him to make them like that. Like 
in his first year when he faced Professor Quirrell and You-Know-Who, 
and during the Chamber of Secrets, and the Triwizard tournament. 

I wonder if he thinks he's like Tom Riddle – I wonder if he knew who I
was talking about when I called him Tom last night? I hope not – he 
already thinks I'm a baby. 

I think he's told mum what happened, and definitely Ron, but as usual no
one decides to tell Ginny. I'm decided to try a block out his presence 
in the house like I usually do, and try and stay out of the way until 
we go back to Hogwarts. 

I better go to bed now, mum and dad will be up soon and I don't want
them to catch me with this. 

Love Ginny 

I put my pen down, and closed the book, sighing slightly as the same
thought went through my head that always does when I look at the diary. 
Am I doing the right thing? I shouldn't have the diary and I knew it, 
it would worry everyone who saw me with it, especially Ron. He was the 
one who was affected the most by the whole Chamber of Secrets thing.  I 
decided to leave my thoughts till the morning, and placed the diary 
into the bag and back into the wall. 

I pulled the blankets over my head and waited for sleep to overtake my
racing thoughts, praying nightmares wouldn't follow me. 

I heard a noise and opened my eyes, looking around my room, except, it
wasn't my room. It was a large stone chamber and snakes were slithering 
up the walls. I felt the familiar fear grip me as I looked up from 
where I was lying, between the legs of a giant statue. Then I saw the 
two people that were in the chamber with me, twins. Harry and Tom. 

The only way I could tell Harry and Tom apart was their clothes – they
were dressed in the traditional fairytale colours of black and white. 
Good and evil. 

Tom turned his wand on Harry faster than he could dodge it and there's
was a blinding green flash. When I opened my eyes again, there was 
Harry, lying spread eagle on the floor, eyes staring at me 
unblinkingly. Tom turned to me, walking slowly laughing at my pathetic 
attempts to struggle free from the snakes that had bound my hands 
together. 

‘You're my best friend Tom...No one understands me like you do...Do you
think Harry could ever like me?' mimicked Tom leaning into my face and 
smiling evilly. 

‘The good guys always win...No one ever dies...Good always overcomes
evil' cackled Tom, ‘I hate to tell you Ginny, but your wrong. The bad 
guys always win because they do whatever it takes to do so, people 
always die and evil is ever present, I feel it inside of you, inside of 
Harry. Everyone' 

I gave a huge sob as I broke free from the snakes binding my hands
together and ran over to Harry, tried to hide behind him and protect 
myself. His wide green eyes stared back at me, hollow and empty, and 
his lifeless body was cold to the touch. 

‘No one to save you this time Ginny' whispered Tom, raising his wand and
uttering a curse. A green flash of light blinded my eyes. 

‘NOOOOOOOO!' I screamed, sitting bolt upright in bed breathing heavily. 

I tried desperately to calm my pounding heart, and ran a shaking hand
through my hair, waiting to hear if anyone had been woken up. After a 
few minutes of silence, I was convinced I had got away with it, and I 
crawled out of my bed and down the stairs. 

I walked into the kitchen and got myself a glass of water, before
walking into the living room. I fell into the comfy sofa in front of 
the glowing embers, and nearly screamed when I felt something solid 
beneath me. I jumped out of the seat and shoved my fist into my mouth 
to stop me shouting out as I tried to see what I had sat on. 

‘I don't know if my lap is a comfy as the couch' whispered a familiar
voice through the gloom. 

‘Harry! You nearly gave me a heart attack!' I whispered back, still
trying to calm my pounding heart. 

I felt my way to the sofa and dropped into the empty space, acutely
aware that I was sitting alone, in the dark, with Harry Potter. I could 
hear Harry sniggering to himself, and I couldn't help but laugh myself, 
it would have been funny if I hadn't been so scared at the time. 

‘What are you doing down here?' he asked after he finished laughing to
himself. 

‘It's my house, What are you doing down here?' I asked pulling the
fleecy blanket up to my chin. 

‘Couldn't sleep' he said simply, and as far as I could tell lying
through his teeth. 

After a long silence I began to relax. I was sleepier than I thought and
my eyes were drooping slightly, I tried to even my breathing so I could 
fall asleep faster, still aware of who was sitting next to me. 

‘Your gonna give me a heart attack if you keep sneaking up on me like
this' I mumbled probably incoherently through the blanket. 

‘Hey, you're the one that surprised me this time' said Harry sleepily. 

‘Why are you here Harry?' I asked before I could stop myself, I was too
tired to really care anyway. 

‘I couldn't sleep with Ron's snoring, it's quieter down here' mumbled
Harry. 

‘No I mean here, at the Burrow' I said, cursing myself for a second time
for asking such a stupid question. 

‘Oh. Had an argument with my uncle' he replied quietly, ‘I decided I'd
rather face Voldemort than them for another two weeks' 

A shiver chased down my spine at the name he spoke out loud, and broke
me from my sleepy stupor. My heart was pounding faster again as I 
thought about my nightmare and whether another one would shortly 
follow. 

‘You always have nightmares or is tonight an exception?' mumbled Harry
into the arm of the sofa. 

I stiffened slightly at his question, wondering where the new found
perceptiveness had come from – before telling myself I didn't know what 
his personality was like at all. 

‘Perhaps. They're more common now than they used to be' I replied
evasively. 

‘Umm I know what you mean' he said. 

I sat up at this and turned to look at him in wonder. His face was
squashed into the arm of the sofa, and he looked nearly asleep. But 
here he was – the Harry Potter – telling me that he had nightmares all 
the time? It was surreal, no doubt about that. I lay back into my 
position, trying to fall asleep. Drowsiness washed over me in waves, 
until my brain decided sleep was the answer. 

‘It's all right though. Its all over now' came a voice on the edge of my
consciousness before I fell fast asleep. 

* 

Dear Diary 

You would not believe it if I told you that I spent last night sleeping
with Harry Potter! Granted it was a couch and granted nothing happened 
but it's the principle of thing. We spent a few minutes talking, but we 
were both so tired that we fell straight asleep. But he did tell me 
something strange. He told me that he has nightmares often, and it made 
me think. 

I've always thought of him as indestructible until the Triwizard
tournament and brave and some kind of superhero because in a way he did 
save my life. But the more I watch him, the more I realise he's just a 
normal person. He gets happy and sad about normal things, gets angry 
and shouts like everyone does had nightmares and gets scared like 
everyone else. This is the side I've never seen before, or chose not to 
see. 

When I woke up the next morning he wasn't there, and I made my way over
to the kitchen table. About half an hour later Ron and Harry turned up 
looking dishevelled and tired. It amazed me that Harry had time to go 
to sleep on the couch, wake up, get to Ron's room and fall asleep in 
there as well in short a such space of time. Ron greeted me with his 
usual early morning grunt, and Harry did the same, delving into a bowl 
of cereal as if nothing had happened. Thus proving my earlier theory 
that either Harry doesn't care or just doesn't notice me. 

Ginny Weasley...call me Miss Furniture. 

Anyway, I better go, I can here Ron calling me which must mean Hermione
has arrived. She's taking a direct Floo ride from Viktor Krum's house 
in Bulgaria – something that has had Ron seething about for over a 
week. I think it's incredibly funny that everyone sees what doing on 
except him and Hermione, they must either be blind or stupid, and since 
be talking about Hermione here, I'm tempted to go with the first. 

Love Ginny 

I hastily hid my diary, and ran down the stairs ready to great Hermione.
I love it when Hermione comes to visit us, I'm the only girl in the 
whole house apart from mum of course, and sometimes it's nice to stop 
being one of the guys. I got into the living room, and headed over to 
the fireplace noticing with a huge grin that not only was Hermione 
here, but she had her arms around my brother. 

‘Get a room you two' I said, noticing with a smirk that they jumped
apart rather quickly. 

‘We weren't –‘ started Ron, whose face was going an interesting shade of
red. 

‘It was only a hug Ginny' said Hermione seriously, whose cheeks also
looked slightly flushed. 

‘Oh really?' I questioned, arching my eyebrows at their discomfort –
sometimes it was so obvious. 

I became aware of someone trying not to laugh behind me, and I turned
around to see Harry leaning against the doorway clutching a piece of 
toast in his hand. My stomach gave the usual flutter that it did in his 
presence, and I quickly looked away to save myself any more 
embarrassment. 

‘Harry?' shrieked Hermione, running forward and pulling him into a hug,
I couldn't help but laugh at the panic spreading across his features as 
Hermione held him in a head lock. 

‘Yeah' he choked, prising Hermione away and rubbing his throat slightly.


‘What are you doing here?' she asked, looking at Ron for an explanation.


Ron merely shrugged awkwardly, and I noticed Harry's eyes dart nervously
in my direction. I can take a hint. Whatever it was, Ginny shouldn't 
know. 

‘I'm going outside' I said abruptly, hurrying from the room acutely
aware of the eyes following my every move. 

I breathed steadily when I got outside, and decided to go for a walk. I
pulled on a pair of battered trainers and headed in the direction of my 
tree. I walked past, meaning to go into the woods around the house when 
something in the grass caught my eye. It was my sketchbook, still lying 
where I'd dropped it the night Harry arrived. Thankfully the weather 
had been good the last few days and the traditional English rain had 
held off. 

I picked up my pad and looked at the picture again, feeling suddenly
nervous in case anyone had seen what I had drawn. The one person in the 
picture was so obviously Harry, and what would they think if I'd been 
comparing him to Tom? It's really quite uncanny, the similarities 
between the two. They can both speak Parseltongue, from what Tom told 
me they were both orphans, raised by muggles, good students and they 
even look alike. 

I found myself feeling slightly scared by the idea, and words from my
dream the other night came back to haunt me. ‘Evil is ever present, I 
feel it inside of you, inside of Harry' Tom had told me, was he right? 
Do I have evil inside me? Does Harry? I suppose everyone must have a 
dark side, and memories of things I had done in my first year 
resurfaced. I killed the roosters, I wrote the messages on the wall, I 
did all of those wrong, evil things – does that make me evil? 

I felt slightly nauseous, remembering my first year and the path my
thoughts were taking me so I decided to head home. Suddenly the cool 
woods held fear and loneliness instead of peace and solitude, and I 
grasped my sketchpad and pencils to me as I ran home. I'm doing it for 
the exercise I told myself, there's no other reason I'm running. 

I got into the house and breathed a sigh of relief, quietly creeping
past the living room where Harry, Ron and Hermione were sat hoping to 
make it to my bedroom unnoticed. 

‘Dumbledore's coming to see me today' came Harry's voice floating up the
stairwell. 

I told myself not to listen, not to eavesdrop but there was no other way
I would ever find out what was happening. 

‘What's going to happen?' asked Hermione fearfully. 

‘He's going to make me go back. I can't stay here. He won't let me' said
Harry heavily. 

Harry was going back to those people? How could Dumbledore do that?
Harry was a million times safer with us, than with the Dursleys. I 
looked down at my picture, deciding I really ought to try and hide it 
so I made my way quietly up the stairs. 

As I got into my room, I checked for any sign of the twins, who usually
enjoyed hiding in there to scare me, and then pulled out a large folder 
from under my bed. It was full of drawings and paintings I have done of 
the years, some on parchment, others on muggle paper. There were 
pictures of the family, pictures of my brothers, friends, animals, 
scenery. My absolute favourite one of all time is a picture of Ron and 
Harry, drawn just before the Quidditch World Cup. They had been playing 
Quidditch themselves and had finally collapsed in a state of exhaustion 
on the grass. I was thrilled with this picture, their likeness to the 
real people were amazing and even though I am completely modest about 
my drawing skills, it's the best I've ever drawn. 

I slid the picture of the Chamber of Secrets into a separate file. This
was my file full of pictures I've drawn when I'm sad or angry or upset. 
Most of them had Tom in them I had realised a few months ago, or the 
Chamber of Secrets, or the Triwizard tournament. 

I placed the files under my bed, and hastily rearranged my bedspread as
I heard feet approaching my door. It was Ron and Hermione, but instead 
of coming in, they walked straight up to Ron's room. I felt a little 
put out, and decided to do some drawing, it usually helped pass the 
time. I searched everywhere for some pencils, but realised I had left 
them by the tree, so I made my way downstairs quietly, to search to 
cupboard in the living room. 

There was no one in the room, but the fire was crackling merrily and
there was an air of expectancy about the place. I quickly started 
rooting through the darkness of the cupboard when I heard a voice. I 
straightened up and when I saw who it was, instinctively stepped into 
the closet and pulled the door nearly to, closing it until just a 
fraction light was visible. 

‘Good morning Harry' came the old voice from the living room. 

‘Professor' acknowledged Harry, somewhat stiffly in my opinion. 

‘Harry, you were told to stay at your uncles home, I cannot believe you
would take such a risk travelling half way across the country on your 
own' Dumbledore said, with disappointment lacing his voice. 

‘I know that Sir, but I couldn't help it. I didn't have anywhere else to
go' replied Harry, apparently taken aback by Dumbledore's 
disappointment. 

I shifted uncomfortably in the dark, aware that I was not supposed to be
listening to this conversation, and hating eavesdropping, but there was 
nothing I could do about it now. 

‘And why did you leave?' asked Dumbledore. 

‘I didn't leave' said Harry angrily, ‘I was thrown out' 

‘I see' said Dumbledore thoughtfully, followed by a long and
uncomfortable silence. 

I was trying to quieten my breathing which seemed to be magnified by the
small closet. The silence lasted a long time, and I had almost thought 
the conversation had finished when the voices started up again. 

‘Are you able to go back?' Dumbledore asked. 

‘I don't know,' said Harry stubbornly, ‘But I wouldn't even if I could' 

‘Harry, you must live with the Dursleys, they are your protection. I
have told you this before' said Dumbledore calmly. 

‘They are not protecting me though' said Harry through gritted teeth,
‘They're just making things worse' 

‘Harry, I can see that you have your problems with them, but running
away never sort anything out' 

‘It's sorted this out good enough for me' said Harry stoically. 

‘Harry, you may think you are safe here, but let me tell you this. The
night you ran away, I know for a fact there were Death Eaters in your 
area. They are everywhere now and you cannot trust anybody. How would 
you know if the driver of the Knight Bus was not a Death Eater, or the 
person you walked past in the street? You will never be safe unless you 
stick to the rules put in place for your protection' Dumbledore told 
him severely. 

‘Screw the rules, I'm not spending one more night in the house, and I
won't go back. I rather take my chances' said Harry angrily. 

‘Harry getting angry with me won't sort this out. This house does not
hold the necessary protection to keep you safe, your uncle's house 
does. You must go back' reasoned Dumbledore. 

‘No' whispered Harry. 

‘Harry you must-‘ started Dumbledore before he was cut off. 

‘No! I will not go back there' cried Harry passionately. 

There was a lingering silence and through the crack in the door I could
see Dumbledore watching Harry as he paced across the room. I held my 
breath as I waited for the conversation to continue. 

‘Please don't make me go back' pleaded Harry, gazing into the eyes of
the headmaster, ‘Please' 

Dumbledore carried on watching Harry, and seemed to be doing a serious
amount of thinking. Finally he stood up and paced the room himself. I 
prayed that he would let Harry stay, and not make him go back to that 
house. 

‘Fine Harry. Have it your way. You may stay here, however, you are not
allowed outside of this house and its protective ward, and you must 
inform someone of your exact movements during the day' said Dumbledore 
heavily. 

‘Thank you Sir. I truly mean it' said Harry sincerely. 

‘Yes well Harry you must be careful. This is against my better
judgement. Now show me to Mr and Mrs Weasley, there is much I will need 
to discuss with them' he said, allowing himself to be led out of the 
room by a grateful looking Harry. 

After a few minutes, when there was no chance of Dumbledore returning I
slipped out of the cupboard and darted up the stairs, not stopping 
until I was safely in my room. 

‘Where have you been?' came Hermione's disapproving voice, as I turned
around to see her and Ron sitting on my bed. 

* 

Dear Diary 

You will not believe what I have just heard. Dumbledore came round here
to try and make Harry go back to the Dursleys and they had a really 
long conversation about it. I've never seen Harry talk so freely and 
passionately about something. Whatever happened the night when he ran 
away it must have been bad – and for a moment I thought Dumbledore was 
going to make him go back. 

Harry has been on cloud number 9 ever since Dumbledore allowed him to
stay with us though. It doesn't matter him that he can't go out of the 
garden, just being here seems to make him happy. I am so happy he's 
here though, I know I've only had two conversations with him since he 
arrived, but that's two more than last year, which has got to be a good 
sign. 

I thought Ron and Hermione had guessed where I had been after I listened
to Harry's conversation with Dumbledore. They were sitting on my bed 
waiting for me. I managed to stumble an explanation how I'd been in the 
garden, but Hermione was looking at me very suspiciously. Anyway that 
was yesterday and ever since I've hardly seen any of them. They're 
constantly in Ron's room, or out in the garden, and as usual I'm left 
alone. It's amazing that in a house full of people, I manage to feel so 
lonely. People constantly surround me, but still I feel like I am all 
alone. No one here really knows the real Ginny Weasley and sometimes I 
wish I could stop being sweet little innocent Ginny, and just be 
someone else, someone different. 

I better go, it looks like everyone's heading to the fields to play
Quidditch, but mums confined me to the house with this stupid cold. I 
hope she finds the cure soon, I hate this bunged up feeling. 

Love Ginny 

I placed my pen down, and picked up my sketchbook and tissues and headed
for the living room. I had just settled down and was flipping through 
my pages trying to find a blank sheet to draw on, when I heard Harry, 
Ron and Hermione come down the stairs. I carried on looking for a blank 
page as they walked in. 

‘Come on, just because I can't go doesn't mean you all have to stay with
me' moaned Harry, flopping on the coach opposite me. 

‘Yes well, me and Ron have a lot of homework we could be doing, don't we
Ron?' asked Hermione staring pointedly at Ron, who obviously didn't 
catch her drift. 

‘Nah, mines all finished, and you said you had as well' he said, looking
confused at Hermione's rolling eyes. 

‘Precisely, go out and have fun' said Harry apparently annoyed at the
great discussion deciding to go outside had caused. 

‘I don't want to leave you here all alone' said Hermione, still shooting
annoyed glances at Ron. 

‘I'm not going to be on my own. Ginny's here' Harry pointed out, much to
the embarrassment of Hermione. 

Serves you right I thought, while secretly whooping with joy that Harry
had noticed I wasn't a piece of furniture. I looked up and smiled at 
Hermione, who looked slightly flustered. 

‘Aren't you coming with us Ginny?' asked Hermione, trying to cover up
her blunder. 

‘Can't. Mom won't let me go outside with this cold' I told her, showing
her the box of tissues. 

‘Come on people lets get this show on the road!' came Fred's shout as
everyone piled into the living room, brooms slung over shoulders. 

Everyone trooped out, and Hermione ad Ron followed, shooting occasional
lances at Harry who was laid back in the chair with his eyes closed. 
Finally the house emptied of Quidditch fanatics and I became aware that 
once again, I was alone with Harry Potter. 

‘Honestly, you'd think they were trying to protect me 24/7' sighed
Harry, looking up to the dusty ceiling. 

I laughed along with him, and turned to a nearly complete drawing I had
found in my sketchbook. It was of a giant bird, with golden feathers 
and glittering eyes. It looked familiar and I realised that it was the 
phoenix from the Chamber of Secrets. I gave an involuntary shudder at 
the memory, and shut the book, suddenly loosing my appetite for 
drawing. 

Harry was still sprawled across the chair, looking incredibly bored and
I decided to bite the bullet. Be someone else for a while I said to 
myself as I pulled the chessboard from the shelf. 

‘You want to play?' I asked, motioning to the chessboard, praying he
didn't say no. 

‘Sure. But I must warn you, I suck big time' said Harry, pulling himself
up and sitting in front of the board. ‘Black or white?' he asked me, 
looking at the pieces. 

Suddenly the image of my dream came into my mind, black and white, good
and evil. I stared thoughtfully down at the chess pieces, trying to 
decide which one I would be. One of us would have to be the evil side I 
thought as I looked from piece to piece. 

‘You don't need to think about it so much you know' said Harry laughing
and spinning to board towards him, ‘You can be white, that way you go 
first' 

‘Sure' I said, looking down at the pieces, suddenly I didn't really feel
like playing anymore. 

We played in silence for a few minutes and began to really regret asking
to play, I was happy before with my sketchbook. 

‘So, you looking forward to going back to school?' asked Harry, breaking
me out of my reverie. 

‘Yeah, this house gets a little claustrophobic' I answered while moving
my queen across the board, ‘What about you?' 

‘I suppose so, I'm a bit worried to tell you the truth' he admitted,
flinching as my queen wrestled his knight to the floor. 

‘Why is that?' 

‘Oh, just worried about people reactions, and the end of last year' he
told me. 

I looked up and studied his face that was screwed up in concentration.
He seemed to be talking in autopilot, like when you're totally 
preoccupied by something. I ran my fingers through my hair haphazardly, 
and paid attention to the game in hand, and lifetime's worth of games 
against Ron had taught me a few things. 

‘I'm sure it will be ok. You did the right thing' I said, feeling my
face flush with unreasonable embarrassment. 

‘Cedric's parents are very grateful' I said. 

‘Fat lot of good it did though didn't it?' he said, eyes downcast and
face glum. 

‘Ask his parents that and see what they say' I told him, preparing to
end the game. 

‘Yeah well...' he said, unable to think of anything to say. 

The was a long silence, and I continued playing the game, wishing the
new person I was trying to be was a bit more different than me. 

‘Checkmate' I told him, leaning back in my chair smiling slightly. 

‘You've been taking lessons off Ron haven't you? Admit it' said Harry,
pushing away the board and resuming his previous position on the couch. 


‘Maybe' I said evasively, and pulling out my sketchpad and finding a
blank page again. I drew out my pencils and looked thoughtfully around 
for inspiration. I noticed Harry was looking decidedly bored, so the 
new Ginny made a decision. 

‘I've got something for you, let me just go and get it' I said, getting
out of my chair and quickly moving up the stairs. 

I returned a few moments later to see a bewildered Harry watching me. 

‘I bought it in Diagon Alley a few weeks ago, I was going to give it to
you for your birthday but I guess I must have forgotten about it' I 
said in a rush handing him the book. 

‘Hogwarts: A Quidditch History' Harry read, looking up with amusement
and amazement. 

‘It's one of those books that continually updates itself, see you're in
there' I said pointing to them team photograph from two years before. 

The whole team was stood around their brooms holding up the Quidditch
Cup. Fred and George were holding up Harry who was beaming and Oliver 
Wood was holding the Cup aloft with a look of pure ecstasy on his face. 


‘Wow Ginny' Harry breathed, ‘this is amazing!' 

I sat back a sighed contentedly to myself, as Harry spent the next hour
and a half submerged in the book. I had looked through it before I got 
it and it detailed every match in Hogwarts since the game was invented 
including all the teams' names, statistics, records and matches. I had 
read the entire page of Harry, entitled ‘youngest seeker in a century', 
and it was quite strange. There was not one mention of his past, and 
for the first time he was in a book for something he did, instead of 
something that happened to him. 

‘You like it?' I asked after he had sat in the position for over two
hours. 

‘It's fantastic, there's stuff in here I've never heard about!' said
Harry excitedly. 

I smiled to myself. I like the new Ginny I thought as I watched his
happy childlike face, the old Ginny would never have dreamed of 
actually giving him the book. 

‘I'm glad' I said, continuing with my picture. 

* 

Dear Diary, 

After the initial good start to the holiday with Harry, its all gone
downhill. The new Ginny decided she would rather not make an appearance 
and after a few more tried and failed times trying to speak to Harry, 
I've decided to give up. He loved the book, and I'm so glad I decided 
to give it to him, but lately he'd become very distant. 

I've heard him moving around downstairs, a few nights in a row, which
must mean he's having nightmares or can't sleep through Ron's snoring. 
My own nightmares are becoming more frequent, but I'm always to scared 
to go downstairs now, in case he's there. 

I wonder where he's going to live if his uncle and aunt have really
thrown him out? I'm sure mum would hesitate in giving Harry a room, but 
Dumbledore says there isn't enough protection on this house for him. I 
wonder what it must be like, stuck in this house constantly, because 
it's to dangerous to even go outside for fear of being attacked? What 
kind of life can you have if you spent your whole life in hiding? 

I'm so glad I'm just boring old Ginny Weasley, I'd hate to have his
life. It's only a week till Hogwarts now and then it's over for another 
year until he comes back to the Burrow. 

Oh well, I better go and get dinner, everyone's waiting for me. 

Love Ginny. 

* 

I was having a nightmare, and I knew it. It's one of the nightmares
where you know your dreaming, but there's nothing you can do until it's 
run it's full course. Tom Riddle was teasing me as usual, and I was 
trying to fight back and get away. 

‘I'm coming to get you Ginny' he was saying, shaking me slightly. 

‘Get away from me, please' I moaned, twisting and turning in his vice
like grip. 

‘There's no one here to save you now' he said, laughing evilly. 

‘Please, leave me alone' 

‘Ginny!' 

‘Get away from me Tom' 

‘Ginny!' 

I felt myself being shaken and my eyes flew open. The living room was
dark, and the only light was coming from the fire. Someone was leant 
over me, grasping my wrist. 

‘Tom...Please leave me alone' I cried trying to struggle free from the
hand. 

‘Ginny, it's ok, it's me' said the voice. 

‘No, no, no, get away from me' I shouted, pushing and kicking at the
person in front of me. 

The hands left my wrists and I jumped to my feet and darted behind the
couch, disorientated by the darkness and the tears blurring my vision I 
ran into something solid. 

‘Ginny, it's me Harry' said the something solid I'd just walked into. 

‘H – Harry?' I questioned blankly. 

‘Yeah Ginny it's only me, you were having a nightmare' said the voice,
stepping forward into the light so I could see his face again. I 
stumbled backwards away from him, aware of how much the light made his 
features seem eerie, It could be Tom in front of me and I wouldn't 
know. 

‘Hey are you ok?' asked Harry, stepping towards me again. 

‘I'm fine' I gasped, after taking another step backwards. 

‘I'm not going to hurt you, you know' he said, no doubt worried by my
strange reaction to him. 

‘I know that' I replied weakly, backing away from him further. 

‘Are you sure your ok?' he asked anxiously. 

‘Stop doing that' I said shrilly, loosing my head after the fear of my
dream. 

‘Doing what?' 

‘Stop coming after me, you're scaring me' I cried as he moved closer
again. 

‘Ginny I'm sorry, I'm not trying to scare you, I just want to see if
you're ok' said Harry, stopping in his tracks, looking shocked by the 
firelight. 

‘I'm fine, I'm fine now, you just scared me that's all' I said shakily,
trying to regain some kind of calm ‘You just look like him that's all' 

‘Like who?' asked Harry. 

‘No one. It was just a dream, just a stupid dream' I said calming
myself. 

‘Tom...' Harry whispered, comprehension suddenly dawning, ‘...you think
I look like Tom' 

‘No I don't, not at all, no way' I rambled, clutching he blanket to me
slightly. 

‘You keep saying it, you said it when I arrived as well' he said
accusingly. 

I felt completely helpless, Harry knew what I thought about him. He knew
I thought he looked like Tom, he hated me. He'd noticed I called him 
that before as well, I felt a flush creeping up my neck. 

‘I'm not like him Ginny' said Harry quietly. 

‘I know your not' I said dropping my arms to my sides in hopelessness,
‘It's just you scared me, I was dreaming about him, and I woke up to 
see you, I'm tired and irrational. I'm sorry' 

Harry nodded as if he understood, but I felt my apology was too
insignificant and petty. 

‘Your not like him at all Harry. You're good and kind and brave, and he
was a liar and a traitor. You're not the same at all' I said 
passionately, trying to make amends. 

‘I'm none of those things Ginny. You think I'm some kind of superhero or
something. But I'm not, I'm just a normal person' said Harry heavily, 
apparently I'd said the wrong thing again. 

‘I know that now. I'm sorry' I sat said, walking past him and climbing
the stairs to my bedroom. I climbed into my own bed and pulled the 
covers over my head, and tried to fall asleep again. The conversation 
I'd just had with Harry kept running through my head, I groaned into my 
pillow as I thought about how stupid I'd been, of course it couldn't 
have been Tom, why was I being so stupid, and now I'd gone and hurt 
Harry. I'm a stupid, stupid girl I cursed myself. 

* 

Dear Diary 

What a horrible, horrible day I've had today. Not only did I absolutely
freak Harry out by having a nightmare, but also I told him he reminded 
me of Tom Riddle. Who would want to hear that they reminded you of one 
of the most powerful dark wizards of our time's younger self? Oh it's 
too terrible. 

I get squeamish when I think about, but thankfully, I haven't had to
worry about seeing Harry today. My colds got a million times worse and 
I've decided to stay in bed all day. I haven't seen his since I ran out 
of the room last night, and I don't want too ever again. Oh what am I 
talking about? Of course I want to see him again, I just wish that last 
night never happened. Maybe there's a spell around that can do it? 

It's worth checking out, but at the moment the solitude of my room is
perfectly satisfactory. I can't wait to get to Hogwarts so I can avoid 
him, this house is so claustrophobic sometimes. I still can't believe I 
was so stupid. I probably said one of the most hurtful, nasty things to 
someone I've ever said – and it was to Harry. 

Oh god, kill me now, please. 

I've got to go. 

Love Ginny. 

I put my pen down and swiftly hid my diary and snuggled down into my
bed, wrapping the thick folds of material around my bunged up head. Why 
oh why did I say that last night? It was so obviously Harry – how could 
I be so stupid? 

‘Knock Knock' came a voice on my bedroom door. 

‘Hmmm' I said, opening my eyes slightly to look at the person who had
just walked into my room. 

‘Hey Ginny, I got you some soup' said Hermione, kneeling down by my
bedside. 

‘Thanks' I told her, propping myself on my elbows. 

‘God you look terrible' said Hermione, before blushing, ‘No offence I
mean, you've just that sickly look to you, and there's a whole set of 
luggage under your eyes. 

‘Oh gee, thanks Hermione' I said sarcastically, not bothering to tell
her the eyes weren't from the cold, it was from the whole night I had 
spent awake. 

‘Don't worry, your mom's found the cure, she's cooking it up right now,
you should be able to come downstairs in half an hour. You can help me 
beat Harry and Ron at chess' said Hermione playfully. 

‘Uh uh, no way, I'm staying in bed' I said, spooning the thick chicken
soup into my mouth, grimacing at my sore throat. 

‘Aw come on Gin, Harry'll be there' Hermione wheedled. 

‘Exactly' I muttered, instantly regretting it. 

‘Gin, you don't need to be embarrassed about him now. I think Harry's
really made a friend in you this holiday' said Hermione knowledgeably, 
‘Anyway, he's a bit down today, he could do with some cheering up' 

I nearly choked on my soup, as I looked fearfully at Hermione – had
Harry told her? I sighed in frustration and bit my lip as I thought 
about last night. Against all hope and prayers my eyes started to get 
blurry with tears, and unfortunately Hermione was still in the room. 
Before I could stop myself the salty tears began to trickle down my 
face, and I drew in a shuddery breath, trying to control my emotions. 

‘Ginny? What's wrong? Oh come here' said Hermione anxiously pulling me
into a hug. 

I shrugged her away and wiped my face forcefully with the back of my
hand, cursing myself for being such a baby. 

‘I'm so stupid' I scolded myself. 

‘Ginny – your not stupid. Never think that' Hermione reprimanded me,
looking intently into my eyes, ‘What's wrong?' 

‘I did something really stupid Hermione' I said gloomily, picking at the
fraying edge of my pillow, willing Hermione to get up and leave. 

‘What?' 

‘I said something incredibly, amazing stupid and hurtful to Harry last
night. I didn't mean to, it just came out and now-‘ I whispered, 
struggling against my tears again. 

‘Come on Ginny, you can tell me' said Hermione, settling on the bed in
front of me, obviously not about to go away. 

I took a deep shuddering breath, and launched into the story of what
happened last night, starting with my dream, and waking up and then 
what I said to Harry. I felt my face flush an impossibly deep shade of 
red when I told her what I'd called him, and what he'd said. 

‘Oh Hermione, what am I going to do?' I cried after I finished,
clutching my face in my hands with fresh tears pouring down my face. 

‘Oh Ginny, it's not as bad as you think. You apologised, I'm sure Harry
doesn't hate you. He been called a lot worse than that you know' said 
Hermione, shocked at the state I was in I think. 

‘It is as bad as I think, nobody ever said he was like Tom did they? I
can't believe I said it, I was so upset, and it's been hovering in the 
back of my mind for ages. What's he going to think of me now?' I cried. 


‘Don't worry Ginny, he has a lot more important things to think about,
we all do. You wait and see, it'll all be forgotten in a few days, and 
we'll laugh about this' said Hermione consolingly. 

I gave a watery smile, hoping against all hope that Hermione was right. 

‘That's better, now you eat your soup, and I'll bring up your medicine
in a minute. I'll go and speak to Harry, and we can go down and have a 
game of chess' said Hermione brightly. 

She gave me an encouraging smile, and walked out the room. I ate a few
more spoonfuls of the soup, and then poured the rest of it down the 
sink. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm anorexic or something – I 
just can't stand the huge meals that everyone eats in this house. Half 
an hour later Hermione came in, smoking goblet in hand, forcing me to 
drink every last bitter drop. 

‘Lets face the music' said Hermione pulling me out of bed. 

I threw on a pair of jeans, and donned a baseball cap Bill had sent me
after a visit to America. I loved the cap because it always smelled of 
him, and the long peak could be a useful aid when you wanted to hide 
your eyes. It was a favourite for long family picnics and long lost 
relative meetings as I could safely sleep while looking as though I was 
merely shy. 

The potion began to take effect and my nose was getting a lot clearer as
I stumbled down the stairs, feeling as though my legs were under the 
jelly legs curse. I walked into the living room, and realised that 
Harry was there – sitting right next to Ron. My stomach gave a horrible 
guilty churn as I watch my feet doing the walking. I could feel his 
eyes on my back, and I flopped into the seat furthest away from them 
regretting coming out of the warmth and security of my bed. 

‘Are you feeling better Ginny?' came a voice from the opposite side of
the room. 

I looked up, and my eyes met a pair of startling green ones looking
right at me, accompanied by a small smile. I felt the familiar feelings 
of a flush creeping up my neck, and felt like I did when I first knew 
him – shy and stupid. 

‘Ginny? Are you ok?' he asked again – apparently worried by the amount
of time it was taking me to answer. 

‘Uh yeah, I'm fine now' I said stupidly a few moments later – why can't
I put together a normal sentence? 

I sat in my chair, acutely aware of Ron's bewildered stare, Hermione's
beaming smile, and Harry's thoughtful expression. I gave an 
uncomfortable squirm and I wished they would stop staring at me and do 
something. While secretly wondering if Harry had really forgiven me, or 
whether Hermione had put him up to it. 

Finally the three got down to their own work. Ron and Harry were playing
chess, and Hermione came and sat by me, and we played exploding snap 
for while. The sun was sinking and soon I could hear mum rattling pots 
and pans ready for dinner. 

‘We should go and help your mum make dinner Ron' said Hermione, urging
Ron away from the room for no reason I could imagine. 

‘Yeah ok' said Ron grudgingly abandoning the game and following her out
of the room. 

I laughed to myself at Hermione, but inside my heart was thudding
uncomfortably, again I was all alone with Harry – but I wish I was just 
on my own. My thoughts returned to last night, and I covered my face 
with my hands in horror of the thought. I wonder is Harry really had 
forgiven me, or am I asking too much? The seconds crawled by, and I 
fidgeted nervously, aware of the uncomfortable silence in the air. The 
whole house seemed still, even the twins were being quiet, and it was 
if the whole place was holding its breath, waiting for something. 

‘Listen Harry about last night...' I started, keeping my eyes safely
hidden beneath the cap. 

‘Forget it, it's not important' said Harry bluntly. 

‘It is though. I'm really sorry, I didn't know what I was saying I was
so distracted by my nightmare and it was dark and I couldn't see you, I 
was just being paranoid' I tried to explain, trying to make him 
understand my completely stupid blunder. 

‘I understand. Really I do. Now lets just forget about it ok?' said
Harry, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation. 

‘No, I want you to understand that truly you aren't like him at all.
Your the exact opposite to everything he stands for, you just look a 
little alike that's all' I finished meekly, realising my apology wasn't 
really going the way I wanted it to. 

‘It's ok Ginny, you don't need to be so apologetic. The same thoughts
went through my head after the Chamber of Secrets and everything – even 
he said it. It's just one of those strange things' Harry told me. 

I looked up for the first time, and saw that he was toying with a hole
that was in the couch arm, pulling the fluff out of it. And it made me 
suddenly think, out of all the people in the world, were the only one's 
who ever knew what really happened in the Chamber, were the only ones 
that met Tom Riddle there. Sure, people had heard what had happened in 
the chamber, and people must have known Tom at school – but we were the 
only ones that were really there, and saw what he was capable of. 

I couldn't help but wonder, what Harry would have said when Tom told him
they were alike, did he believe it? Did he accept it? Or did he fight 
back? I'd probably never find out, it was between Tom and Harry, he 
wasn't the kind of person to go around talking to people about things 
like that. 

‘You know, you think you get over something, but you don't really – it
haunts you, comes back when you least expect it, and the smallest thing 
can trigger it off' I said to myself quietly but apparently loud enough 
for Harry to hear. 

‘Yeah well we've been through more than other people have, but you just
have to let go Ginny. Accept it, deal with it and get over it. Tom 
can't hurt you anymore, you seem to live your life on edge, expecting 
him to turn up any minute' said Harry looking at me quizzically. 

‘I know. I do.' I said heavily, ‘Do you do that though? Accept it, deal
with it and get over it?' 

‘I try' shrugged Harry, ‘You don't have to be afraid anymore Ginny' 

I stared at him in wonder, as he got up and walked over to me, offering
a hand to help me up. 

‘You really are nothing like him Harry' I said, as if suddenly realising
something that was in front of my face the whole time. 

‘Thanks' he said, apparently accepting my earnestness as the final word.


* 

Dear Diary, 

I sorted everything out with Harry! I still can't believe I acted so
stupid, but it's all over now, and Hermione's right I can laugh about 
it. Ever since Harry arrived this holiday, I've been thinking about the 
Chamber of Secrets and Tom. I've been so preoccupied with my memories 
of the past, I forgotten to look to the future, and I think I needed 
something like Harry and this holiday to point that out to me. 

Ever since the night in the Chamber of Secrets, I've been afraid,
without even knowing it. Tom may have been defeated that night by 
Harry, but he still lived on inside my head, inside my thoughts and 
dreams. And ever since that night, he's been winning. I haven't been 
strong enough to fight him, and everyday I felt a little bit more 
defeated, a little bit more scared, a little bit more lost. 

Since Harry turned up, I've been imagining that night, and Tom, and he
just succeeded in hurting me a little bit more, until I didn't think I 
could fight anymore. But the other night after my dream when I told 
Harry those things – I think it was truly a blessing in disguise. Harry 
made me see him for who he truly was – just a normal person. And he 
does get scared, and he does get frightened, and I think it's shown me 
that it's all right. 

Tom's not going to make me live in fear anymore, he's not going to rule
my life, I'm just going to accept the Chamber of Secrets had happened, 
I'm going to deal with it and I'm going to get over it. Look to a new 
beginning – because he's given me something... hope. 

And I think I'm finally ready to say what has been growing inside me
since the night of the third task, ever since I realised I could lose 
him, and never see him again. To say what it is that makes me not want 
to spend another day in the world if Harry Potter wasn't in it. 

I love him. 

And that's all there is to it. And I don't care if he will never love
me, because I've known what love is. 

Love Ginny. 

The End? 


Tweet