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Dino the Dinosaur. (standard:science fiction, 9477 words) | |||
Author: Oscar A Rat | Added: Jul 21 2020 | Views/Reads: 1404/997 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
A real dinosaur is found in Death Valley. | |||
Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story walked around his auto, looking for leaks or anything out of whack. Not finding any breaks in the undercarriage or seeing smoke, he walked away for a distance, thinking it might be something in the air. "Nope. It has to be inside. It smells like wet ten-year-old cat shit in there. I can't be carrying anything that smells that bad." Holding his nose, he opened all the doors and windows of the machine, recoiling when he lifted the back end. A viscous mess in the rear of the vehicle caught his attention. It covered the unknown object as well as part of his supplies. Homer shoved everything contaminated with the fluid out and drove a little distance away before using precious water to clean the residue out. The Humvee smelled much better. Going back to where the mess lay, he tried to salvage what he could of the stinking supplies. Noticing that the strange object was leaking the fluid, and its outer covering much looser than before, he turned the thing so as to place the opening at the bottom, punched a small hole in the top, and drained it. While draining, the leathery object shook, as though something were alive inside. Homer shook his head to clear it, thinking the sun was affecting his senses. No. He saw the thing was quivering and jerking. "I'm out of my depth here," Homer decided, watching the shaking object. What looked like a beak appeared through the hole he'd made, then withdrew. "I better get this damned thing out of here," Homer decided. "It's alive." Gingerly putting the -- now softer and lighter -- object back in the rear of the Humvee, he stepped on the gas and headed back to civilization as fast as he could traverse the sandy soil. Not having any place specific in mind -- only to get it to some sort of expert and out of his vehicle so he could close the windows -- he stopped at the first government building he could find, a handy post office. "Good enough," Homer told himself. "Someone in there can figure out what it is and what to do with it." Going around to a loading dock at the back of the building, he put the object into an empty mail cart and wheeled it inside. Finding an officious-looking woman carrying a clipboard near the back door, he tapped her on the shoulder. "Got something for you, sister," he told her, showing the object, a beak now hungrily pecking through the hole in what was obviously a huge leathery egg. "It's your baby now." "What the hell is that thing?" she asked him. "It's not mine. It's not properly packed for mailing. Not even any postage on it." The woman turned away, feeling sick from the smell. "Here." Homer shoved a few bills into her uniform pocket. "This should cover it. Bye." Before she could react, he was out the door and driving away. By then, a crowd of curious postal-workers had gathered. The shift leader, Muriel, didn't know what to do with the egg. It stunk up the mailroom. "You people get back to work ... right now," she commanded. "Johnson, take this to Mr. Jamison," she ordered a worker. In the postal system, it was always better to pass the unknown up the ladder, as well as to pass any blame downward. After all, she was under civil service. Al Johnson did as he was ordered and wheeled the stinking cart to an elevator. Pushing the button to the prestigious top floor, he held his nose and waited as the cage ascended. When the elevator stopped, he wheeled the cart down a long desk-filled room to an office cluster at the far end. Opening a door, he banged himself and cart through a narrow doorway, stopping beside the first work station. "My boss, Muriel down in the mail room, sent this up," Al told a secretary, then hurriedly left with an apologetic closing explanation, "Someone left it down there." Smelling the cart, the secretary was in no hurry to come any closer. "Mr. Jamison? I think you better come out here, right away, sir," she spoke into the intercom on her desk. By that time, the egg's occupant had almost succeeded in extracting itself. It looked like a large iguana; one with a three-pronged horn on its nose. "Squeeeeeek" it said, as it took its first good look at the world outside. "Sqqqquuueeeek," in annoyance at not finding its mother. Fearful -- but curious at the sound – Sandy Peters, the secretary, edged over and bent down to the cart while holding a handkerchief over her nose. She though it was kind of cute. But then, Sandy was a native of that area and had seen many a lizard. She'd even kept a few as pets when she was younger. Her boss came out to see what all the ruckus was about, only to recoil at the smell. "Jesus. Who farted," was his first statement. It couldn't be his attractive secretary, but no one else was around. He went over to the cart. "Where the hell did this come from ... Sandy?" "I don't know, Mr. Jamison. A worker just brought it in and left it." "Well, get it out of here. Jesus, that smell." "They all stink when they hatch. I think he's cute." "Well, clean it up or throw it out. I don't care. Just get rid of it." He went back to his office and closed the door. Sandy took the creature into the womens' restroom and cleaned it off in the sink. It smelled much better afterward. Returning to the office for a garbage bag, she stuffed the remains of the egg inside and dumped it back into the cart, which was promptly sent downstairs in the elevator – unattended and passing the buck back downwards. While cleaning the mess in the cart, she noticed a strange object half-covered with gook. It was an inch-thick metallic rod, over a foot long and shiny. Strange, she thought? wondering how it had gotten inside a lizard egg. Looking closer as she washed it to in the sink, she noticed strange hieroglyphics along the side and decided to keep it. Sandy had never heard of such things being inside eggs, even lizard eggs. She took the lizard and rod back to the office where she lined a wastebasket with paper towels and deposited both inside. A little spray deodorant made any lingering stink go away. "Might as well take the little stinker home with me," she mumbled to herself, grinning. It reminded her of a former pet. *** The creature, transferred to a cardboard carton, peered out the window of her car. It was quiet and seemed interested as they drove to Sandy's apartment. She rented half a duplex in the suburbs. The lizard squeaked softly and rubbed its head against the back of her hand as she carried it inside. Setting the carton on the kitchen table, she turned to the refrigerator -- feeling like an after-work snack. Usually Sandy stopped at a fast-food place on the way home but, with her new pet, she'd forgotten and driven straight home instead. "Now what would the little guy eat, I wonder?" She looked in the vegetable drawer and saw only wilted lettuce and a limp carrot. Turning to give them to her new pet, she found he was gone. Somehow he had gotten out of the cardboard carton. She looked around and found the little critter standing in the doorway to her living room. "Now, how did you do that?" Her question was answered as the animal jumped from the doorway to her shoulder, and she was almost six-feet tall. It had been a good twelve-foot leap. It landed gently, though, and began nibbling on her ear. "You're a strong little kid, aren't you?" She picked it off and, sitting it on the table, tried out various foods. She even found a few stray cans of cat-food from when she'd boarded a friend's pet. The animal seemed to be watching closely as she opened the can with a small hand-opener. It appeared to eat almost anything, but preferred the cat-food. She left a second can and the opener sitting on the counter. "Maybe you're only hungry, little feller? I'm just glad I don't have to use an eyedropper to feed you milk." After eating, it squeaked contentedly, curled up on the table and went to sleep. Sandy made a bed for it by cutting down the sides of the carton, putting in rags, and then placing it in a corner of an enclosed back porch behind the kitchen. Not knowing what to do with it, she put the cylinder on top of the refrigerator. Placing the creature inside the box and leaving the kitchen door open, she went back into the apartment to watch television. That night, Sandy searched the Internet for lizard pictures, trying to identify her new pet. She knew something about them, enough to know that it wasn't local, but wanted to find out just what species it belonged to. After hours of searching, and several visits to the kitchen to look closer at it, she still didn't know. Sandy left the door cracked open when she went to bed, not thinking her find was a threat. It hadn't tried to bite her before, so she didn't think it would sneak in and rip her throat out during the night. *** When Sandy's alarm clock went off in the morning, she reached over to turn it off, feeling a lump beside her in the bed. It was the lizard. Somehow, it had gotten in bed with her and was cuddled up alongside her pillow. In the dim light, its eyes seemed to glow with intelligence. "How you doin' this morning, Sonny?" she asked, petting it. Of course, it didn't answer, but did jump down and follow her out to the kitchen. She needed several cups of coffee in the morning to wake up. It must think I'm its mother, she thought. Sandy filled the coffeemaker and turned it on, getting bread out for toast. Then, thinking of the lizard, her eyes found the second can of cat-food. It was open -- and half eaten. She didn't remember opening it the night before, and would have certainly put it in the refrigerator if she had. "It must have been me. The little guy can't work a can opener and I was the only one here. Strange, though." She scraped the cat-food out onto a paper plate and offered it to her new companion, muttering, "I must be desperate. Now I'm sleeping with lizards." Sandy ate her breakfast and began the process of getting ready for work, the little guy following her everywhere. It seemed to be paying more attention to rooms like the bathroom, which had the door closed the night before, than the open rooms. It ran around and stuck its nose into everything. Spying a Polaroid camera on the dresser, she dusted it off and took snapshots of the critter. She knew an office worker that was a nut about the things. He could tell her what type it was. "Now don't you make a mess while I'm gone," she told it and shut the door in its face. She could hear squeaking through the panel as she walked to her car. At least the other tenant of her house was away so the noise wouldn't bother anyone, she thought. In the lunchroom during lunch break, she saw the lizard nut sitting alone. Sandy remembered her photos and sat across from him. "I've been meaning to ask you something, Paul." She showed him the pictures and explained about her new companion, forgetting about the shiny cylinder. He studied them carefully, and couldn't identify the creature. "Let me take these home and look through my books. I'll let you know tomorrow." "Sure. I can take more if I need them." On the way home, she stopped at the supermarket. She bought various items for herself and a large mixture of foods to try out on the lizard, curious to see what it would eat. Sandy also stopped at a McDonalds and bought herself a couple of sandwiches and a large order of fries. She already had a twelve-pack of Cokes at home. The woman was surprised when there were no squeaks as she opened the door. Searching for her lizard, she found a magazine open in a corner of the back porch. It had a neat pile of little pellets on it. Talk about being housebroken, she thought, continuing her search. At least one problem was solved. She found the lizard sleeping peacefully on her bed. "Hello, little guy. Miss me?" She nudged it. It looked up and growled at her, showing its teeth, then turned its head back to the covers. "What's a matter with you? Mad at me for leaving you?" She carefully tickled its exposed stomach, getting a kind of giggle and a squeak. Its head raised to lick her hand. Friendly again, it followed her around the same as the day before, but never getting underfoot. It did seem intent on the television screen, as though studying the programs. After checking the TV Guide, as an experiment Sandy turned on a show about crocodile hunting. The little lizard perked right up and began squeaking softly, apparently talking to itself. It was, indeed, watching the television -- even seeming to understand what it saw. Her other lizards had never done that. That night, the lizard slept with her again. The next day, Paul told her that he couldn't find anything out about her new pet. It had some distinctly non-lizard-like features. For instance, it seemed to have opposing claws, like thumbs. That was something no other lizard possessed. It meant that it could grip objects the same way humans could. "I checked all my manuals and even made a trip to the library. I couldn't find any pictures exactly like your's. Maybe it's a new species or," he joked, "a dinosaur." "Yeah, I'm the proud owner of the world's only compact tyrannosaurus." "Let me know when it gets to twenty-feet tall. It could make one hell of a lot of lizardburgers." "Nobody eats my dinosaur," she exclaimed, with a serious look on her face that made Paul laugh. *** That night, the two of them were watching television. The Flintstones were on. The lizard seemed to like cartoon shows, much like a little kid would. He was jumping around and squeaking up a storm. "I see you like this show, Dino." She exclaimed, watching his antics. It seemed an apt name. He did look something like a smaller version of the cartoon character. Dino kept growing. Not so quickly that it was noticed day by day, but in six months he grew to four-feet tall and six-feet long. He also evolved to walking on two legs. Somehow, I seem to have gotten a real dinosaur, Sandy thought. Her pet also showed more and more signs of intelligence. Noticing her throwing his droppings into the toilet, he began putting them in himself, even flushing. He became adept at using the can opener, even the electric one. In time, he learned to change channels and volume on the television set. His claws had trouble with the remote, but he could work the larger controls on the set itself. Sandy was continually amazed by Dino's actions as he grew, both in size and in intelligence. She never had trouble controlling him. It was as though he really thought of her as his mother. One morning, when she crawled out of bed she saw Dino in the living room. He held the cylinder in his claws, up to his right eye. Dino seemed preoccupied, only giving her a noncommittal good-morning-type squeak. Since she had to leave for work and he found his own food by that time, she dressed and left. I have to decide what to do with Dino, she thought. It's getting too expensive to feed him. My savings won't last forever, and he keeps getting larger. That night, Dino hadn't moved from his seat. From his weight, the bottom of the couch nearly touched the floor. He was still peering intently into the cylinder. An observer would have seen both of them apparently lost in thought. She was trying to decide what to do about her finances and he was sitting, immobile, with the cylinder to his eye. "What can I do with you, Dino honey?" she muttered to herself. "You're getting more and more expensive to keep. I'll have to take out a loan or something in order to feed you. On top of that, if you keep growing this house will be too small to keep you." Her eyes clouded. "I'd hate to get rid of you, but this just can't go on much longer." By that time, Dino was at least eight-feet long and five high, on all fours. She had to switch to buying dry pet food in hundred-pound bags, along with the largest cans she could find. For over a week, Dino spent most of his time looking into his cylinder and wasn't very sociable. After the first few days, he would mutter and point the other end at Sandy, as she also muttered and talked to him and herself. It felt almost as though he was aiming a gun at her, which she thought was silly. One night, while watching television, she heard. "Hello, Ssssandy. How youuuu doin'?" She looked over and saw Dino looking at her. "Did you say something?" she asked, in a mild shock. "Yasss. Youuu can underssstand me?" She got to her feet, shaky feet at that, and joined him on the poor sagging couch. "Yes, I . . . und . . . uder . . . understand you. How . . . how did you learn to talk? That thing in your hand?" "Yessss, It isss what youuu call a computer, and muuuch more. We muussst talk." "Oh, Yes. Yes. I . . . would love to talk to you, Dino." She was ecstatic at the thought, "What does your computer do?" It was all so weird, as though in a dream. "It told me my hisssstory, explained who I issss, and tauught me youuur languuuage by lissstening to youuu talk," he explained. "Of couuurssse, I knew a lot from lissstening by myself." He had trouble speaking, using an unfamiliar language with vocal cords not made for human speech. His volume also went up and down as he talked. "History? What is your history? Are you really a dinosaur from our past, or are you from outer space somewhere?" "Both. My people sssstarted ouuut on Earth, buuut left it before youuuuu came." Questioning brought out that ancient dinosaurs were intelligent, some much more than humans. By the time Earth's climate changed, becoming colder, they had already started colonies on other worlds. When it became too cold for them here, they simply packed up and left. At first, the Earth became a tourist attraction. After a few million years, it was abandoned entirely because of lack of interest. For a brief few million it had also been used as a prison colony, to send incorrigible criminals. When mammals evolved, this world became a sort of nature preserve -- which was Earth's present status. According to his device, Earth has the only intelligent mammals ever found. It is a condition so rare that it is a crime to even land here. "Did youuu actuuually think that a sssspecies that wassss huuundredssss of millionssss of yearssss old wuuouldn't be intelligent?" Dino laughed loudly at the thought, shaking the house at the audacity. "You said it told you who you are. Did it tell you what you're doing here? And what is your name?" "If I told youuu, youuu probably couuuldn't pronouuunce it, and it might shake down the houuusssse. Better not. And the one thing it didn't tell wassss why I am here." He gave her a sad look. "It did tell me how to get home, though." He told her that although his people knew all about machinery, they preferred to use their minds. They knew enough about molecular and biological engineering to shape their children to fit other worlds, rather than using mechanisms to re-shape the worlds themselves. That was probably why he had opposable thumbs, he said. "I hope you don't have to leave soon, Dino. I'd miss you." She hugged his huge form. Sandy no longer thought of him as a pet, rather as a companion; now, especially, since he could talk. "I don't know what I sssshouuuld do, Ssssandy. Thissss is my home. Buuut I am getting too big for this houuuse. Can youuu find a bigger one, with a place I can go ouuutsssside?" Despite his obvious intelligence, it took her hours to explain the concept of money. "So, you see, I would need a lot more money to buy another house. The bigger the house and the more land I want, the more money I also need. Right now, I don't have much left." They talked about ways to get more money. "Wouuuld people pay to see me?" "Sure, but then the government would probably take you. You wouldn't like that." "I ssssaw on TV that humans pay to grow new hair. On my compuuuter, there is a formuuula to do that to us." "I don't think many people would pay to grow hair on lizards." "On birdssss too?" "Na. Wouldn't work out." "I ssssaw a thing youuu have to cuuut things. It sssseemed awkward. I know how to grow a cuuutting sssstring. It will cuuut throuuugh everything, even diamondssss." "How does it do that?" "It issss only one molecule thick and slips easily throuuugh subsssstancessss, between the atomssss, ssssplitting the forces holding them together. Youuu slowly drip a mixtuuure from the end of a glassss rod. It hardenssss into a ssssingle sssstring, the excessss dripping off th' end." He finished, "It only sssssticksss to glassss." "That might work. How hard is it to make the mixture?" "Real eassssy. I alsssso know how to make a gluuue that will sssssstick anything together with anything elssss. Sssstronger than anything youuu have now. It can gluuue huge machinessss together with one drop." "UUUee, but that sounds good. Something like that might be easy to sell." The hardest part, and most expensive, was to identify the chemicals needed. Dino had to query the computer endlessly to identify and match names to profiles of simple chemicals. Although smart by human standards, he wasn't all that good with chemicals. Sandy bought him every toy chemistry set she could find. He looked for attributes of chemicals in his computer database, and then had to try out and document each earthen substance individually to find one that matched. It took time, but he finally had them isolated. Making the cutting string was hardest. He experimented with quantities and types of glass rods to get it right. He finally asked Sandy to buy a small air-conditioner to keep a room the right temperature to solidify a mono-molecular string. The glue was relatively easy. He never did get it exactly right, but close enough to sell. *** Sandy was run ragged, trying to work full time and then visit prospective buyers in her off-hours. After all, she worked most of the business day. A lot of them wouldn't even see her, and others worked the same hours she did. Of course, Dino was no help. With his accent, he couldn't even answer a telephone. Eventually, Sandy used her job to get a loan and then took a chance and quit the post office. She packed a suitcase with samples to take with her and -- leaving Dino alone with a stock of food set out for California. Addresses from television commercials, the Internet and magazines in hand, she hit those sunny hot streets. *** "We only pack and ship the product," a manager of one plant told her. "The parts are sent here by different factories. We assemble and package products, then send them to another company for distribution. We don't buy or sell anything ourselves." After several similar replies, she tried a company that sent in orders to the packer. "No, ma'am. All we do here is answer the telephone and mail, take orders, and process payments. Then we pass the order down to the individual shippers. Sorry, but I can't help you." Frustrated, Sandy called a television station and found the telephone number of an advertiser. "Ace Advertising, Ms. Jones speaking. May I help you?" Ms. Jones only knew that her company received samples of products and used them to advertise on different media. She could not give out information about who they billed. The factories only produced simple parts, shipping them to assembly plants. They had no interest at all in any other aspects, such as buying or advertising. They received instructions on how many of what item to produce and when -- then trucked their products to an assembly company. No. The factories weren't interested in investing in new products. "Someone sends us specifications, then comes in to check once in a while and we send them the bill," the manager told her, with a shrug. "We're only the middleman." It took a week of running and searching, but she finally made it to a small concrete block building behind an average house in Fresno, California. The entire huge conglomeration seemed to emanate from that small shack. And the building was closed and locked up. It must be the right place, she knew, because there was a tiny hand-lettered sign on its screen door, "Home of Your Friendly International Selling Consortium." Finding no answer by ringing a doorbell at the front of the house itself, she went to a local 7/11 store and used its bathroom. Then, Sandy bought a couple of bottles of water and a pile of sandwiches and camped out in a driveway between the front of the house and the shack, deliberately blocking the entrance. Late that night, a middle-aged couple in a ten-year-old Ford pulled into the driveway. When they saw Sandy's auto parked across the driveway and her nodding off under a nearby tree, they tried to backup and retreat. Sandy jumped up and caught them before they could get out of sight at the house. "Oh, yes, we own that company. A real moneymaker, if you're interested? It's already set up and you can have it for only ten-million dollars? You got cash?" the man asked her, after introductions. "Sure. We have a little time if you haven't got the money with you." He explained that he developed products and set things up to work automatically. Even the checks for his expenses were written by a hired organization, with profits sent directly to his financial adviser. Once the complex process was set up, he and his wife were out of the loop. All they had to do was draw money out of an account handled by their bookkeeper. "But now," he admitted, since he could see she wasn't going to buy the business, "but now, my products have about run their course and are less in demand every week. Now's the time to bail out, before the lawsuits come in." "Lawsuits?" Sandy asked, "What lawsuits? Is something wrong with your products?" "Heavens, no, child," the wife told her. "It's just that any seller has small lawsuits piling up. The longer you sell, the higher the pile. You pay your lawyer to hold them off for months or years, in hopes many will disappear ... and they do. Others eventually drop to reasonable levels and are paid. But when you go out of business, sell your company or go bankrupt, you have to settle all of them first. Buyers won't purchase a company if it has piles of pending lawsuits. It's only a nuisance. Most will sue for ten million and settle for ten thousand. "We've owned twelve companies in ten years," the man bragged. "When profits become eclipsed by expenses, we close down and start another one -- often with the same goods to sell at the same locations but under a new label and logo." He sniffled. "It's part of the game." "I don't want to buy your business," Sandy told them for the fifth time. "I want to make you rich with my new string and glue." The woman sighed. "Everyone wants to make us rich ... with our own money. Right now, we're spending half our time trying to sell the business, and the other half avoiding people like you and your lawyers. "Since you're here, what have you got? A better can opener? A doggie diaper?" The man asked. "I'm interested in a new idea for when I start my next business cycle." Finally, Sandy had a chance to demonstrate the mono-molecular fiber. It was invisible without a microscope and came wound onto polarized-glass rods -- the only thing it would not cut through. The sample threads were eight-inches long with protective polarized-glass hand-holds on each end. Grasping the string in each hand, Sandy cut through a six-inch-thick iron pipe with no effort at all, as though it were made of butter. "I don't think we could sell that, Sandy," the man -- named Mr. Sampson -- told her over a cup of tea. "Despite warnings, people would end up cutting their hands off with it. Maybe we could sell it industrially, though? If we require each customer to sign an agreement not to sue us?" He shook his head. “Even then, injury lawyers would proliferate like mice.” "I dunno, dear," his wife said. "We try to avoid complex industrial machinery. They cost a lot for each item and go out of style too quickly. Small items for mass markets are more our style." The glue fared much better, but was still no good for sale to the public since Dino had no way to dissolve it. If you accidentally got a drop on your finger and touched something you were attached for life. That wasn't a very good selling point. "If you want, you can leave the samples with me and I'll try to find a buyer. For a percentage, of course," Mr. Sampson suggested. Since she had no alternative plan, they agreed on a fifty-percent share for him. After all, he had a complete system set up. She was forced to return home in virtual defeat. *** On the second day Sandy was gone, the doorbell rang. Dino maneuvered his eleven-foot-long frame out into the foyer and peeked out the side of a curtain. Maybe Sandy ordered something? he thought. An old woman stood outside, ringing the bell. She was looking right at him as he quickly drew his massive head back. "I know you're in there. Is something wrong? I haven't seen you lately. If you don't answer, girl, I'm calling the police," a strident voice called out. The woman wasn't going to leave. "It's Mabel from next door," the woman said. "I heard banging in there. If it's you, Ms. Peters, say something . . . last chance before I call the cops." Not knowing what to do, Dino turned off the lights and opened the door a crack. "Everything's all right, I've just got a cold," he told her, trying to sound like Sandy, "Please go away." Of course it came out as, "Everything'ssss all right, I've juuust got a cold. Pleassss go away," in a gentle soft rumble. Before he could close the door, there was a loud "Bang" and something came through the door. Bewildered, Dino backed up by reflex as the old lady pushed her way in. She held a large smoking pistol. "I knew it. What did you do to poor Sandy?" The woman pointed her weapon at Dino. "Back up, you glorified lizard. I'm a security guard and know how to use this thing." Of course, gentle Dino did as she demanded. He knew from television that the pistol thing might sting. "Don't huuurt me pleassss, I didn't do anything to her," Dino implored Mabel, wondering how to handle the situation. Mabel listened to his explanation, and then insisted on searching the apartment. Everything seemed in order -- except for the giant lizard, of course. While she was searching, Dino brewed a pot of tea. Then they sat down to talk. "Ssssoo Ssssandy is ouuut trying to get moore money for ussss. I'm sssstill not ssssure why we need it, buuut she inssssissssted." "Oh, it's necessary, believe me." Mabel took time to go over the concept of money for him, trying to make him understand. Then the woman had an idea. "I think I know how to solve that problem, Dino," she confided, "A way you can pay your own way and get plenty of extra." *** When Sandy returned home she was feeling depressed. On one hand, she was glad to get back to Dino. On the other, she was not only without a job but in debt from her trip and with no solution in sight. The little money she still had from her loan would have to go for another week or two of food for the dinosaur. As she entered her apartment, Sandy noticed the bullet hole in her door and rushed inside, all thoughts of finances forgotten. "Dino, where are you?" she called, running from room to room. Dino was gone. In a state of shock, panting from exertion, Sandy slumped onto the couch, wondering what she could do next. "Did the authorities get him?" She pondered the implications. The woman sat, crying, missing the big lizard. It wasn't until she became hungry and went to the kitchen that she found a human-sized note on the table, propped up by a ketchup bottle. She hadn't noticed it before because Dino couldn't write that small. It was from her neighbor, Mabel, who rented the other side of the house and read: "Hi, Sandy. Me and Dino have gone to see my brother in Hollywood. He promised Dino a job. There has been a resurgence of Godzilla movies and he said Dino would be perfect for the part. When you get home, call us. It might take a few days to get to Hollywood, though." Mabel left her brother's phone number. *** "We there yet?" Dino called from a large horse-trailer trundling along behind Mabel's ten-year-old Ford. Cars swerved as his growling voice carried across six of eight lanes. Mabel parked illegally at the edge of the road and got out to answer him. "Now you be quiet, Dino. We're in California, but still need about three hours to get to the studio." "I'm huuuungry and thirssssssty and my bucket'sssss full." Mabel brought the last two five-gallon cans of water from her backseat, along with several cases of canned dog food. He could open them himself, thank God, she thought. Next, she spent fifteen minutes dipping buckets of droppings from a large washtub in the trailer, dumping them in a ditch. It's probably illegal but what else can I do? she thought. She certainly couldn't let him out to pee. "Thank youuuuu, Mabel." Matters improved once they found and entered a movie lot in the Hollywood suburbs. The gate guard, used to strange sights and special effects, barely acknowledged Dino standing quietly when he checked the trailer out for hidden fans and groupies. "Okay, ma'am. Mr. Thirston said you should go to Lot #32. Down this road to the end, then make a left. It'll be a large brown Quonset hut on your right." They were surprised to see his new home was large and airy, the size of an airplane hanger. It was used for storage and her brother had set up a nice corner for Dino. The studio owned plenty of overly-large furniture, used in several movies, so that wasn't a problem. The dinosaur did have to go outside to relieve himself in a fake well from an ancient Lassie picture. It had never held water but was lined with plastic bricks so Lassie could save a kid on his knees inside. "It'sssss nice, but when will SSSSandy get here?" "We'll have to find out if she called while we were on the road. If not, I can call her. First, though, I have to see my brother and he'll want to meet you." "Me! A monsssster. I can't believe it. Maybe I'll meet Godzilla, in persssson? You think ssssso? "I doubt it. Godzilla isn't real, only camera trickery with small toy monsters. Now, look around and get comfy while I make my phone calls." Dino looked into a huge walk-in refrigerator, finding it cold but empty. "I need sssssome food." Within an hour, matters were to become hectic. First, Mabel finished her calls and came over to Dino, who was sitting on a huge couch used in the Shrinking Orphan movie. "Sandy won't be here for three or four days. She has to close her bank account and notify our landlord that none of us are returning there. Sandy says she's found a backer for those new products, whatever that means, and to tell you. So, I told you." "I have to explain sssssomething, Mabel. I sssssearched my (unpronounceable) and--" "Sheeee. We don't have time now. Herman's coming over with a gaggle of movie bigshots. They want to meet you and should be here any minute." An overhead door picked that moment to rise, allowing three brightly-colored limos to drive right in, to steer over to Dino's corner of the huge storage room. They sat silently for a moment or two before a door opened and a middle-aged man dressed in a casual style of jeans and a striped shirt got out. Immediately, a dozen men and women wearing expensive suits hurried out and over to their boss. Dino and Mabel could already hear a chorus of "Yes," and "yessir"s. He came over and motioned Mabel to join him. "Oh! Yessss! He'll do. He is alive, isn't he, Mabel, honey? Not a fake like at MGGM?" "Dino's alive all right, Barry. I've been shoveling his shit for the whole trip. Believe me, he's alive." He lowered his voice to ask, "He doesn't bite, does he? You say he's housebroken? I don't have to hire a man with a Super-Pooper-Scooper?" "Alive and probably more intelligent than we are, Barry. Don't worry about that." Barry called one of his flunkies over. "Jim-Jim. Junk that trailer and get Dino, here, the largest limo you can find." "Yessir, boss. Uh, I don't think they're made that large. Is he still growing?" he asked Mabel. "Dunno. I think so, though. He grew a few inches on the way over." "Jim-Jim, boy. You got your task, now leave us alone. Use your imagination." He looked back at the car and trailer. "And while you're at it, find Mabel something appropriate to drive before the press finds out." He motioned to two of the women standing near their car. When they came over, he told them to, "Introduce yourselves to Dino. You're to be his personal assistants. Fix him up good." Another man was assigned to see about clothing Dino. Barry thought a naked dinosaur, his sex swinging when he walked, would annoy mothers. Another was put in charge of arranging a screen test for the dinosaur. In that manner, the crowd was soon reduced to Dino, Mabel, and Barry himself -- not counting his driver, who was sitting in the limo reading a magazine. Conspicuously, Dino himself was pretty much left out of the conversation. Not that he was ignored, mind you. A studio tailor measured him for a suit and especially shorts. Janet and Janice, his assistants were busy making lists of Dino's needs and wants. Lesser flunkies came and went as cellphone activity increased. Barry knew the press would know, soonest, and wanted the dinosaur's new image to be in place by the time they arrived. *** When Sandy finally made it to the studio, she was stopped at the gate. "You need a pass to get in, Ms," she was told. "Who do I have to see to get one?" "It's after business hours and Admissions is closed. Try back tomorrow morning." "Look. I really have to see someone. Can't you call them or something?" "If you have their number, I or you can call. If not, I can't give phone numbers out, especially after hours. Sorry. See you in the morning. Good night, ma'am." He turned to leave. Standing outside the gate, she tried Mabel's cellphone again, with no answer. Finally, since the huge lot was empty and the guard sitting with his feet up, watching a tv set in a far corner of the shack, she settled down to wait. Figuring it wouldn't do any harm, she parked her car in the closest parking spot she could find, a studio executive slot. Getting in, Sandy turned on her radio and waited. Almost broke, she didn't have enough money for a motel room in expensive Hollywood. *** Dino sat alone in his new warehouse home. Despite the Dino-sized furniture, the place was drafty. Mabel had gone somewhere with her brother. She promised to be back later to keep him company, but for the moment he was lonely. Lonelier than he'd ever been in his short life. And he still had to tell her the news he'd found out on his (unpronounceable) staff. It was very important, but he hadn't had a chance. Barry had hustled everyone around and they had been separated. He wished Sandy were there, but she wasn't expected till morning. He was lonely, both excited and lonely. After walking around the warehouse for awhile, examining props from past movies, Dino realized he could finally go outside. He'd rarely been out since moving in with Sandy. Well, he thought, riding in the trailer didn't really count. It only took a couple of minutes for him to figure out how to open the large overhead door. Stepping outside, he saw most of the lot was dark, except for a brightly lighted spot a long distance away. Dino thought that might be where they'd driven in. He decided he'd go see. Why not? If he kept to shadows, his ten-foot high twelve-foot long body might squeeze through spaces between buildings. He'd heard of Hollywood through magazines and television. Now he could see for himself. It would be nice to find a high place he could see from. When he was near the gate, Dino noticed a tall building close to the security wall. It looked to be six stories high. Why not? he decided. He'd never tried climbing but found it easy with a brick wall. There were many protuberances along with wide spaces between bricks. His opposing claws were a big help. In minutes, he reached a flat roof. The lights of Hollywood were naked before him. Unfortunately for Dino, that wasn't the only thing naked he found on that roof. "Isn't it beautiful under the stars," June Jimson, aspiring actress, mumbled into her lover's ear. "Except for all those damned flashing lights." "Ummmmm, stay below the parapet, honey." Tim Thompson, janitor, fumbled at a latex condom, much too large for its present owner. "You don't happen to have a rubber band on you?" "Damn it, Tim," she said, reaching under to help, "why'd you buy that Nigerian brand?" "They was out'a Trainers, and I had'da get something." Hearing a growling cough, June snatched at vital areas with both hands as she looked up to see a huge monster standing in the shadows of a ventilation pipe. "Shreeeek!" Seeing a much larger problem, Tim forgot about his tiny one. Jumping to his feet, he cried to June, "Keep him busy. I'll go for help," before running to the exit door. The man rushed down concrete stairs to the nearest telephone, calling the police. At first, they didn't believe him. After all, he was calling from a studio that was famous for cheap monster movies. "Goddammit," he screamed hysterically, "it is a monster, just like Godzilla." When the desk sergeant promised to send someone to check, Tim thought of the danger on the roof. He broke the glass around a fire-axe hanging on a wall and rushed to slam the door at the bottom of the stairwell to the roof shut. He would show that monster by not letting it get down from there, he decided while shoving furniture against the door. The desk sergeant looked on his computer monitor and found a car only a couple of blocks from the studio. "Car 52, standby please," he said into a radio. Then the sergeant had to spend a few minutes looking up the closest radio code for "Godzilla on a roof with a pretty girl." He thought he had it, until noticing that was a giant ape. Finally, frustrated, he called car 54 back, saying, "Car 52. Tootie, there's a report of a huge monster holding a girl captive at Majestical Studios on 188th street. Why don't you cruise by and check the roofs quick? Ask the guard at the gate what's going on." When the policeman saw what looked like a fifty-foot lizard holding a wildly waving naked woman, he reacted quickly. The first thing he did was radio the matter in to the station. Next was to put on all his flashing lights and sirens in an attempt to get its attention. After that, he used his cellphone to take photos of the event. Lastly, he called a friendly reporter that would pay for the heads-up. Within two minutes, the scene was chaotic. It did take about ten minutes more before a half-dozen news helicopters gathered to buzz around Dino and June. Somehow, to the girl, the scene was reminiscent of an old movie as she, clutched safely in Dino's hand, smiled and waved at her audience. *** The activity woke Sandy, who'd been sleeping directly below. The sirens and lights frightened her. After trying to figure things out, with no success, she stepped out into a frantic mess. Police ran everywhere, shouting while setting up searchlights. Reporters were doing much the same with their cameras. Seeing the others staring above her, Sandy backed up a few paces to see HER dinosaur on the roof, holding a half-naked woman around the waist. "Oh, God, Dino!" she said. About that time a policeman approached, holding a bullhorn. He'd noticed she was parked in an executive slot. "You work here, ma'am?" When she shook her head, he backed up, raised his horn and said, in an amplified voice, "Hold on, young lady. We'll save you." Looking around, Sandy saw two police in military-looking uniforms holding rifles. "You're not going to shoot my dinosaur," she cried while running in their direction. *** Earlier, while Tim ran into the small shack on the roof that led downstairs, June scampered on hands and knees to hide behind a thin ventilator tube. She was crouching there when Dino came over. "What'ssss wrong? Was he huuuurting youuuu?" "Stay away. Please don't hurt me," she whimpered so low he couldn't hear. "Youuuu're ssssafe now. I won't let him huuuurt youuuu." Having watched a lot of television, Dino knew about sexual assault and rape. He reached down with his huge claws to comfort her. "Screeech! Help! Someone." June soon stopped as he gently patted her on the shoulder and looked down on her with gentle eyes. Luckily, he was silent for a few seconds, not opening a mouth filled with sharp teeth. "Wh -- Who are you? Is that a Godzilla suit?" She'd realized he wasn't really all that threatening, not immediately biting off one of the augmented breasts she was so proud of. "I'm not wearing a ssssuit. I'm Dino, a new movie monsssster. I work for Barry." "Barry Thirston, the producer? You work for THAT Barry?" "Uuuuuh, huuuuh. I think. Nobody told me hissss last name." Well, June thought, that changed things one hell of a lot. Maybe this was her chance at a meaningful career? She stood, in all her naked glory, and reached out a hand. Who cared if he wore a gorilla or a lizard suit? Hell, even if he were really a spider under that thing? Visions of flashing lights filled her nimble mind. Wait a minute. There were flashing lights. June crept over to the edge of the roof, glancing downward to see a crowd forming, police lights flashing madly. "Come on, Dino is it? Lets give them a show." Giving Dino a bright smile, she said, “We'll give them one they'll never forget.” Pulling at his arm, June held it around her waist until he tightened his grip, then led him to the edge. As she saw all those people, her fans, staring, June smiled and waved at them. Dino, not realizing his danger, went along with the ruse, waving his other arm around while he held her tightly to keep her from falling. *** That was the scene as Barry and Mabel arrived. At first, the police captain in charge of the event didn't recognize him. He thought the producer was only another civilian trying to force his way past the police blockade. When all the reporters, without exception, swung their cameras and microphones toward the producer, Lieutenant Johnson realized the guy must be important and signaled to let Barry and Mabel inside the cordon. All things must come to a head, and that was it. Within minutes, matters had settled down. The police took down their yellow tape. When Barry gave a brief statement about his new actor, the reporters tried for more information. The producer, used to their pleas, soon set them packing with uninformative tidbits, leaving them to expand the bits into huge conjecture. The lieutenant, along with Sandy, Mabel, and Barry passed Tim, still mostly naked, as they stormed up the stairs to the roof to break up the scene there. On his part, Tim, to be permanently bereft of those augmented globes, found spare coveralls in a maintenance locker and made his way home. Later, he became fond of telling future girlfriends of his bravery. *** Finally, Dino and the others, minus police presence, were back in Dino's warehouse. After greetings and introductions with Sandy, they sat over coffee and beer while listening to Dino explain his important information. (Language briefly cleaned up for better understanding.) "You see," he started, "what you call my staff is really an (unpronounceable). It has many functions for a young what you call dinosaur. First of all, it triggers our birth. The staff monitors temperature, for instance. "For millions of years, it wouldn't let me be born until conditions were right, such as in my finder's air-conditioned vehicle. Something must have happened to my mother after she laid the egg that became me. Something that led to my abandonment. I have no way of knowing what it was. "The (unpronounceable) is inserted into all of our eggs. It's also an educational device, a sort of computer containing vital information. Unlike you, we're typically alone at birth, only the strong expected to survive with the help of our (unpronounceable). "When we reach the right stage in life, proving we can survive, it's also a communication device, letting our people know when and where to pick us up. "When I reached that stage, I received a message that I'll be picked up and taken to my people. Not my mother. She and my father are irrelevant after laying my egg." Sandy was shocked. After all she'd been through, she was to lose him. "NO! I won't let you go. We're a couple, Dino. Please tell me you'll stay." "I'm ouuuut of place here, Ssssandy. I muuuust ansssswer the call." "Hold on here," Barry jumped to his feet. "You mean that I've spent all this money, not to mention my valuable time, only to lose you?" Dino nodded. "And, uh, how much time is involved, Dino, honey?" Mabel said, wiping her eyes. "Any time now," Dino answered. "A few yearssss, or centuriessss." "Centuries?" Barry said. "Centuries?" "Yessss. Intersssstellar travel takessss a long time." "Then we have time to make you a star," Barry recovered his enthusiasm. "Yessss. If I can pick my co-star. I want Juuuune." The End. Keep an eye on movie advertising. Tweet
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